There’s two entries today, Vol. 266 and 267, so be sure to scroll down. (This was an accident, but I’m going to leave it that way and pretend I meant to do that. You may fawn obsequiously in the comments.)<\/p>\n
\nAll it takes is one… – w4m – 26<\/h2>\n
\n“Nice girl with a big heart looking for a sweat guy. I like bathes and showers as well. Most people only like one if that!!! I like to keep my options open. Tired of being pushed around and mistreeted. Iwant someone who respects me for who I am and knows how to treat a cute girl. Being able to listen to lots of opinions I might have when I’m drunk is always a plus. So is knowing how to handle a gerbil. I have 7 and they are like my kids, I luv them, alot!!! N*E*WAYZ I will go now if you want to know more just ask, I’m an open book. i prefer at least 6 inchers. I can deal with less but it’s not near as fun. no small weiners! lol “<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Why is this in quotes? Is it a transcription? Was she dictating this to someone?<\/p>\n
It’s a good thing she likes baths and<\/em> showers if she’s going to be looking for a sweat guy.<\/p>\n
I’m still trying to figure out the “N*E*WAYZ I will go now”\u00a0 bit. I mean, I know what it means, but why would someone write that in a personal ad? It sounds like something a third grader would write in a letter to a penpal. “Dear Jimmy, How is your summer? My summer is fun. I went to camp and then went bowling. N*E*WAYZ I have to go now, it’s time for dinner. Johnny”<\/p>\n
And I’m hoping I’m not the only one who (at first) thought that ‘6 inchers’ referred back to the gerbils.<\/p>\n
As a special Friday bonus, here’s a series of ads sent in by Tonya. I’m leaving the dates intact on this series for a reason…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nHey…looking for someone that’s into monogamy. – 28<\/h2>\n
\nDate: 2009-03-20, 7:35AM CDT<\/p>\n
A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows. Hey…looking for someone that’s into monogamy. I love getting lost in a good book. In the recent past I have read such books as Christine, Stephen King & 2010: Odyssey Two, Arthur C. Clarke.. Are you interested? If so, contact me with your information.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
\nAd #2:<\/p>\n
\nFriends of mine tell me I’m monogamous – 26<\/h2>\n
\nDate: 2009-03-21, 7:41AM CDT<\/p>\n
I am 5 feet 2 inches with luxurious platinum blonde hair and a curvy body. Love to read all kinds of books in my free time. My favorite books are Lady Boss, Jackie Collins and The Regulators, Richard Bachman. Others have told me I am monogamous. I hate it When you open the DVD case and it is empty or a different movie is in it. Today’s the day! Send me an Email and let’s get to know each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
\nAd #3:<\/p>\n
\nFriends say I am monogamous – 19<\/h2>\n
\nDate: 2009-03-23, 7:39AM CDT<\/p>\n
I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution. I’m monogamous. I dislike how opening any cheap electronic item these days requires cutting up your finger with cheap impossible to open plastic molding covering. I am 5 feet 3 inches with soft platinum blonde hair and a curvy body. Ok…I am a huge movie buff.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
Does anyone else get the feeling that she doesn’t actually know what the word monogamous<\/em> means? I think she was complaining about her relationships to a more intelligent co-worker, and the following conversation took place:<\/p>\n
Her: “I’m just sick of JimBob cheating on me, you know?”
\nCW: “Well, you’re monogamous.”
\nHer: “What did you call me? I don’t have any diseases anymore, after those antibiotics.”
\nCW: “No, monogamous<\/em>. You’re monogamous, and you need to find someone else who is monogamous, too.”
\nHer: “Right! I’ll post an ad on Craigslist. H-E-double hockey sticks, I’ll post a series<\/em> of ads on Craigslist, in which I get younger in each ad and grow an inch in height. I’ll be sure to find me someone monogamous then.”<\/p>\nShe’s not too cautious about using the word impossible<\/em> when she’s complaining about “impossible to open plastic molding covering”. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There’s two entries today, Vol. 266 and 267, so be sure to scroll down. (This was an accident, but I’m going to leave it that way and pretend I meant to do that. You may fawn obsequiously in the comments.) All it takes is one… – w4m – 26 “Nice girl with a big heart […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[23,6,9],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personals","tag-classy","tag-disingenuous","tag-unclear-on-the-concept"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1763,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions\/1763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}