{"id":517,"date":"2008-10-27T08:29:28","date_gmt":"2008-10-27T12:29:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=517"},"modified":"2009-10-02T12:55:06","modified_gmt":"2009-10-02T16:55:06","slug":"ysac-vol-c","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=517","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. C"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shakespeare had nothing compared to the dramas that play out on Craigslist, which happen over the strangest things. Witness this opera in three acts on the topic of tree removal, narrated on all sides of the tree-removal romantic triangle:
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\nAct I:<\/strong> In which someone posts in the free section thusly:<\/p>\n

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Tree in front yard<\/h2>\n
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Okay theres a tree in the front yard no one here at the house cares about it so if you want it you can come over and Chop it down or tear it up to take home Haul yourself we really want to get ride of this tree in the front yard.
\nSO bring your Chainsaws and or axes and have at it! Tree is still standing can be used for fire wood or whatever you want. Please if you do come by and you do chop it down PLEASE DO NOT have it fall on the house.
\nIf interested please call xxx-xxx-xxxx Ask for Ann OR call xxx-xxx-xxxx And ask for Rick. Someone is always here to help and will always answer there phones if no one answers please leave a message and we will call you back ASAP.
\nOr stop by at [address] only stop by after 12 noon to whenever.For more pictures e-mail [address] in the subject put Craigslist so I don’t misstaken it for junk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\nIt’s not the best libretto in the world, but when sung as an aria it truly demonstrates their mastery of the sublime and<\/em> the ridiculous. You can totally hear the high notes on the climax of “PLEASE DO NOT have it fall on the house” juxtaposed against the syllabic presentation of the phone number.<\/p>\n

The first act ends with our hero, Rick, and heroine, Ann, reprising the beautiful love song, “SO bring your Chainsaws and or axes and have at it!”, while gazing at one another lovingly through the sawdust.<\/p>\n

Act II:<\/strong> Enter the villain:<\/p>\n

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Re: Tree in front yard (Fantasyland)<\/h2>\n
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So let me get this straight – You are offering for anyone to come to your house, cut down your tree and haul it away, all at no cost to me? You sure you don’t need someone to give you a bath and remodel your house for free as well?<\/div>\n

I’ll bet you have people knocking down the door and your voicemail full, what with such a once in a lifetime opportunity!<\/p>\n

OPPORTUNISTIC MORON<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\nLet me tell you, opera fans, if you’ve never heard a baritone (villains are always<\/em> baritones) belt out the showstopping cadenza to “OPPORTUNISTIC MORON” live, you haven’t lived. It’s truly awe-inspiring.<\/p>\n

Act III:<\/strong> In which a random chorus of Vikings makes their grand entrance from another opera\/posting from the same metropolitan area, also having to do with trees and the removal therewith:<\/p>\n

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RE : Free Tree Service (spam spam spam )<\/h2>\n
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ENOUGH re-posting your add in the FREE catagory .put it under WANTED where it belongs !!!!!! and ONLY post it 1 time like you are suppose to if you cant read the rules have someone read them for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUR ADD IS GETTING OLD MOOOOOOOCHING FOR FREE WOOD.
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