YSaC, Vol. 723: Brain bleach for everyone!
2010 July 10
Used Baby Clothes
Hello, I am a collector of sorts. I am now wanting to collect baby clothes because I love them. Just so you don’t think I’m wierd I’ll tell you I am a forty year old man who is single. These clothes will get a really good home. Know that I will treat them with nothing but dignity. Also I am looking for pacifiers and bottles. Thanks.
Hey, just so you know — the phrase that begins “Just so you don’t think I’m weird” doesn’t actually help your case, Creepy McCreepersen.
Thanks, Lori!
A collector of Baby Clothes?
He must be wanting to leave them all to the Wisconsin Babby Mooseum when his ex-wife comes back and stabs him to death with a large knife.
I always knew those Utahans was a bit off.*
*Actually, of all the Utahans I’ve met, all have been Mormons, and they’ve all been odd in their own special way. Not serial killer odd, just weirdo odd. Like Tyson from Survivor. For example, when one of these acquaintances of mine walks into the Band Room in the morning, the first thing out of his mouth is [massive link].
Just so Astrognash doesn’t look crazy, I deleted the location after the post had gone up. It was, indeed, in Utah.
I think it’s too late not to look crazy in the eyes of everyone here. As… erm… (does Google search, hopes it does not fail him) Jimmy Buffett, I think, once said, “If we weren’t all crazy, we’d go insane.”
You may be right, we may be crazy
but it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for
(and you certainly found one in today’s post)
😉
“Turn out the light,
don’t try to save me.
For all we know, you may be wrong,
but you may be right.”
YSaC – is the right place for all us crazy’s. We prove it with most of our comments.
The crazy is why I’m part of the YSaC fambly!
Silva, please have a door, in fact have many doors, for mentioning a song I actually immediately recognised. I usually have to think a while when people do that.
Could stand to run into a chum with bottle of rhum
(and trying not to drink all night)
Dear everyone:
I fear we may have corrupted our darling Astro! And it is possibly due to Taco’s massive link. Why else would Astro write about his band compatriot that “… the first thing out of his mouth in the morning is a massive link .”
[me-corey (I think)]Replace thing with word.[/corey]
I swear, we’re all corrupted. We ought to build ourselves a town and name it Gutterville.
“We ought to build ourselves a town” – I think one may have already sort-of formed.
It’s the internet …
Astro, you’re brilliant!! Be kinda like Farmville except we could ask folks to help us plant our snark.
Oh – wait a minute, that’s what YSaC is for.
Home sweet home. Isn’t it nice to have a place where we all belong!
I’ve been corrupted since I was Astro’s age. YSaC just gives me a place to set it free!
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
Might need to replace “name” with “avitar.” But it’s the sentiments that count!
Wow, from Billy Joel to Buffett to Gary Portnoy?
We are such a lyrical bunch.
Hums away pleasantly, if interrupted by Yoko Kanno score to GITS:SAC on tv . . .
Ok, I’m lost on the concept here. Why is astrognash crazy and what with the ‘massive link’ ?
As for the OP, please tell me it’s a troll. Can only be a troll!!! Has to be a troll!!!!!!!!!!!
…
*lies in the corner in fetal position, eyes to the wall but closed, weeping*
Nothing weird here at all. We shouldn’t judge too harshly. There but for the grace of our Llama-nun go we.*
*Just kidding! This nut case is orobably one lonely night away from a three-state killing spree. Yikes!
Now Windrose has the Cockney accent!
Yeah, and my super edit powers have been revoked! LOL Serves me right for taking advantage of them.
Windy — does that mean that he really lives near Taco – the serial killer state, not where Astro originally thought (locations are changed to protect the serial killers).
I thing he’s near Ish, in Location.
downtown Ish?
I’m a collector of sorts…
I get this bad feeling. It involves empty babby food jars.
And meat gerberts.
It puts the baby oil on its skin…
*re-reads Silva’s post*
Annnnd total creep out is complete. shudder
I recently finished reading that book. If you think the movie is creepy…*shudder*
why would anyone want to collect “sorts”?
Because it helps you classify your stuffe
Wow. This guy isn’t just a resident of Creepytown, he’s the mayor.
