{"id":999,"date":"2009-01-23T08:17:05","date_gmt":"2009-01-23T13:17:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=999"},"modified":"2009-05-06T18:33:08","modified_gmt":"2009-05-06T21:33:08","slug":"ysac-vol-clxxxvi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=999","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. CLXXXIX"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<h2>need female to impersonate old girlfriend<\/h2>\n<hr \/>\n<p>looking for petite\/attractive late 20&#8217;s\/early 30&#8217;s female to impersonate my old girlfriend to get me out of a pickle with my current one&#8230;would require only 10-15 minutes at most<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>\nLeslie sends this one along, saying, &#8220;This one mystifies me.\u00a0 I want to respond just to see what it is he needs someone to do.\u00a0 Clearly, there will be lying involved.\u00a0 What kind of woman would be INTERESTED in doing this, anyway?\u00a0 Given that it&#8217;s listed under &#8220;Etc. Jobs&#8221;, is he paying?\u00a0 What is the going rate for impersonating an ex girlfriend for the purposes of lying to your current girlfriend?\u00a0 Truly a niche market if ever I&#8217;ve seen one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In my mind, he killed his ex-girlfriend and his current girlfriend suspects him of it, and he needs to prove that she&#8217;s still &#8220;alive&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>need female to impersonate old girlfriend looking for petite\/attractive late 20&#8217;s\/early 30&#8217;s female to impersonate my old girlfriend to get me out of a pickle with my current one&#8230;would require only 10-15 minutes at most Leslie sends this one along, saying, &#8220;This one mystifies me.\u00a0 I want to respond just to see what it is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[38,52],"class_list":["post-999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-etc-jobs","tag-humanity-is-doomed","tag-this-can-only-end-badly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=999"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2218,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/999\/revisions\/2218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}