YSaC, Vol. 991: One art, please!
CHAULK ART OF DEATH – $15000
for salke is a black chaulk artwork of man of death. it is 18 x 20 and looks like a man decasying in his years. selling for 15,000 for a bonus i will through in a house in [location] absoultely free this is not a joke this is real get your self a piece of art. unable to show photo due to phot camera not responding xxx-xxx-xxxx. one of a kind art work
Somewhat surprisingly, this was not in Detroit. Actually, in Detroit you can buy houses for less than $100, so $15,000 would get you a pretty nice pad. Granted, you wouldn’t also have a black chalk drawing of Death if you bought a house in Detroit; it would probably be just a white chalk outline.
I’m inordinately amused by the “absoultely free” — do you think that’s a portmanteau of absolutely and soul? Because if so, that’s kind of deep. Also, I’d like to think that the reason the camera wasn’t responding is because Death, like vampires or ocelots, can’t be photographed.
Thanks, Jenny!
I think the camera may have been adopting the time-honoured ‘ignore it and it’ll go away’ method of conflict avoidance.
“You want me to take a picture of that thing?? Uh, no, sure, it’s amazing, I mean, I never seen a painting made of chalk and caulk before, that’s uh, that’s real original. What do you call that? Oh, chaulk? Well, that’s, uh, that’s real clever, yeah. I just gotta.. ooh hey look at my wrist. I’ll be right back, just gonna check something, um, over… here”
*sound of tiny tripod feet disappearing into the night*
Umm, Jen, I don’t think the Tripods are exactly what you might call tiny. More like gighugic.
No, but the feet are relatively tiny. Well, except on Mars. Never mind.
For some reason, this is the first thing that comes to mind when I read Sparky’s elegant writing style.
Aw, look. An attempt at English. How adorable.
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”
“Ahh, matches!”
Not even clicking on the link (because I know it’s blocked here) I’m just going to assume that it has something to do with hot bullets of shotgun…
to die
HOUSE FOR SALE – $15000
for salke is a house. it is a 2bedroom, 1 bathe, 1 poultrygeist house and comes with a artwork. selling for $15000 for a bonus i will through in an artwork of a decasying man in his years. painting will not leave the house, no matter how hard i try, i have given it away and sold it, it always returns, just like owls. this is not a joke this is real get your self a house and artwork. unable to show photo, cameras dont work in the house
disclaimer- “man in his years” is slang for man in his birthday suit…
I want a poultrygeist! I would build it a haunted chicken coop and use its spectral eggs to make ectoplasmic omelets. Maybe throw a few at that uppity Casper the next time he floats past my house.
Hey, I think I read that book. Chicken Soup for the Immortal Soul.
“Chicken Splat for the Immoral Soul”?
Isn’t that on the inter-web discount rack at Barney & IgNoble?
I hate it when my phot camera doesn’t respond. It just lays there looking up and glaring at me.
Well, that’s what happens when you call it phot. It sulks.
Well, unlike Gagh I prefer my Pho quite unresponsive.
I’m rather happy if it just sits in its bowl and awaits being eaten.
I’m also quite of the preference that my Pho be quiet in the bowel, too.
Well you know my name is Salke
And the things I draw come true
Oh the pictures take me, take me over
The Styx river with you
Magic Chalk! I always wanted some.
*snort*
MAGIC!
I could use a magic pecil as well… I mean, who couldn’t?
But the chalk would be more useful.
It’s the lovely death house chaulk death art death painting OF DEATH!
And a nice hot cup of CaCO3
Just be careful around vinegar or an ascorbic acid solution <G>
But that gives it that nice foamy head that holds the marshmallows!
**raises finger as if about to speak.**
**lowers finger**
Hey, y’all in the corner, move over.
(Young’un, you might wiki the formula for calcium carbonate, some of which is in the hills around you.)
Times are tough for Dorian Grey…………….
Have you seen the price of oil these days? I’m not surprised he’s had to cheap out with chalk.