Probably lives in Stalkerville, east of Ish and west of Looneyburg. With a summer home in Watdefukland.
I cannot think of anything that is not disturbingly creepifying about a middle-aged man collecting baby clothes. I think I need to go take another shower.
Yeah. I’m firing up the bleach Jacuzzi at this point. Come on in! The bleach is fine!!!
*blinks repeatedly and rapidly, jaw hanging open*
Until now, I did not know how soothing the phrase “bleach Jacuzzi” could be … mmm, swirling, cleansing chlorine bleach …
Other than that, I got nuthin.’ I will have some caffeine, and come back later (since going back to bed isn’t an option today – and I fear that this would give me nightmares, anyway).
Ooh, maybe a nice ammonia mister over the jacuzzi, the cooling, even, melty burning sensation only magnified by the aromatherapy of the phosgene wafting up where the ammonia and chlorine bleach interact . . .
le Spa de la Tim Burton, perhaps? [g]
Did anyone just just get slapped with a reality check when sarajean defined forty as “middle aged”?
I’m younger than that and have been called middle-aged. I simply choose to believe that whatever age I am, I’m not quite there (a couple of more years, by SJ’s definition) just yet …
Nope, you turn L, and it really is down to how/if you wake up.
Now, I knew the definition of “the hill” had changed when I started expecting the PFK at the counter to call me “sir.”
Gotta jump in on this one….[corey on] I’m older than Capn, will shortly be twice as old as SJ, and I think that middle age really sets in when you decide that you can’t act like a child anymore, can’t laugh at stupid jokes, quit trying to set goals for yourself to strive toward. Yes, I am getting older and realize that my years may be winding down (my dad made it to 85, so I might have another 20 or 25, or maybe not) but I have refused, and will continue to refuse, to let that run my life. If I reach the point where I think I have to “grow up”, I may as well crawl under a rock and die. [corey off]
There was something else I wanted to say, but don’t remember what it was….. damn, I hate it when that happens. Kids….kids on the lawn, where’s my cane! I said, “QUIT WHISPERING AND MUMBLING WHEN YOU TALK TO ME>”
What…??
oh come now, surely everyone knows….age is relative
Bridgete, just throw a few gee-gaws in there and you’ll be fine. In my case, my earliest memory was from the time I was three and we hid in a ditch because of a tornado at our trailer park. But I figure I can lop off about six months for the time shortly thereafter that my brother knocked me off the porch and I landed on my head, a few more for the time I was working at JC Penney’s and dropped a Tiffany lamp on my face, a few weeks for every time I’ve run face-first into a plate glass window. See, even with the early memories, there has to be a LOT of stuff we’re not remembering, and we’re only as old as we remember, right? So I figure my brain damage is keeping me young.
Hey, I’m getting there myself! (I turned thirty this year.) The average life expectancy in the US is around 78 years, so forty is middle-aged, statistically speaking.
Nope. See, few of us remember the first five years of life, so we can lop five years off of our age. There fore, I’m actually 32 and a solid seven years from middle-age.
And I’m sticking to that.
Kae, how does that work for people like me? I have memories from when I was two. Okay, I have a single memory that my mom confirmed happened when I was two. Then I have a few from three, and several from four and five. I want to be able to lop off 5 years like everyone else!
Seriously — since I have kids that are 1/2 your age SJ — middle age moves up by the decades. (I didn’t even have kids until I was older than your are SJ)
For me it’s more the fact that thirty to thirty five took half as long to happen as twenty five to thirty, so forty is just looming there in the very near future.
I’m very much not middle aged…yet.
It’s scientific fact that as you get older, your perception of time speeds up (except at work, I’ve found, there the time drags as slowly as ever).
Which is why (on the other end of the spectrum) little kids get bored so easy
“It’s scientific fact that as you get older, your perception of time speeds up”
I think that’s cuz of the black hole that forms in your brain…
Silva’s right, there was a Radio Lab piece on NPR a while back talking about this.
Actually, my work days have not been dragging since shifting from a “career” to a “job” recently. There’s something pleasant about leaving work at work. And Silva, I deal with UPS business services regularly (I swear I don’t ship bees) and they are probably the nicest customer service reps I’ve talked to in a long time.
