{"id":2703,"date":"2009-07-21T09:16:08","date_gmt":"2009-07-21T13:16:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2703"},"modified":"2009-07-21T08:54:53","modified_gmt":"2009-07-21T12:54:53","slug":"ysac-vol-369-ill-just-sleep-on-the-floor-thanks-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=2703","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. 369: I’ll just sleep on the floor. Thanks anyway."},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

BED BUGS ARE BACK!…everything needs to be gone in 2 weeks!! – $1<\/h2>\n
\n

I’m moving out of state in a few weeks due to hygienic difficulties…I need to sell everything!!!<\/p>\n

couch $200
\nwhite bookcase $70
\nbedframe\/mattress and side table $250 (not until last week of June)
\noak bookshelf $15
\nwicker chair from Pier1 $60
\nEVERYTHING IS IN GREAT CONDITION!!<\/p>\n

I will be having an garage sale through RSVP only- on Sunday June 14 all day!!!
\nbooks, clothes, desk w\/ file, desk chair, misc kitchens and bathroom treasures!!
\n\"371a\"\"371b\"<\/p>\n

\"371c\"\"371d\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You’re moving.<\/p>\n

Because of bedbugs.<\/p>\n

And so you’re selling … your couch and your bed.<\/p>\n

*scratches*<\/p>\n

No thanks. I think I’ll try to find another bed on Craigslist. There must be other ads for beds on Craigslist, right?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Roll away bed 48″ new – $200<\/h2>\n
\n

Used for a short time in my office after my wife kicked me out for consorting with escorts. Gentlemen the line ” it’s just sex” does not work. I suggest you not use it. What does work in this situation is tucking your manhood under and doing what she says. By using this technique I have wormed my way back into the house and onto the couch. With the loss of some weight and and some ” additional compensations” I hope to normalize relations with my wife. The bed can be picked up at my office in [location].<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Um, no thanks. You’ve already admitted having a proclivity for escorts — I don’t think I want to buy the bed on which you have spent nights away from your wife.<\/p>\n

\n

Outside used futon, but its comfortable and not too dirty – $5<\/h2>\n
\n

Used Futon for sale!!!!! Come take it off my hands im moving<\/p>\n

\"371a2\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Not too dirty<\/em> is never a ringing endorsement. Nor is a picture in which you can easily see evidence of some sort of bodily fluid on the “not too dirty” mattress that has been used outdoors. Given that the number of bodily fluids possible is not limitless, and I don’t want to encounter ANY of them, I’m going to pass on this one as well.<\/p>\n

If you need me, I’ll be in the guest room<\/a>. Oh, never mind.<\/p>\n

Thanks to Kristen for the bedbugs ad and to Danielle for the last two ads!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BED BUGS ARE BACK!…everything needs to be gone in 2 weeks!! – $1 I’m moving out of state in a few weeks due to hygienic difficulties…I need to sell everything!!! couch $200 white bookcase $70 bedframe\/mattress and side table $250 (not until last week of June) oak bookshelf $15 wicker chair from Pier1 $60 EVERYTHING […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[15,29,25,9],"class_list":["post-2703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-furniture","tag-ew","tag-fun-with-pictures","tag-maybe-its-just-me","tag-unclear-on-the-concept"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2703"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2703\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2823,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2703\/revisions\/2823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}