Category: events

  • YSaC, Vol. 343: These sound like fine young drunken men.

    Private Beach Rental


    Looking for a private beach to rent for a weekend retreat party. Must be noise friendly. Would like to rent from friday – sunday but would consider Sat-Sun. I’m not looking for a “beach house” in a beach town with uptight controlling town council. The property must have its own private beach on the water with sand without close neighbors. I don’t want Old Lady Neighborhood watch with nothing better to do with her remaining 186 days on this earth, Harry Homeowner Association with a piece of coal up his butt trying to make a diamond, or Miserable Husband with judgemental inlaws on another crappy beach vacation with extended families’ bratty kids forced by the wife; calling the 5Os or Rent a Cops on some mid 20-30 somethings having a good time. email for more details.

    Pete sends this in, with a translation: “My drunken frat brothers and I would like to destroy your beach house, but we don’t want to be arrested, clean up, or have anyone know about it until after we leave. Also, Jimbo will be puking in your sink while Johnny D jumps from the roof into what he thought was a swimming pool, and your pants will later be sued off by his estate. If all of the masochistic homeowners wishing this fate upon themselves would form an orderly line to the right, I will be accepting bids shortly.”

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXXVIII

    1/9-1/20: daughter and friend for sale


    just bring cash alot of it. not that their worth it but i am at the end of my rope car is totaled DAUGHTER fired from subway cause car is totaled pimple on her nose bumped my HEAD was fine before they got here selling totaled car on craigslist.AFTER I FIGURED THE CAMARA OUT FOR 2.5 HOURS, BOYFRIEND NOW ASLEEP COME GET THEM PLEASE!!!!*** 1999 MONTE CARLO GOOD ENGINE MAKE OFFER xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Katie sends this one in, saying, “Honestly, I’m not sure what it means– is she trying to sell her daughter and her daughter’s friend, as the title would suggest? Because her (presumably) teenage daughter got in a wreck and has acne? Or is she trying to sell the car? I just don’t know. And I don’t think I’ll ever know. This listing made me straight up existential.”

    All I can think is that it must have been one hell of a pimple if it was able to total a Monte Carlo just by bumping into it.

    Even stranger: it was listed under “Events”.