You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: disingenuous

  • YSaC, Vol. XC

    FREE MONKEY!!!!!

    I am moving Oct. 21 into an apt. complex that does not allow animals. I need of a loving family for my adorable monkey. His name is Frankie…. Katie xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch my monkey! Love him!

    Poor Frankie the tiny monkey with photoshopped horns. Poor Katie with her moving and her phone number on the internet for lunatics to call. Too bad none of it’s true.

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. LXXXIX

    Academically Delinquent Student Seeks Writing Coach

    Sensible [college] senior seeks beneficent academic, advanced degree student, or otherwise professional writer to act as guide through the vicissitudes of writing. Though my trouble with writing remained a private albatross for years, I don’t want my last semester to turn out like the never-ending story on account of a few papers, and, ahem, a thesis. A helpful sensei would read essay drafts, provide compositional and critical theoretical feedback, and be generally, sensitively, and honestly encouraging. I’m open to email correspondence or face to face meetings. In exchange for your services, I will cook, clean, babysit, or perform any other reasonable and ordinary unskilled labor or light techie task you need.

    Most likely translation: Despite the fact that I clearly know my way around the English language and a thesaurus, I’m terminally lazy and want someone to write my senior thesis for me.

  • YSaC, Vol. LIX

    Sander for trade – Butthead

    im looking to trade my sander for a bicycle or some roller skates

    call me up
    Butthead 3000 i stole the sander from the dude in the circle

    In case you can’t read it, the caption on the picture says, “I stole this sander from the guy in the circle.”

    Here, take these roller skates. I stole them from the women’s roller derby team. I also gave them your phone number and told them you stole them.

  • YSaC, Vol. IL

    Century 21 Home Towne Realty sign – $10

    Century 21 Home Towne Realty sign for sale. Was used by a previous realtor. Just the sign, not the post. only 10 dollars.

    Just the sign, not the post … because you’re selling the post for $15 in another ad. (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. XXXVII

    NEVER USED AND COOL STORAGE SHELVES – $60

    DON’T NEED THIS OR WANT IT but it looks cool!! so buy it great for small items.
    Key features
    Can be hung under a wall cabinet or on the wall.
    Ideal for storage of odds and ends, e.g. rubber bands, spices and other junk
    just put it together and enjoy

    Product dimensions
    Width: 23 5/8 ”
    Depth: 6 1/2 ”
    Height: 5 7/8 ”

    Width: 60 cm
    Depth: 16.5 cm
    Height: 15 cm

    Um, you do realize this costs $29.99 at IKEA, right? Of course you do, because you copied the “Key features” text and dimensions — AND the picture! — right from their website.

  • YSaC, Vol. VIII

    iPod Touch 8GB Brand new – $250

    Brand new in box, iPod Touch 8GB music/video/wifi player.

    I bought this from an Apple store. Only a small part of the back of the box has been peeled for the UPC used to send for a rebate. Otherwise, box is still sealed, unopened, and unused. This is the version with the software updates (John Lennon on box).

    $250

    Wait, let me get this right: you’ve kept the UPC so you could send it in for the rebate? You mean the rebate Apple’s been offering where you get the full $300 purchase price of the iPod Touch back? So you’re going to get the rebate AND you’re trying to sell it on Craigslist for $250? Wow, slimy.