YSaC, Vol. 1057: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.
Storm Trooper Hang Out (Bars)
Looking for a few people who own movie quality storm trooper armor sets to hang out with me one night and maybe go to a few bars or clubs. No girls allowed because that is not very realistic but if you are a girl and have a storm trooper armor set you are always free to let one of my friends wear it and tag along like you’re one of our prisoners. I will be expecting us to pretend like we just finished a hard day of work on the Death Star and we need a few beers to relax after we accidentally realized those were the droids that we were looking for.
Afterwards, you can shoot wildly and randomly at things and completely fail to hit the things you’re actually aiming at, and then you can accidentally bonk your head on the door of the bar on the way out.
Okay, so this very likely falls into the “possibly awesome” category and doesn’t suck. That’s why we have the “possibly awesome” category. Although it might only qualify for the “possibly possibly awesome” category, thanks to the misogyny.
Thanks, Jenny!
Hi Sparky! so tell me why anyone would lend their precious Storm Trooper costume to you and your friends to go on the razzle? Check out fancy dress costume hire shops – then you can pay to look total idio ….. real Stormtroopers. (PS I am a girl and would not want to accompany you even if there were forty gazillion Hans Solos to choose from!)
*Crosses Star Wars dress up off my “ways to impress women” list*
I dunno, that many
young Harrison FordsHan Solos might be too tempting to resist. Especially if you throw in a few Indiana Joneses….No kidding. I mean whips? Leather?
*oof*
Corner.
*joins IF, just on principle*
*joins IF, fully unpricipled, just for the whips*
Those were, in fact, the droids you were looking for, and those ladies over there are the women you’re looking for, but you’re not going to have any better luck with them, either … everyone knows that the chick-magnet characters are Vader, Solo, and Mace Windu.*
*No idea if this actually true.
Observation: I love their Y-chromosome reasoning that there aren’t any female storm troopers. Um … you never actually see their faces guys, so how do you know for sure?
And here goes the geekiness that makes me so endearing…
[Star Wars corey The Stormtroopers are all clones from Jango Fett, Boba Fetts’ father. I forget which of the horrible prequels that is in, mayhap someone geekier than I can furnish that info. Anyway, all the clones are guys, hence the whole “The Boys from Brazil”-lite aspect. / Yep, I’m bringing Nerd back, one Star Wars quote at a time.]
In theory a female clone could be made from male DNA, all it would take would be to remove the Y chromosome and replace it with a duplicated X chromosome. It’s unlikely that it happened,since it’s an extra few steps, but it’s possible.
Also, I remember reading somewhere that that was true of the original Storm Troopers, but that they were just regular soldiers at some time later. So it could be possible.
I think the more relevant reason that there “couldn’t” have been female storm troopers is the same reason that there weren’t any female commanders, pilots, etc. (with very rare exception) in the whole series.
[/femenist rant]
The only women of note/real story relevance were princesses/queens, and mothers or sisters, now that you mention it.
I think there’s one woman giving instruction to the Rebel fighters in one of the movies, and maybe a couple extras in the command center, but overall, there are very few women at all in the original movies.
Funny, I’m listening to the last book in the Milennium series that starts with The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo. It talkes about the rather impressive number of women who pretended to be men or boys so they could fight in the Civil War. And they were not afraid of being shot at or shooting to kill. There’s a real gold mine of story material there. 8)
I’d like to think it was Attack of the Clones, but to be brutally honest I’ve done a very good job of erasing the whole sorry mess from my memory. Mostly with gin.*
*This was of course in reply to Smedley and makes no sense whatever now.
It’s OK. It’s the gin. 8)
Nothing wrong with gin, sister.
Maybe by the lack of room for hooties in the top part of the uniform and the bulge in the uniform for the, er, “Death Star” down below.
So that’s what Mr. Monkey calls it, eh?
That’s what I call it. He named it Buford T Justice (his fav movie is Smokey and the Bandit).
[even more geekery]
First saw Temuera Morrison in “Once Were Warriors” so, Seeing Jake “the Musc” Heke as the model for all the clone armies had an odd ring to it.
As the storm troopers were all clones from Jengo Fett…. they are all male.