Gotta make a move to a
Town that’s right for me
Town to keep me from movin’
Keep me from runnin’ from the authorities
Well, I won’t talk about it
Won’t talk about it
Won’t talk about it
Won’t talk about it
Won’t talk about it, Won’t talk about it
won’t Talk about my fetish
Gotta move in
Gotta move in
Gotta move in
Won’t you take me to
Creepytown
Won’t you take me to
Creepytown
Won’t you take me to
Creepytown
Won’t you take me to
Creepytown
oooh, many doors for you HamCan
Gee, I don’t know – I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with this ad. Think about it written in a different way.
‘Hi, I’m a collector of sorts. I’m looking for used womens’ clothing, lingerie, underwear, shoes, etc. Just so you don’t think I’m weird, I’m a 40 year old man, 5 foot 4 inches, 297 pounds. Clothing will be treated with great respect and cherished. I occasionally will wear it when I go out to cruise bars in (location). I think cleanliness is next to godliness, and desire your knickers next to my…’
OK, so now you understand that there’s nothing strange about someone wanting to reuse and recycle.
(I’m gonna go regurgitate….)
Brain Bleach cocktails are available, free of charge, out on the deck. (Next to the jacuzzi).
I’d be creeped out if it wasn’t for the fact that you previously revealed (pun intended) that you pedal about in red nighties so it seems normal.
What? – I haven’t peddled red nighties since my days as a haberdasher.
*that’s a fun word – wanders away muttering “haberdasher, haberdasher, haberdashererererer, heehee….*
Ooh – SJ! Hadn’t read your comment about anything more creepy than a 40 year old collecting babby things when I posted.
Did I change your mind??
Nope, still nothing creepier. A grown man wearing”recycled” ladies’ clothing, while extremely odd, is still not as creepy as the same man “collecting” baby clothes for an unknown purpose. Whole new level of creepy.
(My level of weirdness may be higher than some;I do actually know someone, a close friend from high school, who regularly goes out in ladies’ clothing, but he buys it off the rack, not “recycled”. Looks better in a dress than I do, in fact.)
I think the creepiest part about that is that he looks better in a dress than you do.
He has better legs than I do. Plus I almost never wear dresses so he has more practice.
Last weekend I saw a drag queen who definitely had better legs than mine. It happens more than you might think. (And my legs aren’t bad.)
I’m always jealous whenever I see a guy who has nicer nails than me.
True story – The mutual friend that MrB and I were helping move when we met does drag and has won several competitions at a state and national level. He looked a hell of a lot better in a dress than I do. He was in our wedding party and teased me relentlessly for not letting him be a bridesmaid. I would have but some more *ahem* traditional family members (not on the bride’s side) would have definitely freaked out. That and I couldn’t have him looking better than I did on the big day. 😉
I have yet to see a drag queen with better legs than mine. I’ve seen a few with great legs…just not better than mine. I really lucked out in the leg department though.
I developed an extreme dislike for a friend of mine in college when he did Rocky Horror Picture show and looked better in fishnets than I did. The years of bickering, I could take. Hans having better legs…nope. Wasn’t to be tolerated.
SJ – me too, (well, not me, actually) – I know a number of folks who look “Waunderrrrfull” in drag, and they are marvelous friends and companions.
Can we put this guy in the baby eating chair?
Oh – and for Laurelhach:
EX-TERM-INATE!!!
Anyone else suspect that perhaps this guy is the baby eating chair?
*throws self into lake of brain bleach*
And looks like Fat Bastard…
“Git in mah belly!”
Why are you exterminating for LaurelHach? Or are you actual exterminating LaurelHach so you can take their place?
Have I missed something again?
Our favorite Dalek in a tutu is gallivanting about California tidal pools for approximately the next week.
A metal being traipsing around corrosive fluids being reasonably equivalent to bungee-jumping by prairie apes or such similar.
I see,
so
mythose Nine and Ten posters are safe to come out to play without being attacked then? at least for a few days.hmm, you’re right about the rust though, there’ll be a hell of a clean up job when she gets back I should think.
Dev, I’m playing the role of Laurelhach while she’s away. If you get the chance to look at yesterday’s posting it will make more sense.*
*This may not actually true.
