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YSaC, Vol. 1757: Hey, what’s this button for?

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dan

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doomesday preppers

are you ready to take the next step

I confess, the first three times I read this, I thought it said “doomsday peppers,” which I assume are basically like ghost peppers, but slightly hotter, such that consuming them brings about the end of the world. (They would only need to be slightly hotter than ghost peppers.)

However, a more careful reading indicates that it’s actually “Doomesday” peppers. So these are clearly peppers which are used to record land ownership in England and Wales in the 11th century.

Silly me.

Thanks for the post, Mackenzie!

Comments

47 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 1757: Hey, what’s this button for?”

  1. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Let Us Now Appraise Famous Men.

  2. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    It’s the end of the world as we know it.
    If you ask for specifics, you can stow it.
    It’s the end of the world as we know it,
    And I feel fine.

    1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
      MissMommyNiceNice

      Because I have enough expired food to feed an army!

      1. Brer Fox Avatar
        Brer Fox

        Is there enough to feed an army aunt?

    2. Ralph Avatar
      Ralph

      We’re Sgt. Prepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
      We hope you will enjoy the woe….

      1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
        Irregular Fractal

        It was twenty years ago today
        Nucl’r winter turned the skies to gray
        We’ve been running out of food for a while
        And are clothes have all gone out of style

        We’ll play a tune and then eat you
        Hope you’re tender after all these years
        Sergeant Prepper’s Doomesday Fun-Time Baaaaaaaa-hhaaa-aaand.

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          I didn’t know zombies had ear worms!

        2. Brer Fox Avatar
          Brer Fox

          Windy? Do ear worms cause you to scoot the side of your face across the carpet instead of your butt?

        3. One Moving Violation Avatar
          One Moving Violation

          I don’t think scooting your face across your butt is even possible, is it?

        4. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          One, Brer, CORNER!

  3. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Having made the same misread, I have established in my mind that a “Doomsday Pepper” is clearly a Dr. Moreau crossbreed of ipecacuanha and Carolina Reaper.

    The business of preparing for “doomsday” is clearly a personal one. This modern practice of then crowing about it to the four corners seems ill-advised. It rather smacks of keeping large sums of cash in easy-to-carry bags and letting that fact become public knowledge.

    But, I may be better prepared for such things, whether doomsday or domesday.

    1. D "Bug / Out" DM Avatar
      D “Bug / Out” DM

      I agree. I’m amazed at these people who let TV cameras walk through their fortresses and reveal their secret defense strategies and escape routes. But if they didn’t, the number of reality shows I watch would go down to 0.

      1. capnmac Avatar
        capnmac

        And, of course, the cache is not where the (idealized) bug-out location is, either.

        Not that Sparky has ever practiced a full-on, EOTWAWKI, bug out with all the gear and supplies and the like.

        If this is pointed out, the DPS (doomsday prepared sparkster) will oft simply say, “Well, we’ll just get another truck. ” If they notice the speculative glance about, “And another, if we need to.” After a raised eyebrow, “Well, [the 7 y/o] could drive. Some.”

  4. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
    MissMommyNiceNice

    Step 1 – watch FOX News constantly
    Step 2 – hoard ALL the food & guns
    Step 3 – take the red pill
    Step 4 – ???
    Step 5 – Profit! *

    *no seriously, you proclaim yourself a profit and start a cult

    1. Brer Fox Avatar
      Brer Fox

      Step 3 – take the red pill

      That’s not a suppository is it?
      You know, because doomsday preppers have food suppositories and water suppositories and ammo suppositories and gun suppositories and suppositories for their toiletries (a suppository for their TP, toothpaste, etc.) and fuel suppos….

      Um, I mean Depository.

      *facepaw*

  5. Ralph Avatar
    Ralph

    Be prepared.

    1. zero.nada.none. Avatar
      zero.nada.none.

      Be afraid….be VERY afraid……

      (and don’t eat M2N2’s expired food!)

    2. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      I would like to say at this time I am not now and have never been a member of the Boy Scouts of America.

      1. MissMommyNiceNice Avatar
        MissMommyNiceNice

        I’m a boy scout!

        1. One Moving Violation Avatar
          One Moving Violation

          I don’t think scouting for boys is the same thing.

  6. C"From Behind.....Suddenly"J Avatar
    C”From Behind…..Suddenly”J

    I, too, read “peppers” after the word “doomesday”, and thought…well, yeah…and it’s always the day after.

    1. nojazzhere Avatar
      nojazzhere

      What’s this thing called, love?

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        You thought Imissed this, didn’t you? CORNER!

        1. mudslicker Avatar
          mudslicker

          I only celebrate Do-Me-Day.

  7. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    When I read the post, I immediately thought “Doomsday Preppies” going to Doomsday University. I’m just wondering if the poster is the dean or a rival football team. Perhaps s/he’s their Science Professor.

