{"id":2632,"date":"2009-07-10T09:04:29","date_gmt":"2009-07-10T13:04:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2632"},"modified":"2009-06-30T23:31:53","modified_gmt":"2009-07-01T03:31:53","slug":"ysac-vol-358-its-because-hes-an-ass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2632","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. 358: It’s because he’s an ass."},"content":{"rendered":"

Sara and khs sent in these two posts separately, but they turn out to tell a beautiful story about a man and his … donkey.<\/p>\n

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man needs good home – 31<\/h2>\n
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my name is josh i just got kicked out of my house me and the old lady just split up i have noware to go and to top that off i am on house arrest 4 child support so all i need is a home phone that house arrest people can call and make shure that i am there.i also need 70 a week to keep up on my child support .i put the ball in your court.i am easy to git along with and love children.so please some body out there you can keep me out of jail and at the very least you would have made a good friend.I would not be posting this add if i had any where elce to go besides jail.i am a good handy man and can do about any thing so please email or hit me up at [spelled out phone number] i have until tonight to git some where i know its a lot to drop on someone but trust me its worth it i know there is some way that i will be able to help u.call and i’ll tell u y they call me donkey waiting by the phone<\/p>\n

thank you<\/p>\n

ps can shave if u don’t like that josh aka[donkey]<\/p>\n

\"358a\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Translation: I’m a deadbeat dad and I’m looking for someone who will let me live with them for free and pay my back child support for me.<\/p>\n

Somewhat unsurprisingly, this strategy seems not to have worked for our friend “donkey”, as this post appeared a few days later:<\/p>\n

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your last chance – 31<\/h2>\n
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here it is i do not care about looks someone needs a man around the house and i am that man i am strait forward and will tell u if u will git any ,i need a place right now so if you are cool anough i can dio any thing work on cars what ever u need drywall to carprt i am on house aresst just the call in someone call to make shure i am home if any thing you would have made a good friend so i guess hit me up if u need a man or just a dude i will only need a place 4 a month or 2 unless i realy like u witch you will know i am strait forward<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He will tell me if I will “git” any, and if I’m cool enough he’ll do work around the house for me? I’m sorry, donkey, my good friend, but given your current circumstances, I don’t think those decisions are entirely up to you. Now put on that frilly apron that looks so nice with your ankle monitor, and dance for my amusement. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sara and khs sent in these two posts separately, but they turn out to tell a beautiful story about a man and his … donkey. man needs good home – 31 my name is josh i just got kicked out of my house me and the old lady just split up i have noware to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[58,38,61,66,7,75,52,33],"class_list":["post-2632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personals","tag-asshat","tag-humanity-is-doomed","tag-punctuationally-challenged","tag-sparky","tag-speeling-prolbems","tag-still-single","tag-this-can-only-end-badly","tag-translation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2632"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2632\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2636,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2632\/revisions\/2636"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}