I see, now it all makes sense, well, maybe, sort of….erm what was I talking about?
for you Manda, it’s not great but it’s the best I could come up with on short notice and with only a tiny avatar to work from
http://i727.photobucket.com/albums/ww274/develish1/general%20public%20album/manda.jpg
Today’s comments:
There is no way he is going to fit into those baby clothes.
If he didn’t want to sound creepy, he should have lied and said he was married and had a baby.
Continuing my comments from yesterday:
The Twilight fangirls in a fast food place commercial may have been for BurgerKing, not McDonalds. Doesn’t really matter, I guess.
I uploaded the pictures of my dog to deviantart, you should be able to see them now- http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2tnxvf
I agree; it would have been easy to invent a child and wife, ’cause there’s a really good chance he has neither, and then we wouldn’t all be sitting here wondering what he’s doing with the baby clothes and shuddering.
(I like the puppy picture with the deelyboppers!)
Since he’s a collector of sorts, perhaps his last collecting spree included several garden gnomes and now wishes to dress them up for tea parties and use the pacifiers to play daddy dearest.
That… doesn’t make it any less creepy
Just so you don’t think I’m weird, I wasn’t implying anything can make it less creepy.
perhaps they’re to dress his dolls in?
ok, did that make it better, or worse?
brain bleach over here please
His hyper-realistic baby dolls carefully painted to look just like newborns. You’ve got to wonder about the people who collect those, too.
my niece has a couple of those that my grandmother bought her. Then again, my niece is not only female, she’s also under 12.
Well, adding “single” to 40 y/o man who collects babby clothes is a bit redundant.
Would seem to suggest that his first dates are all “speed” dating, right after the “Oh, I collect babby clothes, what do you do?”
I love the pictures! It may be my current state of mind, but they don’t seem that strange to me. All of our animals get their pictures taken with whatever the current deranged fashion state is around this house, which include Christmas decorations, graduation out fits, bathing suits, halloween costumes, shoes, earrings, hats and any fashion accessories my daughter deems necessary.
Good to know I’m not the only one to dress up my pet for the sake of a silly photo.
My dog actually really liked the scarf. She likes things around her neck. you can hold out a new collar and she’ll walk up and stick her head in. She also really likes blankets.
The antenna she wasn’t thrilled with. Hats likewise.
We had a wonderfully cooperative dog when I was growing up. There are myriad photos in old family albums of the dog in the back of the station wagon, dressed by me in whatever hat/blanket or towel/sunglasses combo was available at the time.
Cats? If you manage to get something on a cat, their facial expression says “I know where and when you sleep.” I don’t bother dressing my cat.
When I was much much younger (7 or 8 ) I had a cat who would let me put a doll dress on her. She would also let me put her in the doll’s highchair and give her treats, which is probably why she tolerated the whole dress-up thing.
Lola — how did you get Midnight? Give me back my cat!!!!!! (Maybe it’s not Midnight. Midnight has a hot pink collar with rhinestones; also complements of my daughter.)
edit – I forgot to add the pink heart with her name and our phone number on it….
Artsy, that’s Seb. He’s *definitely* a boy (so, no pink), and doesn’t like wearing anything, including collars (he’s always indoors, so that’s fine). If you put a collar on him, he scoots around backwards, presumably trying to “back out” of it.
He also has a white patch on his throat that is just outside of the picture, or I’d think Brigete’s cat was mine, too, when I see her avatar.
Severus tries to “back out” of collars too. He’s also indoor only. In fact, he hates outside. It’s kind of funny, he actually runs away from the open door, rather than curiously looking out like most cats. He used to do the curious looking thing, but after the long drive across the country to get to Boston, he decided he hated outside. I think it was all the time in the moving truck.
Pretty much all the cats except Simon (^him^) have tried to get out and have succeeded to various degrees, but we are out in the country where the can see all sorts of tempting squirrels and birds through the windows. Firefly, Fearless, and Nikki (Mom’s cat) have made it to the back deck, usually squeezing through when we are trying to maneuver a laundry basket of either freshly washed or just dried clothes through; Firefly has made it the farthest (all the way to the woods), but Nikki got out the front door once and spent about two days huddled under the front porch. Escape attempts have dropped dramatically since I started carrying a spray bottle in my clothespin bucket, though.