How bad is this “art” that you have to throw in a house for someone to want it?
If you were the wife of Newt Gingrich, what would it have taken for you to be okay with the idea of seeing him naked on a regular basis?
(He mostly comes out at night. Mostly.)
Depends on how you define “regular”. Once a year, I probably could get by with a bottle of bourbon and a paper sack. Any more often than that would require the addition of high-grade pharmaceuticals.
Take a gander of this pic of Newt and his wife. She looks like she’s having a stare-down with HYPNO DOG. Seeing Newt naked might be the least* of her problems.
http://me-politicalrant.blogspot.com/
*or the source of them
And that, boys and girls, is why you shouldn’t get botox from some guy in the Kmart parking lot.
Ugh, I remember that pic. I had a hard time deciding between “Psychotic break in progress” and “Stepford wife.”
No, you should get your Botox at Walgreens, just like your Pap smear and breast exam!!!
Don’t do that. I haven’t had any coffee slices this morning.
Could be motion picture “art”…
“Black Chaulk down”
Sparky is not throwing in a house, he’s going to “through” in a house. I think that means you get to tour a house. Just be careful, since Spark likes to take the tour straight to the bedroom and show you his “art.”
I mean, it’s not even scratch and sniff.
Is the chalk art actually IN the house, or is it drawn on the sidewalk outside? Because if it’s the latter, won’t Death just get washed away in the next rain?
Sure, Location is going through a depression in property values right now, but it’s bound to turn around soon. And that painting is priceless (or should be) so you are getting a great deal.
*phone call* Okay, Sparkiangelo, I plugged the goods on YSaC. Send me my payment.
I had some brand spankin new snark, but then I clicked on the link for homes in Detroit, and now I’m all distracted. Are there ANY jobs up there? Because for those prices, I think my boyfriend and I would seriously consider a move. Those prices are less than a year of basement living here in Maryland, and the “average” home price is 250K, if you can find it.
Oh, wait, yes, we were discussing chalk drawings of Death, weren’t we? I’ll get back to you on that.
*Edit: Chaulk, not chalk.
SURE there are jobs in Detroit! You have to work full-time at: not getting dragged into an abandoned building and raped, keeping your car in your possession and repainting over the gang tags graffitied on your house.
I’ve always wanted to live in a real life Thunder Dome!!!
I got caught up in browsing those houses too! Some of the $25k ones had some lovely period tile in the baths as well as great windows and original fireplaces. However, I caught myself checking out the backyards and garages for dogfighting dens. I think I’ve watched too much Animal Cops: Detroit.
And that, children, is what is wrong with tv, ‘the youth’ and society, today.
Sparky…what a Chaulk salker.
Try saying that five times fast.
That
That
That
That
That..was easy!
Brat
Brat
Brat
Brat
Brat… was Hammy
Hammy is dog. Dog not brat. Brat is sausage. Dog like sausage. We are what we eat. Hammy is brat.
/Need more caffeine.
I think I pushed her button.
Without even buying her dinner?
Scandalous!
But I gave you some of “that”
I’d say you gave her ALOT of that.
Hammy gave me ALL the that.
As a side note, seeing my post reading ‘scandalous’ coupled with my owl avatar has given me unbelievable giggles for some reason.
Awwww, you had all of the that? I was planning on packing it for lunch tomorrow…on second thought, maybe not. This will suffice.
I’m partial to a smidgeon of here and there.
I ate everywhere one time, but I had diarrhea for days afterwards.
We are gonna get a lot of traffic today for the box entry, if people are searching for those bands. Good work, LimeLolly!
The 80’s…I survived them with my headbands, jellies and Cabbage Patch Doll.
Jellies!
I survived them with Transformers (Go Bots were for sissies), pastel shirts from the Miami Vice collection, and parachute pants.
The 80’s, I survived them.
Results not all in yet as to whether or not I survived the 80s. Try again later.
I have a shoebox of Garbage Pail Kids…
I did not exist as even an idea in the eighties.
