{"id":11081,"date":"2014-01-22T07:42:33","date_gmt":"2014-01-22T12:42:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=11081"},"modified":"2014-01-22T09:03:16","modified_gmt":"2014-01-22T14:03:16","slug":"ysac-vol-1655-i-can-swing-my-sword","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=11081","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. 1655: I can swing my sword."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Sword (cursed) – $100<\/h2>\n
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Looking to sell my sword. The power and temptation are too much to bear anymore. Here’s a little bit about the sword:<\/p>\n

42″ blade, Cursed so that it will kill a man every time it is used and will be the cause of three great evils.<\/p>\n

* Forged by magic, handle carved from the tree Barnstokkr.
\n* Cutting strength and durability beyond that of an ordinary weapon.
\n* Unbreakable by anything but wrongful acts of its wielder.
\n* Bursts into flame when wielder is challenged or in danger.
\n* Under the correct circumstances can sever its victim’s head in one blow!
\n* Frightens unworthy opponents and the elderly.<\/p>\n

$100 or best offer. Also willing to trade for other cursed items.
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hmmm. I don’t know if I’ve got anything cursed lying around here, but I have some haunted furniture<\/a> and a haunted painting<\/a> you might be interested in. <\/p>\n

Wait, I’m trying to understand this sword’s special powers. It’s cursed so that it will kill your opponent? Isn’t that a good<\/em> thing, assuming that your opponent isn’t Joey from down the street? And apparently it kills your opponent by … bursting into flame. Now, I’m no Medieval specialist, but I was under the impression that swords were supposed to be more on the solid spectrum than the fire spectrum. It seems it is also responsible for the three great evils of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, and Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors<\/a>. Okay, now we’re talking power.<\/p>\n

Although, I think I’d like a sword that would not break when I rip the tags off my mattress with it. <\/p>\n

Thanks, Angel!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sword (cursed) – $100 Looking to sell my sword. The power and temptation are too much to bear anymore. Here’s a little bit about the sword: 42″ blade, Cursed so that it will kill a man every time it is used and will be the cause of three great evils. * Forged by magic, handle […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":241,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[38,25,81,52,34],"class_list":["post-11081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-antiques","tag-humanity-is-doomed","tag-maybe-its-just-me","tag-possibly-awesome","tag-this-can-only-end-badly","tag-trying-too-hard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/241"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11081"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11081\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11084,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11081\/revisions\/11084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}