But in a world of cross overs, cons, and “cross-play” I’ve seen some sexy female stormtroopers…
According to the Wookieepedia[1], that insanely detailed authority on the Star Wars Expanded Universe, although the Stormtroopers started off as clones of Jango Fett, later they were predominantly conscripts. And although Imperial society was heavily stratified by both species and gender, there were *some* female Stormtroopers, although they were rare.
[1] http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Stormtroopers
Hi Lalmanun and Ostrimu (BBUY) and other technical YSaCers – how do I change my email setting? Moving internet providers. Confused of England here ! xx
Hi tig! Nope, no help…just wanted to wave across the pond. I think Taco can help, if no one else chimes in before he gets his lazy arse over here.
I do believe that you use the log-in button on the left of this page to log into WordPress, and change your email there in your profile. Then go to gravatar.com to change it there as well so your avvie follows suit…
Oooh, we should put that in the forum!
Hey Bombdude you rock! It worked (well, apart from your confusion with left and right – don’t worry, I’m left-handed, its a common mistake!) Let’s hope this works … and I may have altered my avatar!! TP
Glad folks could help — sorry I didn’t respond sooner!
Awww… but I got my suit all ready to go. Damn my sweater-hams!
And I was going to wear my best red ear bow. Damn sexist Sparky.
*removes pastry-like hairpieces for Leia outfit*
*slices them*
Who wants coffee? I brought fresh!
Sis, Happy Birthday! To you, AND your sweater-hams!
Happy Birthday!
Suggest checking with Yoda on the sweater-hams. I believe he said, “There are sweaters and there are hams. There are no sweater-hams! However, there may be ‘Pigs in a Blanket’ “.
A Stormtrooper-bar-pickup-line: Hey, baby, I can give you a “Kessel” in less than 12 parsecs, if you know what I mean.
And, sadly, I do.
I thought a parsec was a unit of distance, rather than time?
It is.
Explanation 1: The Kessel Run is essentially a space obstacle course, a part of the cosmos littered with singularities and nebulae and other nasties that aren’t friendly to your average smuggling ship. Thus, one’s ability to make the Kessel run isn’t measured necessarily by your time, but your distance – the deftness with which you’re able to navigate.
Explanation 2: George Lucas is a dolt.
My money’s on option 2.
*checks box 2 on paper, puts pecil down. Picks it up again to write “Han shot first*
Option 3: A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away, the term “parsec” was used as a measurement of time. It is mearly a coincidence that in our galaxy in our time a language developed that is the same in every way with the exception of the word “parsec.”
That dolt option is really looking better all the time…
So what y’all are saying is: Parsecs = Funky Monkey is using it wrong.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inconceivable!
I thought it was megaparsecs, but then I may just be a megadork (not to be confused with a megageek).
So what would a METAgeek look like?
Better a dork/geek than someone that took years to figure out why the first movie was called Episode IV. In my defense, the movie came out when I was still living on the folks farm with the cows and no TV and little exposure to the outside world. ‘Cept for marketin’ day.
This is… disturbingly on-point right now. The show I’m in opens tomorrow night (technically now today – eep!) and we sourced a wicked, possibly movie-quality Stromtrooper costume for one of the scenes. Myself and the other females all went “ooh, impressive, so realistic” and moved on. Every male, on the other hand, lined up to try it on. For two hours. I can honestly say that this ad surprises me not at all.
A few years back, I saw a local production of All Childish Things*, a play about a group of friends set to steal a motherlode of rare and/or unproduced Star Wars toys from a warehouse. The local theatre brought in some folks from the Michigan Chapter of the 501st Legion to stand at the entrances of the theatre in film-quality Stormtrooper armor. It was a nice touch.
And in fact, I was seated right in front of a female Stormtrooper, with requisite modifications made to the torso to accommodate the side-effects of that pesky second x chromosome…
The show is great – I’d recommend it if you have the opportunity to go. And not unsurprisingly, it seems to be a part of a trilogy…
*Chicago-area YSaCers, that link takes you to a production opening in November if you’re interested
Break a leg, Miss Jen!
Sparky really should’ve put a height requirement on the ad. I mean, how many times do you want to hear a woman coming up to you in the bar and asking, “Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?”
