YSaC, Vol. 548: It’s all a matter of perspective.
There’s nothing wrong with the text of this ad, other than the over-excitedness of the furniture store:
~*~*~NEW Sofa & Love Seat Sets – Fine SUEDE – GREAT COLORS~*~*~ – $699
BRAND NEW SOFA & LOVE SEAT SETS —– YOUR PICK OF THESE GREAT COLORS!! SETS COME W/ THROW PILLOWS!!!
Then there’s about a dozen pictures of tastefully arranged and decorated living rooms, all with gleaming hardwood floors and perfectly arranged area rugs and decorative bric-a-brac.
But among them is this picture:
“Memo to photo department: please include this recliner from a completely different set into the picture. Don’t bother taking too much time to do it — nobody looks at these that closely.”
I took seventeen seconds and fixed this for them.
Much better, right?
Thanks to the anonymous submitter for this one — I got to trot out my fantastic Photoshop skillz!
*fumbles for solar shield sun glasses* Whew! Great color, if you live somewhere that’s dark six months out of the year. Someone should send this ad to Photoshop Disasters as well, Good thing you stepped in, llama nun! 8)
I did, to see if they wanted to do a joint post. Sadly, I didn’t hear back from them in time.
What’s really freaking me out is that your doll doesn’t have a reflection in the floor – Yikes!
Then again, neither does the recliner itself …
So they’re the undead! All is suddenly clear.
A recliner made of undead suede? I might actually shell out full price for that, instead of being my usual tightwad self.
Not in that shade of radioactive cranberry, though. Going by popular media, the undead suede should be either a gangrenous green or a pale bloodless white tinted slightly with grey. Neither would match my curent ecletic decor, though. Oh, well.
Actually, Sarajean, I meant that the CP dolls were possibly undead. But considering the problems with this picture, infernal ultrasuede is not unlikely either …
Funny you should mention that. I live in Finland, and I actually really like this set. I even love the mini-recliner. I always wanted one of those as a kid, but my parents would never buy me one.
See? There is something for everyone on the innerwebs!
The other thing that amuses me about this picture is that if you look at the reflection of the love seat, there’s a good chance that the picture originally contained a different model loveseat. At the very least, it was a completely different color.
It appears to this amateur that the lighting and shadows are unnaturally going all over the place (and something weird is going on under the coffee table) — to not even mention the bizarre cut & pasted recliner (how much do you want to bet that’s not even the correct scale?).
Um. Not much, since that’s why I posted the ad in the first place. 😉
Are you saying that they’re not trying to sell a half-sized recliner made especially for Cabbage Patch dolls? I’m so confussed now. 😛
There, there, Graham. Do like the rest of us do and have a drink, that’ll make it all better.
Thanks… my ability to relay faux sincerity is falling a little short this morning.
Faux insincerity is even harder.
Touche!
“Great colors” shows that this is a furniture shop that celebrates diversity. Clearly they do not want to fall victim to cries of “Racist!”
Answer the door. Al Sharpton is recruiting.
It had to come up sooner or later. Better to get it over with early on.
Maybe he’d like some chip packs from the dumpster. Of course, he’d have to go in after them. *whispers* Now shut the lid! Get the duct tape!
Not so easy organizing a riot from inside a dumpster, is it, pAl?
Uh oh… did you get his cell phone?
Oooh, what havoc I could wreak with his contact lists. Oh look, he has Twitter!
*goes on Twitter*
BlkPnthr says:
OMG epiphany: only sure way to rid the world of racial tension is to kill myself. Don’t investigate my disappearance. Kthxbai
I know it may be a little premature, but I just want to congratulate you on winning the next Nobel Peace Prize.
Not that this has ANYTHING to do with the thread, but I like the new look HHNF. It’s kinda making me think of Tank Girl…only hotter.
I vote for movie.
Aw, thank you, Meredith! I dunno about ‘hotter’, tank girl is a raving hottie!
Geez, get a room you two!
a
Seriously. Rawr.
Are we talking Tank Girl the movie or Tank Girl the comic?
Well Tank Girl the comic is pretty hot, but I think HH is still cuter. And she blows the chick from the Tank Girl movie away!
I’ve just dug myself in deeper, haven’t I?
Dig, dig Meredith. I’ll just get you a shovel and some long rope for when you need to climb out.
thanks, though. Coming from a woman, a compliment is either the most sincere thing ever or she’s saying that you really look hideous but keep on looking hideous so you won’t be competition.
I think you look Photoshopped.
I rather like the color, and the price isn’t bad. Also, I like the little recliners for the kids! Hell drmk, I’ll take it!
On an unrelated note, I have read all the archives of YSaC and I still don’t get the llama or nun refrences. I see your avatar; is that all there is to it?
