{"id":1749,"date":"2009-05-01T08:08:50","date_gmt":"2009-05-01T11:08:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=1749"},"modified":"2009-05-01T00:05:27","modified_gmt":"2009-05-01T03:05:27","slug":"ysac-vol-288-yes-but-does-the-carpet-match-the-drapes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=1749","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. 288: Yes, but does the carpet match the drapes?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Still need a carpet layer – 49<\/h2>\n
\n

Ok, trying to get one room of carpet layed for several good blow jobs.
\nMust be W\/M not really overweight. Clean and DDF
\nI am W\/M 6’1 49 yrs old and about 240
\nI have all the material needed. Carpet, padding and strips. Room is 12 X 14
\nMust be descreet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Megan sends this one in, saying:<\/p>\n

“I have a few comments about this craziness:
\n1. Is that all it takes to get carpet laid in Tallahassee? Seriously?
\n2. So this guy has “all the material needed” but is the material for the blow jobs or the carpeting?
\n3. Insert “carpet laying” joke here. (Would have been much funnier if this was a female asking for some carpet laying)
\n4. My boss has been talking about having new carpet put in his house… should I be concerned?”<\/p>\n

If you’re desperate enough that you’re offering oral sex in exchange for having carpet put in your house, is it really in your best interest to be picky about who’s going to be doing it? “Sorry, you’re too fat\/ethnic for me, so I’m not going to let you install my carpet.” <\/p>\n

Unless this is another one of those Craigslist euphemisms. Maybe “carpet, padding and strips” is really a code word for some kind of S&M thing. I’d imagine that being hit with one of those carpet nail strips would probably hurt. Okay, I’m done imagining that<\/em> now.<\/p>\n

Oh, and “must be descreet” = “I’m married”. Just in case anyone was wondering. (Nobody was, right?)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Still need a carpet layer – 49 Ok, trying to get one room of carpet layed for several good blow jobs. Must be W\/M not really overweight. Clean and DDF I am W\/M 6’1 49 yrs old and about 240 I have all the material needed. Carpet, padding and strips. Room is 12 X 14 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[23,7,52],"class_list":["post-1749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personals","tag-classy","tag-speeling-prolbems","tag-this-can-only-end-badly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1749"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1751,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749\/revisions\/1751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}