{"id":349,"date":"2008-09-29T23:17:15","date_gmt":"2008-09-30T03:17:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=349"},"modified":"2009-05-06T18:19:15","modified_gmt":"2009-05-06T21:19:15","slug":"ysac-vol-lxi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=349","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. LXI"},"content":{"rendered":"
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watermelon (dt)<\/h2>\n
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Refrigerated watermelon up for grabs! A friend brought it over last week and i didn’t have the heart to tell him i dont like watermelon. I know I know, you may ask… But how can you not love watermelon??? … Well let me tell you … Not EVERYONE loves gosh darn stupid watermelon! Sorry , i have some watermelon issues. It is brand new, never tasted never man handled. It feels heavy.<\/p>\n

Make an offer kids.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So it’s Saturday night and there’s nothing on TV so you go to the fridge and then it hits you. There’s a freaking watermelon in there. It’s been there since last week, but it’s only just hit you. (Maybe you were on a happy adventure<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

But wait–you don’t like watermelon. In fact, you have “watermelon issues.”<\/p>\n

So you weigh the various options for getting rid of the watermelon, like leaving it on a neighbour’s doorstep with a sign that it’s a present from the watermelon fairy or donating it to a food bank or taking it to the grocery store and saying that green doesn’t match your decor so you’d like your money back. Then you hit upon a brilliant idea — you’ll put a notice on Craigslist.<\/p>\n

You’ll lure people to your ad under “Free stuff”, but you’ll still ask them to make you an offer for your watermelon because not only do you have watermelon issues, you have Getting-the-concept-of-free-stuff <\/em>issues. And you’ll post your location as “DT”, which presumably means downtown and not alcohol withdrawal symptoms, because people who live downtown are only too happy to walk 12 blocks to your apartment to get watermelon that’s going on two weeks old. And the most crucial thing doesn’t occur to you: if not EVERYONE loves gosh darn stupid watermelon, how many people are going to be looking for one on Craigslist?<\/em><\/p>\n

Submitted by Laurel — thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

watermelon (dt) Refrigerated watermelon up for grabs! A friend brought it over last week and i didn’t have the heart to tell him i dont like watermelon. I know I know, you may ask… But how can you not love watermelon??? … Well let me tell you … Not EVERYONE loves gosh darn stupid watermelon! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[9,11],"class_list":["post-349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-free","tag-unclear-on-the-concept","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=349"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2080,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions\/2080"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}