Help me out, I couldn’t find the dogs. I may have been distracted by your pretty drawing though.
try this link?
http://silvanoir.deviantart.com/art/Fun-with-Fawn-170758203
a set of 3 photos (not.a.drawing) of my dog in alien antenna, a blanket, and a scarf
I was actually thinking the commercials were probably Burger King. There’s a BK right next door to my bar prep class, so a lot of people have been coming to class with BK cups, which have Twilight stuff all over them.
Just so you don’t think I’m weird, I’ll be too busy having a tea party with my cat to comment today.
Just so you don’t think I’m having a tea party, I’ll be busy being weird to comment with my cat today.
Yes, Not Bacontini busy wit de women wit de cats he see here. Oh Not Bacontini is being not weird wit dem when dey make Not Bacontini so happy. Yes, de more tea de cat-women has, de more Not Bacontini love dem.*
*I’m not quite myself today, you see. A bit under the weather, if you will. And then, well…
…I blame Grampdaddy! Impersonation clearly comes all too easily to him!
Not.Astro – maybe it was the storm last night!
Could be. We had some pretty close lightning strikes, the kind where the thunder is nearly immediate.
Bianchi, how does he pick up the teacups with no opposable thumbs? I ask because … ehrm.
Because mine has the same challenge …
That’s where bendy straws come in handy.
You mean they’re not just good as snorkels?
Straws, bendy or otherwise, in the wrapper, “skitter” and “scritch” across wood floors and are great pouncing, batting, and biting fun.
Even better if they smell like the cheesburger in the paper bag That! Is! Not! Being! Shared!–O the Felinity!
LOOK! STRAW! 20#, three foot, judo-leap[thump!]*-chop-disemboweling-kicking!
_____________
*Yes the cat weighs as much as four 5# bags of flour; he’s also 18″ from hips to shoulder, 2.75 hands at the shoulder as well, and casually leaps 20-24″ from the floor.
Just so you don’t think I’m having a cat, I’ll be too busy having a comment to tea party today.
Just so you don’t think I’m weird…wait, what was I saying? Damn kids.
*shuffles off to the freezer muttering about vodka and tea parties*
…
wait, what?
I think I just divided by zero ag
As long as we are being totally off topic…
The TV keeps playing the class action suit ad for people that have gotten “mesothelioma”
Am I the only one that thinks this sounds like a disease that only Jar Jar Binks could catch?
Yup, I knew I was the only one…
*Takes more medication*
I’ll be too busy repairing the climbing tower Fearless managed to break this morning. (She tried to climb to the top and it snapped like a twig. I guess she’s getting a bit big for it.)
Noooooooooo!!! you have a landmark now. The leaning tower of Fearless.
Just think of the tourist dollars…
Just so you don’t think I’m weird… oh, hell, you all know I’m weird by now, don’t you? Or possibly a small bear.
I worry more when people don’t think I’m weird.
me too,
after all it’s taken years of hard work to reach this standard of weirdness, I’d hate to think I’d wasted all that effort.
Yep, this is the only place I presume to fit in; and never worry about “weird” as a pejorative.
Completely off topic but semi relevant to the corey topic the other day: Last night while cleaning the bathroom I realized that I might have a slight minty-ness addiction. In my cupbords I currently have: Mint shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, window cleaner and peppermint essential oil. The shampoo and conditioner I’ve been using for many years, but I don’t recall having had this much mintyness pre-minty shell.
Um, you’ve been coreyfied?
Yes, but I smell terrific.
:sniff-sniff:
Mmmm… You kinda smell like Altoids.
*sniff*
she’s right, that is good
*Furiously hacking into the diaper services network and changing the ,deliver dirty diapers to address, to Sparkies*
Lets see how he likes a few semi-truck loads of “used baby clothes” in his driveway.
I was wondering exactly how used these clothes had to be.
Maybe he just likes doing laundry?
well if that’s the case I can probably send him a list of people who’d be glad of the help, although they would want everything back afterwards.
Probably wouldn’t want it back once he’s through with them.
I can’t come up with a scenario that makes this whole situation uncreepy. Degrees of creepy, yes…but they all still seem one missed dose of lithium away from something truly, truly bad happening.