Steve-O, it would take litterally seconds to trace the history of the Llamanun and the Ostremu, so in a nutshell, yes. That’s all there is to it. Early on, some of us gazed at drmk’s avatar. While some saw a hooded figure full of wisdom and serenity, some saw a noble beast helping carry the burden of mankind over the tallest of mountains. And so it was our great Web Boss was called Llamanun. We were all really drunk that day. 8)
Speak for yourself, I happened to be huffing paint out of a paper bag. While drinking. But the paint was the primary intoxicant, is what I’m saying. I am drunk now, though. Whee!
*crashes into living room furniture*
Have the Aussie’s won yet? (We don’t get cricket coverage in the long thin land I currently reside in).
The couch set looks quite comfy for a day of cricket-watching, and the colour is certainly an aid in keeping you alert during tea-break.
They haven’t won yet, sweetbiscuit, but it seems to be a foregone conclusion. Between Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke’s 200 and 160 respectively and Pakistan batting (and fielding, earlier) as though all the players were hearing ‘Yackety Sax’ on an endless loop in their heads, thereby not even making enough to avoid the follow-on, a draw would be a remote possibility, maybe. But realistically: yeah, Australia are gonna take this one.
Thanks for that Lareina. Yay Aussies.
Re lareina’s comment, speaking for myself I was probably on a contact high from the people two floors down whose smoke drifts up and gives me the munchies.
It was you who brought the ‘Not tobacco gas mask’, wasn’t it? Your buddy, you say? Your buddy, Lola? Figures.
HHNF, it’s more like if you told me they were the ones who invented it, I wouldn’t be surprised. Tree people, indeed.
How convenient, L, there’s a whole new set of furniture up top for you. Even a chair for your hobbit!!!
Windrose’s last sentence makes a good explanation for almost all of our running gags here, I’d wager.
Ah, nothing like a drinking, betting monk, eh, Isaac?
And besides, nuns are cool. 😀
Yup! I owe my education to a group of them, from grades 2 through 8. Learned a whole bunch besides math and reading and that there academic stuff.
Yeah me too. They were great teachers but I still involuntarily wince when I see a wooden ruler.
Forget the Oxford Comma. It’s that same sentence that makes me feel I’m truly amongst my people.
Why don’t you have a seat over there?
Even though I’ve done nothing wrong, you make me feel dirty.
Don’t sit in the little one. That’s for our 19-year-old decoy.
What are you doing here? What did you mean by this- “You make me feel dirty”?
I was just worried about the tiny chair. It’s so little and helpless looking. I thought someone might come along and take advantage of that little chair…you know, like somebody way too big might try to sit in it. I was just here to warn the tiny little chair.
Uh-huh, you wanted to “warn the chair.” Is that a plastic furniture cover in your bag?
Um, I just had it in my car. I wasn’t going to use it. And this furniture polish wasn’t for the hand pull there, either. I was just going to show it what to be on the lookout for.
I was NOT going to sit on that tiny little red seat, or stroke the soft velveteen fabric. I was NOT going to prop my feet up and rest my arms on the voluptuous padded rests there. Nope, I had the best of intentions.
Well, I should tell you, I am Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC, and we’re doing a story on adults who cruise the Internet looking for little chairs to sit in.
You’re free to go at any time…
Meredith, review the chapter about what paves the road to Heck.
I thought the road to Heck was paved with illegal drugs, alcohol, porn, and the films of Uwe Boll?
And I’ll just be taking the little chair with me.
Drop the chair or you’re getting tased, bro!
Dude. Those dolls creep me out.
Not half as much as Pennywise creeps me out.
At this point, Chris Hansen is creeping me out the most of all…
Oh, I just saw this at the Exploratorium in San Francisco. It’s the room with a slanted floor and walls that looks makes objects appear larger or smaller depending on which side of the room they are on. This ad shows an amazing example of that effect.
Here is the somewhat lame in comparison Exploratorium room: http://exs.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/distorted-room/
And here is a really lame (by any comparison) band photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/darkdaze/2506021972/
Um. I really didn’t notice that the chair was too small until you pointed it out. Why? Because when I was about 15, I kid you not, my mom came home with a couch and chair set that was that small, and proceeded to tell us that it was going in the small room my brother and I used for playing video games in. I guess she figured that since the room was barely a room at all (it was a glorified crawl space, really), the furniture could be tiny. I’m small, so it wasn’t so bad, but my brother is a giant, and the only way he could sit in the chair was with sideways with his legs sticking out at awkward angles. We couldn’t even sit on the floor with our backs against the tiny furniture, because it was so small and light that it would just tip over. And one time, my mom suggested that I sleep on the tiny noncouch when my room was getting painted. That’s a night I’ll never forget…..
Congratulations, Lola, you get another hole punch! And an honorary punch for your straight man, Lost_Compass!