[chronological aside]
Last week, as my town slid into Finals ahead of Summer’s student doldrums no students, huzzah³), was quiet in my haunts. In one of those, a young lady was exuberantly celebrating becoming 21.
Which caused be to notice my jacket, which is 25 years old. Then to reflect that my commission is 26. To then have to bend brain about the notion that I’ve been legally drinking for 32 years, which was longer than any in the bar same myself had been alive.
[/being an antique]
On second read, I have to wonder: Does the house come with the chaulk art, or is the chaulk art ON the house? Is this someone’s brilliant idea to sell a vandalized foreclosure???
“Bold Artwork by modern street artist!!! Comes *with **quirky two bedroom in neighborhood just ripe for growth!”
*Art is unable to be removed from walls or repositioned.
**Quirky/interesting/lopsided/burned out
If you act now, Sparky will also throw in the transient that sleeps in the bathtub.
Get it right, he’s a Performance Artist!!! He represents man’s inhumanity to man!!!
I thought he represented man’s inability to wash away the sins of the past and that is why he hasn’t showered or bathed in a year.
Leave me out of this.
Shoot. They found me.
Aw well, time to see what’s awaiting me in the Great White North.
**winks at Mindfield**
Well, shoot. Can’t even keep the avatar service on in this economy.
Aw well. TO CANADIA, AWAY!!!
Better than than bank foreclosure’s inhumanity to homeowner . . .
Don’t worry. I won’t shoot ’til I see the blues of your eyes.
A man drawn in black? Could it be Johnny Cash?
I keep a close watch on this art of mine.
I’m the Kevorkian of interior design.
My front door has pentangular signs.
Sign on the line, the house is thine.
Hummmmmm…..
With teleporting hawks and devil dolls,
Upon your homefront I can cast a pall.
I’ll bet your soul you can’t escape at all.
Sign on the line, your soul is mine.
Hummmm…..
Just take the 15 thousand from your purse.
With house and drawing, you’ll also get a curse.
The sentiment or price, which one is worse?
Oh, never mind: your soul is mine.
“…and if you’ll buy that, I’ll throw the Golden Gate in free!”
I already bought that on Ebay. It even came with free shipping!!!
Are you going to put it beside the Brooklyn Bridge or London Bridge?
Brooklyn… the London Bridge has a togetherness issue. It just keeps falling down every time you look at it.
No, Gary P Nunn found London Bridge, it fell down and moved to Arizona.
A Picasso or a Garfunkel?
A Carney.
“Address the ball!”
“Hello, ball!”
A llamu or an emu?
If I didn’t know better, I’d definitely think that our esteemed llamanun and ostrimu (BBUThem) derived their identities from that song.
However, I realize this coincidence is simply a function of maximized entropy.
If I had a million dollars, I’d buy a bunch of houses in Detroit!
If I had a million dollars, I’d build a house in Texas.
Which would sit behind glacis and ramparts, and at least a scarp (if tastefully decorated as lanai or patio).
Now, if I had an annuity of a million a year, I might consider some Detroit real estate, if only as it would make an excellent backdrop for films about the Soviet Great Patriotic War . . .
Isn’t decasying a dance? If not, I think I’ll make it one! 😀
Decasying, Dickinsian… let’s call the whole thing off.
“Please sir, may I have some more chaulk?”
Throw in a house or throw up in a house?
Don’t you dare throw your throw up in the house!
Windrose, I have to leave and go get my punch card that I left in my other
house in the mountainspants.I promise I’ll be right back…. just this time, please don’t hide behind the door. ?? 🙂
So I searched Uncle Google for the original CL post; it came up as “This posting has been deleted by its author.”
I SO wonder if it was because it was sold.
LimeLolly, just a good punchity punch punch for you tonight!
G’Night, Location!
*slaps steak on eye*
We really need to talk about not hitting for distance.
Sometimes, trying to read a Craigslist ad gives me a headache. Who am I trying to kid? Most times. trying to read a Craigslist ad gives me a headache. This one is no exception.