I’m damaged goods. My first thought wasn’t, “What in the heck is wrong with this guy???” It was, “He spelled ‘weird’ wrong.” Though something related to “Wtf” was a close second.
I thought “he spelled weird wrong” and “WTF” at roughly the same time.
The single man from Utah will not pose.
Proudly proclaims I collect baby clothes.
He thinks he’s not weird.
For this he’ll be jeered.
‘Cause on YuSAC that’s the way that it goes.
There once was a man from Salt Lake City
His clothes he preferred itty bitty
He posted an ad
Claiming he’s not so bad
But at YSaC he’s known to be shitty
thrifty…….not sh^&*y
Nothing to add, just a Gravatar check.
Ditto.
Yay! It worked!
Awwwrrr!
*is endeared to the avvie*
Now I have one for each of my babies!
I’ve just changed mine, per your inspiration. Haven’t had a cat for a bit …
Awww…
So much cuteness! *squee*
Squee overload! Too…much…cute!
I should probably update mine really, but I do rather like this one and my cats don’t sit still often for me to get more pics
Y’know, this could almost be overload for a lurker trying to de-lurk
(ugh, that is a horribly-constructed sentence) who might gain a false assumption
that we all have Feline, Not.A.Lion super-identities.
you mean we don’t?
I don’t
know what
you mean 😉
Who says I don’t?
I’m about to quote someone, but first it needs some background:
The person I’m going to quote is an administrator on a forum who was verbally (textually?) abused by a troll who assumed several different identities over a couple months. Finally, she got fed up over constantly banning one account after the other, and let us, the members of the forum, do the unthinkable: troll right back. Her instructions were to keep it in the threads said troll started, and to post LOLCats that made fun of the troll. And now, for the quote:
“MORE [freakin’] CATS!”
[word corey] In law school (contracts, mostly), I was taught that the word “verbal” actually means both oral and written speech. It is more frequently used in the context of oral speech, but generally it just means using words to express something. Especially in the context of describing verbal abuse, such as here, it is perfectly appropriate to use it as a descriptor for both oral and written attacks. [/corey]
Also, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has been reminded of something from a non-YSaC community and wanted to tell everyone else.
Which reminds me, I still have the graphic I made to post there. It’s quite useful in troll-based situations, so I’m linking to it here, in case anyone ever wants it.
http://i50.tinypic.com/xp10fq.jpg
For variety, Cocker Spaniels. Ms. Bailey is on the right, and the former (sadly missed) Ms. Sophie is on the left.
They would not wear any costumes, although Ms. Bailey does a wonderful Eeyore impression.
well if we’re comparing, this is (or more accurately was, sadly) Bruce, hubby’s Welsh Springer Spaniel
damn it! wrong avatar *sigh*
or maybe not, my browser isn’t playing nice tonight
“Hello, I am a collector of sorts.”
That must mean he is out of sorts at the moment?
Ugh, did a mental double-clutch (and may need a transmission shop)
Is Sparky suggesting he’s met more serious babby clothes collectors,
so he’s only a dabbler or dilettante at this?
I mean, really, I am a collector of book, of sorts. Not in that I search out unique 1st editions, but that I tend to buy almost everything an author writes. But not matched by publisher, or hc/sc, or the like.
I wonder if he’d be interested in a potentially lethal baby bouncer.
I don’t understand what everyone is up in arms about. He collects baby clothes just as though they were Pokémon (gotta catch them all.) He’s probably in his bedroom right now, surrounded by baby outfits pinned to the wall, drooling over the empty spot where one day the rare prized Sailor baby outfit-complete with matching socks and naval cap-will be. Most of us have had that phase, right?
oddly enough, I somehow managed to bypass that particular phase.
usually it’s fun to pick on one or two thing wrong with an ad, and go for it. with this though I’m struggling to find anything right with it.
Add that to the neck problems I’m having today and I may need lots more coffee, very very soon.
My sympathies for the neck woes–not much that seems to work all too often, short of anesthesia.
I know, it’s one of those “slept with head at an odd angle” things, although I woke up at a perfectly normal one. I’ve taken some painkillers, but they’re not helping much yet.
Was the lower four cervical vertebrae and left scapuleu-deltoid region for me today, but hardwood smoke (hickory and mesquite) seem to have set that in abeyance.
