You Suck at Craigslist

Category: personals

  • YSaC, Vol. 234: Spring really brings out the crazy in people.

    Most of this ad is behind a cut because it’s long. The devil in this one is in the details, and are there ever details! Be sure to click to read the entire ad.

    Build a new, rational, primitive but free life w/ me in Alaskas wild – m4w – 27

    WHO

    Me:

    – Status: 27 year old single white male. Never married. No children.
    – Physical: 6’0″ tall, 160 pounds. 21 Body Mass Index. No physical handicaps or allergies
    – IQ: 138 (Informally tested)
    – Financial: $4,500 in unsecured debt. $500 in assets
    – Education: High school diploma, Associate’s Degree. No plans for future formal education
    – Religion: Atheist
    – Psychological: Bites finger nails, drinks a little too much, uses pornography more than would like to. Sought treatment for “sex addiction.”
    – Criminal: One arrest (carrying a concealed weapon without the government’s permission).
    – Demeanor: Serious, sensitive, direct, quiet. Myers-Briggs type: INTJ
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  • YSaC, Vol. 229: Pssst … hey! Wanna borrow a kid?

    This was posted in the m4w personals section:

    Want a baby? Me too! – 28

    I know this may sound odd, but I’m being real. I want a kid. It tax time and I want to pay less and not play the let me borrow your kid game. If you are of age and think you can handle having a kid with me, then hit me up. Maybe we can have a relationship maybe not. We may not even get to that point but lets start with lunch and meet face to face. We can do a verbal and or written agreement about me taking care of our child. I know this seems like a crazy idea, but atleast this is a real honest ad on craigslist. let me know what you think.

    I can’t think of a better reason to have a child than to get a tax break. I mean, they don’t cost anything the rest of the year, so why not? It’s a win-win proposition.

    Actually, if he really wants a kid, maybe this will suffice:

    Child for sale – $100

    Child Mannequin – about 4 ft. tall. Good shape except missing two fingers.

    Maybe he could claim that his “child” is disabled and get an even bigger tax break. And maybe, if he buys enough illegal organs off of Craigslist, eventually he can make a real child!

    Thanks to ekkelly and Maria for the submissions!

  • Update to YSaC, Vol. CLVIII: The mountain WAS made of pure snow after all!

    Hmmmm … Caroline sends along this link to a news story, saying, “This is a follow up to the person “looking for a ski ticket“…she should probably stop looking now.”

    Six arrested in California ski sting

    MAMMOTH LAKES, Calif., Feb. 25 (UPI) — Police say six California residents have been arrested in a sting operation that offered ski-lift tickets in exchange for drugs.

    Mono County sheriff’s deputies told The Orange County (Calif.) Register Wednesday that the suspects were busted after answering an ad posted on Craigslist.com that offered to swap ticket vouchers for the Mammoth Lakes ski area for narcotics.

    Department spokeswoman Shannon Kendall told the Register that the operation netted a pound of marijuana and quantities of cocaine, ecstasy and prescription pills.

    Four Orange County residents and two people from San Luis Obispo and Highland Park were arrested Friday and were in jail Wednesday on various drug-related charges.

    Original news story available here.

    Thanks for the tip, Caroline!

  • YSaC, Vol. 222: Stimulus package needed.

    Help Me… – m4w – 22 (MY pants)

    I am recently laid off from my job and feels like im going no where fast. Im lonely and horny. I would like to find a girl that will give me a bj if it leeds to more that is fine. I just need to get my rocks off. Respond with pics and then I will respond back to you with pics and info. Soooo…..please help me.

    You know the economy is doomed when an unemployed 22-year-old is having trouble finding a girl willing to provide oral services with no strings attached. Back during the Internet Boom, there were free hummers galore. You didn’t even have to ask. Now? How far we have fallen. Oh, the humanity.

  • YSaC, Vol. 221: The 80s called, and they don’t want you back.

    This one’s behind a cut because it’s really, really, really long. Really. In fact, I’m not going to recommend that you read the whole thing — I’m not sure anyone could without having their brain melt — but I’m going to recommend that you at least scan the whole thing. You may find yourself unable to turn away from the train wreck.

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  • YSaC, Vol. 220: Victoria’s Secret is missing this niche market.

    Warning: this post mentions the existence of underwear and some rather specific fetishes involved therein. Possibly NSFW (if you work in a convent), or potentially offensive if you believe in magic protective underwear.

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