Glad he gets credit, couldn’t have done it without his prompt. Been rather a while since I was at the side, and this is my first since you’ve been punching people. 😉 Thanks!
resume for Lola – to-do list
– add honorary YSaC punch to “achievements”
– skills: cut stuff about show tunes, interior decoration
– job history: research firms she can’t contact- Enron, Circuit City, etc
– photo: look for better one (Clooney? Banderas?)
– go to gym (she has 4th or 5th-floor walk-up)
– write “references” (use different fonts!!!)
l_c,
Nothing wrong with show tunes. (Well, some of them, but not the genre in general.) You can leave that bit in. And interior decorating is OK, too. Even Don Draper was right about that end table.
EXTREME!!! FOREGROUND!!! RECLINER!!!
OK, I’m done being annoying now.
I see, so the closer we get to it, the smaller it appears! That’s SO annoying!
I think mini-recliner is a pretty cool guy. Eh lets people sit on him and doesn’t afraid of anything.
Don’t know if this will work, but here’s the results for the Don’t Suck box from 01/01/2010 to today:
Date Punchee Honorary
1/1/2010 None Meredith, 26 votes
1/2/2010 Mimi
1/3/2010 None Lost Compass, 54 votes
1/4/2010 Ron
1/5/2010 Sarajean80
1/6/2010 Sarajean80 Meredith, Stephanie
1/7/2010 Bianchi Sound
1/8/2010 Lost Compass
1/9/2010 Ed Snyder (accepted by Meredith)
1/10/2010 Mr. White
1/11/2010 woofless
1/12/2010 Irregular Fractal
1/13/2010 littlestowl
1/14/2010 Kanye West
1/15/2010 Sarajean80
1/16/2010 Lola Lost Compass
1/17/2010
Wow. You guys are keeping better track of this than I do! That’s kind of awesome, and kind of scary.
I may be a little drunk. Don’t mind me.
You’ve created a community. How does it feel?
Honestly? Incredible. I’m alternately amazed that anyone would read our silly babblings and … well, thrilled. And honored. And that goes for everyone — folks who comment, and folks who just lurk and read. (Though we hope that the lurkers will start commenting some day!)
Well, keep up the good work — we need you. The English language needs you.
I’ve heard you can lure a Lurker out with a pinecone covered in peanut butter. Maybe we should throw a few around here and on the forums.
Also heard liquor works well, and would probably make for some fantastic first comments.
*sidles out to sniff at the pinecone*
*reconsiders and goes for the liquor instead*
Hi, Miss Jo! Welcome, and please stay. We are all very friendly people here and we did not put any drugs in that liquor. 8)
I started commenting because of the wood davers.
“You wanna make some wood-davers with me? I got pinecones, I got peanut butter! …Marzipan, you gotta get on the train, get on the wood-davers train! Here goes the wood-davers train! It’s takin’ off! It’s a new century!”
I got on the train!
Windrose, we weren…I mean, we didn’t? oops.
I gotta stop taking days off, I always miss the free booze
Seriously, what happened at the meet-up??? No one will talk about it, so I know it was super awesome.
It certainly leaves a lot to the imagination.
I keep meaning to write more about it, but it’s the beginning of the semester and I’ve been swamped.
Kara did an amazing job planning it, and it was great to meet people. There was a video interview, and I’ll post that once it’s finished being edited. Dan and I had a great time.
Ugh. After feeling nauseated and headachy all day, looking at those colors did *not* help.
::finishes soup and gets ready to crawl back into bed::
*hands Addicted a cool compress for her head, and turns off the lights*
Thanks. I’m doing much better today. It helps that today’s post, while confusing, isn’t eye-burning too.
What’s the point of a chair that small? You’d never be able to fit a dead boa constrictor in it.
A kingsnake, maybe?
On second thought, I guess my asp would fit in that chair.
I’ve heard that about you.
My mom always told me that getting one of those chairs would turn me into a lazy asp.
Well, OK — I *can* say that furniture manufacturers make fake little recliner chairs for little kids. Around here they’re sold at Target. And my former psychiatrist (she moved out-of-state — um, actually, I’ve had two of my psychiatrists move out-of-state 🙁 but I’m sure it couldn’t have had anything to do with causation, right??) had a waiting room with one of those tiny kids’ reclining chairs in it. Cracked me up every time I saw the mini-chair, though I never saw a kid ever use it . . . Then, one day, I saw that said chairlette wasn’t there anymore. Of course I had to ask what’d happened, and she said that an adult had sat in it and broken it. 🙁
Anyway. So, uh, that’s what memories the photo triggered for me, heh. But you’re correct in that the photo is all horrible and wrong, and the designer should be attacked by angry Cabbage Patch Kids.