Ah, but that gives the guy the chance to say, “I’m here to rescue you.”
But, will have to advance a belief that the speaker is just full of . . . midichlorians.
Well, Sparky’s full of something alright.
I’m guessing pudding.
On fire?
The geek in me is on overload right now, what with all the Star Wars quotes/references.
Sigh……….
Oh!
Storm trooper bloopers!
“Storm Trooper Hang Out (Bars)”
I’m picturing a club house made out of old packing crates, with No Grils painted in various places around it. And the bars are on the windows. I got up too early, apparently.
Unemployment: Sucks when your job gets blown up.
No wonder the storm troopers need to drown their sorrows in alcohol.
I don’t know about the Imperial army, but the contractors knew what they were getting into.
Let’s hope the emperor remembered to pay unemployment tax! Otherwise, it’s gonna be a long, cold walk home.
An Emperor paying a tax? You wanna be the tax collector sent to dun the guy imbued in the Dark Side of the Force?
Besides, the self-insurance requirement is why they cut corners and left a swamprat-sized area unprotected.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24973901@N04/2762458387/
Here you go.
Star Wars memorabilia? No thanks. Lounge chair shaped like the captain’s chair from the bridge of NCC-1701D? Yes please.
You’d have to wire your remote control to say, “Make it so” every time you changed the channel though.
I would pay a stupid amount of money for that.
Astro – I think what you meant to say was….”I would be stupid to pay money for that”
Signed,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Stony Flagtail Feifings (and TOS snob..totally)
The way R. flips channels, I would smash that remote with a hammer pretty quickly.
And the hammer is your…pecil, right?
Storm Trooper Hang Out – that would be kewl. On a personal note, the dive bar I frequent is a close match to the Mos Eisley Cantina scene. And no one is in costume……
Mos Eisley SpaceportCraigslist – you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.There are more than a few NY bars that are like that, particularly once time starts being counted in single-digit hours again. Fortunately, I’ve been able to avoid any Han/Boba scenarii.
Imagine that spaceport with a TV playing horrible music videos that are at least a decade out of date and a “Let’s make it up as we go along” approach to carding people. Imagine also that the restrooms look like that trash compactor, complete with monster. That’s some of the bars in D.C.
Sounds like my kind of place, Dave. Recommend one (or two) for for my next trip to Crystal City.
What worries me is I have a couple of friends with the right costumes who would love to do this.
LC, I suspect that most of the commenters here are similar. Don’t worry.
PS: That kitten still makes me squeeeeee!!! every time.
In honor of the Star Wars theme:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1fyk9c/www.knology.net/~k4hsm/images/starwars.gif
That is pretty awesome!
Oh Noe! Poor Red-Five gets it, again, in 8-bit. The horror the horror.
*Bursts into the Snark Lounge all disheveled and panting*
Sorry for being late, everyone. I got pulled over by some storm troopers on the way here and apparently I had the droids they were looking for. I had to spend the morning convincing the Emperor that my electric coffee mug did not, in fact, hold the key to defeating the resistance.
They still confiscated my MP3 player though, they didn’t look too kindly on the Rebel Theme having a half a star higher rating than the Imperial March…
“I had the droids” – What Hubby Monkey says to explain why he’s in the can for 30 minutes on the day after burrito night.
Sorry. Not interested.
Why?
Because your Death Star is too small !
“I find your lack of package disturbing.”
“The Force is weak with this one.”
No, that’s NOT a lightsaber in your pants.
Sparky’s gonna have to come up with another explanation for that burning sensation.
Not to mention the glowing factor.
I’m sure some chicks would dig the glowing.
Those with bug zapper fetishes, for example.
So…. why don’t they want a girl with them? Seems like a pretty dumb exclusion…
It hard to….. ‘fire your lasers’ in unison in mixed company?
My first thought on seeing that was “OUCH!” It looks too tight in the ham area…
Oh, there are models to accommodate the hams.
Look, hamcans.
This has been a fantastic day. On the commute home, I passed a city bus with a LegoLand ad on the back. All Star Wars stuff. So cool.
My dear CJ, here is a well deserved Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Hoth!