Which is one of those odd idiopathic aspects of “cervical spasm.” A person might think that bending, pouring charcoal, stopping at grill, soaking hardwood chinks, scrubbing the grill grate, hauling platters of food in and out, that all that might increase the strain and aggravate the condition.
But it didn’t. Not even the “well, had an entire bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon” ‘didn’t’ either (only the two black beer with supper).
No bets on tomorrow, though. (If only I could convince the cat to walk on my shoulders in the mornings . . . )
He could have a collection of dolls that he wants to dress up…
Nope, still not any less creepy.
Unless they are possessed dolls that are telling him to collect baby clothes.
ok, now I’m having Chucky flashbacks. *shivers*
Who let all of the cats in here? Astro! Are you dividing by zero aga
My first thought was that this guy was one of those “adult babies” but then I realised that the baby clothes wouldn’t fit him. Then he mentioned that he wanted bottles and pacifiers and I thought maybe he is one and he’s using the baby sized clothes as inspiration to make his own adult sized versions. Then I decided that there is something very, very wrong with my brain to think this way and I put the brain bleach on to boil.
I saw one of those adult baby guys once, wandering down the street in NYC wearing nothing but a large diaper. Why I love NYC: nobody paid the slightest bit of attention to him.
bleach! BLEACH!! NOW!!!
I will be in New York next month, could you please ask your adult babies to take that weekend off?
SWM, 40s, into collecting baby clothes, seeks SWF….
SWM, 40s, into collecting baby clothes, seeks WTF….
Seeks BBF (Blurry Blue Female) for NO touching sex.
Seamstress skills preferred.
Maybe it’s a real baby that is lying about his age.
Just thinking out loud here.
Or a Munchkin that’s trying to save on his clothing bill…
Either way works for Denny.
This.ad.is.creepy.
Those real life newborn dolls are disturbing.
Those dolls made from photographs of your child with an outfit that matches your child’s clothes are a whole other level of sick.
Let’s not even start on Resuci-Annie, well intentioned though she might be.*
Oooops. Looks like I awoke from my post-coffee crash nap too soon. Is there an extra slice of coffee left over?
*[CPR Corey] I respect the value of CPR certification and am a card-carrying CPR certified human. I hope never to use said knowledge, certainly not on a sparky who collects babby clothes.[/CPR Corey]
Sadly, being CPR certified means that you may, on a rare occasion, be called upon to perform CPR on a total stranger (sparkcase is always a possibility). All you can do is make a wish, do the job and use copious amount of beverage-quality alcoholic spirits to rinse post-treatment.
[legal corey] There is no duty to rescue, even if you’re certified in rescue efforts, unless it’s in the scope of your employment and you’re actually on duty at the time. Even doctors have absolutely no duty to do anything if they encounter someone in need of medical assistance and they’re not on duty (and “on call” does not count). If, however, you choose to initiate a rescue effort because you have experience, then you have a duty to complete the rescue effort because the person you chose to start helping may have relied on you to their detriment. [/corey]
Ooh, someone’s been studying for the bar exam!
17 days! Ack!
*commence panic mode*
Oh, yeah, [certifications corey] the business of liability while certified is complicated.
Say a person took a CPR class a decade ago. If they render assistance and break a rib doing chest compressions, they only need meet a “reasonable” standard of care (and have “Good Samaritan” protections in many states).
Not so much if you are waiting on your test results for EMT or Paramedic or the like.
This is a bane for those of us in OEM/CERT operations.
Shoot, I’ve taken to not merely not carrying a full Unit Three bag, but picking and choosing where I go with a Unit One bag (and the contents of that latter have been audited a couple times, too.)
But, I’ve this unkind spot in my heart for those willful and knowing practitioners of barratry, too.
[/corey]
[possible override of legal corey] The Good Samaritan Act (as I understand it) says that you can not be held liable for any potential injury/ injuries either temporary or permanent, or death, arising from your good-intentioned, non-official attempts to aid a person in any manner of distress. This would include (but not limited to) medical treatment, rescue attempts involving moving a person, extrication, etc. [/…legal corey]
In other words, you can’t get in trouble for trying to help someone. I believe it would be virtually impossible to hold someone responsible for someone being injured or dying because you stopped doing CPR, and yes you are correct, you don’t have to do anything either especially if they’re Spark-like! eeeww! Skanky!
