{"id":2862,"date":"2009-08-16T09:37:33","date_gmt":"2009-08-16T13:37:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2862"},"modified":"2009-07-28T17:19:41","modified_gmt":"2009-07-28T21:19:41","slug":"ysac-vol-395-fun-with-midgets-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2862","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. 395: Fun with midgets, part 2."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Need Midget To Drink With<\/h2>\n
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Group of single male\/females that party together on a regular basis are seeking a person of short stature (midget) to hang out with. Do not get us wrong…. This is purely for novelty purposes, but if you’re cool you can really be our friend. Total plus if you are an Asian Midget, with a drinking problem, who has no issues being referred to as Godzilla.<\/p>\n

P.S. We will buy all the beer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Translation: We’re asshats.<\/p>\n

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Topless Poker Dealer<\/h2>\n
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Looking for one topless female poker dealer for a house cash game on Saturday July 18th, 2009. We are looking for someone who is hot, so if your old and washed up please don’t even bother applying for this gig. We want a hot, 21-32yr old female with a fabulous rack, nice features and a good sense of humor. Im not going to be rude and put a weight limit in this post but you know who are you, so don’t apply. If your not exactly sure how to deal poker its okay as long as your smoking hot with nice tits we can work around that part. It will pay $10 per hour plus tips and free drinks, shots, etc.<\/p>\n

If you are a Midget you will get front of the line consideration even if you don’t want to go topless.<\/p>\n

Please apply via email with a photo and contact info.<\/p>\n

-Brad P.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Translation: We’re asshats too, but for additional reasons beyond our midget fascination.<\/p>\n

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midgit for birthday party<\/h2>\n
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I am looking for a midgit for Wednesday night July 29th 2009 to appear at [place] in [location]. All drinks will be provided and a minimum of $50 in tips. A party attitude is a must! We are nice people and are just looking to have a good time with you!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m still a little unclear on when having a token midget friend became the the holy grail of hipsterdom. Then again, I’m most definitely not a hipster.<\/p>\n

Thanks, Lindsay O., Tyler, and Josh, for more midget mania<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Need Midget To Drink With Group of single male\/females that party together on a regular basis are seeking a person of short stature (midget) to hang out with. Do not get us wrong…. This is purely for novelty purposes, but if you’re cool you can really be our friend. Total plus if you are an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[58,23,25,61,33],"class_list":["post-2862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other","tag-asshat","tag-classy","tag-maybe-its-just-me","tag-punctuationally-challenged","tag-translation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2862"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2867,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2862\/revisions\/2867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}