{"id":963,"date":"2009-01-14T08:31:48","date_gmt":"2009-01-14T13:31:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=963"},"modified":"2009-01-09T16:28:31","modified_gmt":"2009-01-09T21:28:31","slug":"ysac-vol-clxxx","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/?p=963","title":{"rendered":"YSaC, Vol. CLXXX"},"content":{"rendered":"

This one is behind a cut because it’s liberal with the four- (and six-, and seven-) letter words. Just a warning for anyone who might potentially be shocked by that and might want to ask if I’m okay<\/a> or something.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

To all my “Friends” (Doesn’t matter anymore…)<\/h2>\n
\n


\nWhat the hell?! I thought we were cool with each other, but I guess it was a lie. Nobody calls anymore, and nobody wants to hang out. The few that do call get my hopes up about hanging out, but when that day comes… nothing. Thanks for dumping me so suddenly and for forgetting to call, losing my number, and calling to hang out and “forgetting.” If I wasn’t a loner from the start, I’d actually be hurt, but fuck you! all of you! I didn’t invite you into my life you pretended to be a part of mine. I loaned you money, drove you home when you were too drunk to drive, and I even played “wingman” and helped you crash a few ladies nights. If you wanted to stop being friends, just be honest, don’t just fucking ignore me!<\/p>\n

And to the guy who lied and said your mom died, I saw her on my way to work last week. So I hope what comes around goes around for you, you lying mother fucker!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

\nBecause there’s no place like Craigslist to be passive aggressive (unless it’s Passive Aggressive Notes<\/a>). You can tell he’s not hurt because of the swearing. That indicates his coolness with the situation.<\/p>\n

If this were a sitcom, Jack would have left this message on Larry’s answering machine, and would then have run into Larry before Larry heard the message and realize the error of his ways, and Jack would then have had to devise an ingenious scheme to erase the message from Larry’s machine before he heard it. Hilarity and hijinks would ensue.<\/p>\n

In real life, though, chances are his friends aren’t actually going to see this unless they regularly troll the “Strictly Platonic” section of their local Craigslist. (Maybe that’s how they entice new suckers<\/span> friends into their little evil circle?) Anyway, I thought I’d help him disseminate his dissatisfaction with his friends. Purely altruistic purposes, of course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This one is behind a cut because it’s liberal with the four- (and six-, and seven-) letter words. Just a warning for anyone who might potentially be shocked by that and might want to ask if I’m okay or something. To all my “Friends” (Doesn’t matter anymore…)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[23,52],"class_list":["post-963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personals","tag-classy","tag-this-can-only-end-badly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/963","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=963"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/963\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1002,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/963\/revisions\/1002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yousuckatcraigslist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}