You Suck at Craigslist

Author: dan

  • YSaC, Vol. 1734: One without so much strawberry tart in it.

    Do you want a pet, but don’t have time to deal with all those pesky needs they have? Here’s two possibilities that might be right up your alley:

    Frozen Meduim Rat

    condition: new
    Its a gray frozen rat we recently sold our snake and we had a extra frozen rat, if any one wants it we dident want to throw it away.

    Now, to my mind, “new” condition for a rat is probably still breathing, but whatever. It’s low maintenance! It doesn’t need food! It doesn’t need water! It doesn’t even need oxygen! It does, however, probably need a cool place to keep the smell down.

    Still too much work?

    Free to a good loving home


    Free to good home, “Boulder” has been a wonderful companion.

    However we are forced to downsize and are moving to an apt.

    They do not allow Boulders on the premises

    Boulder is very quiet, he will just sit with you for hours on end.

    Please give Boulder a good home.

    Boulder doesn’t need refrigeration, so you could start here, and when you feel prepared, work your way up to dead rat.

    Thanks for the posts, Michael and Alisha!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1733: Danger Will Robinson!

    Phish Hat

    Hey brother, I am sorry bout today, I got another hat ive never wore. Let me know some key details and ill give you this one. Seriously very sorry and want to give you this hat.

    I’m not going to do it.

    I swear I’m not going to do it.

    Not. Going. To…

    Phish hat, Phish hat, rolly polly Phish hat
    Phish hat, Phish hat, eat it up, yum!

    Dammit.

    Thanks for the post, Andrew!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1732: Art for crap’s sake.

    Need someone to change a wedding photo a little…


    for 10 bucks I just need someone to do a semi-convincing photo shop of a wedding photo. It is a pic of them cutting a cake. I need it to look like they are cutting an animal for some sort of sacrifice or something and the faces need to be blurred out like it would be on the show COPS. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pretty good. I can easily do it in something like MSPAINT but…c’mon…it would be crap.

    Payment is via paypal. I’ll shoot it over. You can invoice me if you are a professional

    Full subscription to Photoshop CC 2014: $49/month
    High end photo editing workstation: $10,000
    4 years of art school: $150,000

    Ability to help Sparky here mangle someone’s wedding photo? Priceless.

    No, literally priceless. As in, probably no one will do this for any price.

    Have fun with MS Paint there, Sparky.

    Thanks for the post, Lisa!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1731: Davy Jones’ FABRIKÖR

    free Shelving an miss furniture


    Free shelving and miss furniture
    COME AND TAKE IT

    The ways of nature sure are mysterious, aren’t they? We don’t know why, but this small stretch of grass is known as the “IKEA graveyard.” When particle board reaches the end of its natural life, it is compelled to bring itself here to live out its final moments. This happens even if the owners weren’t done with the furniture yet, causing them to miss furniture.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1729: Send me an Angle.

    Beany Baby, Princess Diane – $80

    Princess Diane Beany Baby, Valued at $1`49.00, Selling for $80.00.

    Princess, Like an angle she came from heaven above. She shared her compassion, her pain, her love. She only stayed with us long enough to teach the worlf to share, to give, to reach.

    Intrigued, I went and looked into what Princess Diane Beanie Babies are actually selling for. Turns out there are people actually asking hundreds of thousands of dollars for these things on eBay. Sadly, they’re only worth about ten bucks. There goes THAT retirement plan. I guess I’ll have to go back to trying to teach the worlf to share, and keep it company.

    Thanks for the post, Maggie!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1728: Free as a bird now. (Was $10)

    So many free things today! Look at all this free stuff!

    television an shoe shelves


    condition: good size / dimensions: 26
    Good Panasonic TV bought in about 1999 works good and a shelving thing holds lots of shoes you must take both they free

    That’s right. If you want the shoe rack, you MUST take the TV. And vice versa. But I’m going to go further. I’m going to insist you ALSO take this desk:

    Free Office Desk – no drawer model

    We have an office desk for free that used to be used in our office. This desk has been used in our office and is now being given away, we use cubicles now.

    First one here get it free!

    Call us to get this…

    I know what you’re thinking – Why should I have to take this desk, just to get the shoe rack, when I have no idea whatsoever where it has been used? Well, tough. And bring a truck, because you’re also getting:

    FREE–FREE LEFT OVER XMAS TREES FOR BOND FIRES

    LOCATED AT [Location] IS OVER 500 LEFTOVER
    XMAS TREES FOR (((FREE))). COME BY AND TAKE WHAT
    YOU NEED. AD WILL BE TAKEN DOWN WHEN ALL ARE GONE.

    What’s that you say? You don’t NEED 500 Xmas trees in July? Stow it, Sparky! You’re taking them. And just to top it off, we’re going to stuff this down the back of your shirt.

    Free free


    Free

    Whatever it is.

    Serves you right for wanting something for nothing.

    Thanks for the free labor, Jason, Ralph and sd!