I as yet cannot fathom that my fingers actually typed “eeww!” as wel as “Skanky!”
Industrial Brain Bleach, please, and make it a double…
[more legal corey] The Good Samaritan statutes vary from state to state. No state is required to have any such statutes, although I believe all states have at least something. However, some states, like Massachusetts, limit the protection to very narrow categories. Massachusetts only protects doctors, nurses, physician’s assistants, police, firefighters, and on-duty EMTs. So, in Massachusetts, CPR certification or not, you’re liable for any and all injuries sustained during CPR.
That said, even if you have Good Samaritan protection, the duty to complete the rescue doesn’t go away. Now, the duty to complete the rescue doesn’t mean you have to continue forever. The standard is “reasonable under the circumstances.” If an objective reasonable person, under the circumstances, would stop, then you can stop. This would probably be if you’re absolutely exhausted (but probably only truly exhausted would count), if the EMTs arrive (I hope you called 911 unless it was unreasonable to try to make the call, otherwise that would be a negligent rescue effort too), or if it’s been 5 minutes with no progress, since that’s when they say that you’ve done all you can. Or, of course, if a dangerous situation comes along in the middle of your efforts and you have to save your own life, because the laws aren’t going to hold you to a duty to sacrifice your own life for the sake of another, that’s an unreasonable trade-off. [/corey]
A note: I’m not saying I agree with the extent of liability you may incur for merely trying to rescue someone. As a former lifeguard, I find it rather appalling that you can be held liable for wrongful death if you “unreasonably” stop your rescue efforts. You’d think that any attempt to help someone shouldn’t incur liability (as you said above). But, that’s the way tort law works.
I went back and saw you said that you believe it would be impossible to hold someone responsible for injuries or death for stopping CPR efforts. This is half-true. For one thing, people aren’t terribly likely to sue you for trying to rescue someone. Despite the notion that this is a litigious society, people don’t really sue for all the things that are actionable under tort law. If for some reason they do sue you, the only thing this area of tort law really means is that you can’t get the suit dismissed for failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted. Technically, relief COULD be granted if a jury found that you were unreasonable in stopping. But all you have to do is go in and argue that you were reasonable. No matter how much law the judge tries to explain to the jury, they’re going to be pretty sympathetic to the guy who tried to rescue someone and just happened to fail despite his best efforts.
Odd society this, that litigious action be taken for affording aid as well as none. “How much for that?”
I’ll not be so quick in action; not fear of life but purse!
Wooo, I got a submission posted! Of course, I’m on vacation and missed most of the snarkage, but I still feel special :-p
I’m on vacation too! I’m betting there’s a growing crowd that can’t wait till I return to work!
😛
I b e l i e v e a h u g e p a r t o f m y p r o b l e m i s t h i s w i r e l e s s k e y b o a r d . All of one’s keystrokes must be flawlessly executed lest they become quite irreparably tainted.
The time allotment for flaw-corrections seems more than adequate to effect necessary repair.
But, is there any r o o m f o r e r r o r ?
Apparently, yes.
Minimal at best.
It’s ok, I’m listening, if at no idea of the time removed
0400
Merely random experimentation.
Anomolius. . . Anommmomos. . . Anom, I think this is your first time in the Don’t Suck Box, right? I hope to learn to spell your name before the next time! Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Wisconsin!
WindRose – Ouch! Thank you so much. Yes, it was my first time in the box, so feeling chuffed!
If this guy really wanted, he could probably get all the used baby clothes he wanted for a few quarters at a yard sale and not have to share his shame with the entire internet. Just sayin’. I’m guessing he hasn’t thought of (or tried) that yet.
alex, it seems to be a common thread on Craigslist that these rational ideas never occured to the posters. Maybe some rare* form of dementia?
*very common.
whatever would make anyone think that you could be WEIRD? its not like you keep your dead mother’s clothes and dress up in them and kill strangers who visit your motel, or anything. no, just treasuring baby clothes and pacifiers, what could be wrong with that?
ewwwwww.
From the future: it occurred to me this might be Memaw and her son collecting clothes for their little pet-cast religious dramas. What do you think?