You Suck at Craigslist

Category: gigs

  • YSaC, Vol. 1799: Paging Raven

    Iam looking for a editor

    Iam looking to find a editor to try to help me do my book. Its a fantasy series and I just found out its going to cost some gig bucks to get it done. what kind of deal could we work out Iam up to just about anything besides some gay guy trying to get something from me. I can do a lot of things paint,remodel,driveways,roofing,car work. Hay Iam a guy that can do a lot of things and have had ny hands on a lot of stuff. So with that can we work a deal

    OK, Iam (if that is your real name), let’s see if I can do some editing for you. You’re a homophobic jerk, so let’s see if I can make your post a little more hilarious:

    …I can “do a lot of things”: “paint,” “remodel,” “driveways,” “roofing,” “car work.” Hay, Iam a guy that can “do a lot of things” and have had my hands on a “lot of stuff.” So with that can we work a deal?

    There. Now to just repost this in “m4btwsami” (Men for biker types with serious anger management issues). Great – hopefully that gets you the attention your work deserves. Hopefully the btwsami doesn’t want apostrophes from you.

    Thanks for the post, TLS!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1773: Technical Foul

    We’ve had plenty of posts from people looking to get something for nothing. It’s sort of a cliche that musicians get asked to play “for the exposure,” which as far as I can tell means that since they’re not getting paid, they’re likely to die of exposure.

    Here’s someone looking for a free photographer, although what they really seem to need is someone with a few extra periods and commas:

    Let’s create some art

    Hey everyone I’m Jimmy 21 year old male model for the past year I’ve been lucky enough to work with some amazing photographers allot of which I’ve met on CL so recently I’ve been slacking and I have not been producing new work so let’s fix that I have a few girl friends who have been asking me to shoot with them I’m looking for photographers who willing to shoot edgy provocative semi-nude work I’ve done full nude but I’m not too sure if the girls are willing to do nudes I’m sure some of them are all of these shoot would be individual maybe a group I have a few idea and we are also ready to help you execute any of your ideas this is a TF so no money would be made from these pictures let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you pics of myself and of some of the girls thanks

    This is a TF. What is a TF, you ask? I have no idea. I tried looking it up, and here’s the first two dozen or so matches:

    • Transformers (toy)
    • Transformation
    • Track & Field
    • Transferrin
    • Transmission Fluid (automotive)
    • Transflash Memory Card (mobile device)
    • Tooth Fairy
    • Turbofan
    • Trotteur Francais (France)
    • True Friends
    • Trap Flag
    • Too Funny
    • Trigger Finger (stenosing tendovaginitis)
    • Tuition Fee
    • Two Fluid
    • Testicular Feminization (reproductive pathology)
    • Trace Flag
    • Transmission Factor (radiation exposure)
    • Transit Facility
    • Tranche Ferme (Marchés Publics)
    • Terminal File
    • Transient Fault
    • Terminal Forecast
    • Type of Funds (USACE)
    • Thomas-Fermi Approximation

    None of these make any sense, of course, but I really hope it’s not the Tooth Fairy. Thanks for the post, Mike!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1767: Tear me down

    Demo guys needed commercial

    Demo guys
    I’m looking for demo guys that kill themselves no posers I’m only looking for the 1% 0f guys that give you 10 hrs work in a 8 hr day this is what I need .Do not bullshit me you will be fired the first day
    I am looking for the guys that want to work not feed a habit if you cannot lift at least 80 lbs on a regular basis beat it I’m sick of guys that say they can work and bitch and moan fuck you my team works hard and is a close nit bunch If you talk to much this crew is not for you we don’t speak we work no fat guys no drugs no bullshit drama with I don’t have a ride don’t have a hard hat don’t have boots fuck off this is real world if you want it work for it good … it will not be handed to you this is the military type job if you think you got what it takes reply

    I think I see why you have such a high turnover problem here, Sparky McBossypants. If you keep hiring guys that kill themselves, that may be why they don’t last too long in your “close nit bunch.” Or they may just not like all the nits. Plus, you have to spend so much time picking the nits. Do I want the lime nit, or the grape nit? Picking is hard. I prefer military type jobs, where I just get told which nits I want to pick.

    Thanks for the ad, some guy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1757: Hey, what’s this button for?

    doomesday preppers

    are you ready to take the next step

    I confess, the first three times I read this, I thought it said “doomsday peppers,” which I assume are basically like ghost peppers, but slightly hotter, such that consuming them brings about the end of the world. (They would only need to be slightly hotter than ghost peppers.)

    However, a more careful reading indicates that it’s actually “Doomesday” peppers. So these are clearly peppers which are used to record land ownership in England and Wales in the 11th century.

    Silly me.

    Thanks for the post, Mackenzie!