    1. P-Rex Avatar
      P-Rex

      Take the next step to supervillainy.

    2. Demon Duck of Doom Avatar
      Demon Duck of Doom

      They’re hoarding all the lacrosse sticks, dammit. How are we supposed to fight off the zombies?

  8. limelolly Avatar
    limelolly

    Is Doomesday an entree or more like a side dish?

    I hate these cookbooks, they never give you all the steps at once.

    1. P-Rex Avatar
      P-Rex

      Appetizers – Doomsday Peppers

      You will need:
      Jalapeños (however many you want to make)
      Cream Cheese
      Thai Peppers (cut into slivers)(you can substitute Serrano Peppers for a milder taste)
      Cayenne Pepper powder

      Take Jalapeños and split open the length of the pepper.
      Squeeze open (like a coin purse), using a small spoon, scrape out the seeds.
      Fill Jalapeños with Cream Cheese until the split is about 3/4″ wide.
      Sprinkle Cream Cheese with Cayenne Pepper.
      Place 1 or 2 Thai Pepper slivers on top of Cream Cheese.
      Place on baking sheet.
      Place in pre-heated oven at 350º – 400º for 5 to 7 minutes. Do not cook the peppers through, but just enough to heat them up. (it brings out the sweetness in the pepper)

      Serve!

      No, I’ve never tried this. I just made it up. It is a modification of a Stuffed Jalapeño recipe I’ve used in the past. (Jalapeños, Cream Cheese, and shredded Cheddar)

      1. capnmac Avatar
        capnmac

        Lest you think you are merely teasing the boundaries of pepper absurd, there is a recipe for Habeñeros stuffed with cream cheese and either Ghost or Reaper pepper garnish.

        Rest (if possible) assured, there is almost no level of absurd in hot pepper preparations that has not been tested and gazetted as a recipe.

        1. P-Rex Avatar
          P-Rex

          I have no doubt. I even looked some up on the web. I just could not try something much hotter than the stuffed Jalapeño.

  9. One Moving Violation Avatar
    One Moving Violation

    They call him Prepper, Prepper
    Last of the living
    No one you see
    Can live quite like he.
    And we know that Prepper
    lives in a hole that’s a bunker
    drives an old clunker
    full of Twinkies.

    And we will know
    when doomsday does come
    we’ll stop making fun
    of Preparation H(e)
    What can we do?
    We had not a clue
    what the next step ought to be.

    They call him Prepper, Prepper
    Last of the living
    No one you see
    Can live quite like he.
    And we know that Prepper
    lives in a hole that’s a bunker
    drives an old clunker
    full of Twinkies.

  10. HamCan Avatar
    HamCan

    doomesday preppers

    ——————————————————————————–

    are you ready to take the next step
    Contact Cliff.

    There, fixed it.

  11. James Avatar
    James

    Corrections & Errata:

    Dan: The word is preppers not peppers. I saw the ‘r’ right away.

    Dave &c: I do not believe those are the correct lyrics to the American Rock band REM’s song.

    MissMommy: you wrote the wrong word the second time. it should read prophet.

    I would go on from there as I am sure that many more historical, political, and pop cultural inaccuracies abound herein upon the section. Of. Commentary.

    Hello everybody! I was trying to be the hyper literal unfunny commentator but then I forgot Poe’s Law (again) sorry about that people who misunderstood my “humor”.

    But as they say, when in Rome, assassinate the head of state!

    1. camille Avatar
      camille

      James, around here, the hyper literal unfunny commentator is known as “Corey.” The original Corey can be found in the comments to this post.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        I thought James was going for the title. After all, he’s around and we haven’t seen Corey in a coon’s age.

        How long is that, anyone? Beuhler?

        1. limelolly Avatar
          limelolly

          I’m not sure, but my ‘coon’ is old enough to need support hose and adult diapers. :/

          Dangnabbit, git offen mah lawn!

    2. capnmac Avatar
      capnmac

      [corey]We also engage in purposeful misidentification for purposes of satire. We also engage in spoonerisms, dubious portmanteaux, and sore abused Shakespearean soliloquizes. We’ve been known to break out in haiku, too.

      What we generally do not do is to identify large predatory African felinidae as being either ice green nor as Asian Panthera tigris.

      Oh, and we also willfully misconstruct html codes for our own purposes, too. [/corey]

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        *hands around tubes of haiku cream* this happens every time Taco sneaks in those jalepenyo pepper coffee slices.

  12. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    MandaB and Hammy, this is just like old times! I think. I can almost remember old times. I can almost remember yesterday. Here’s what I haven’t forgotten. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Yep, same bleeding and flipping me off.

    Good Morning, Dromedary Pipers!

    1. One Moving Violation Avatar
      One Moving Violation

      Dumbsday peepers.

      *rolls eyes*

    2. MandaB Avatar
      MandaB

      Thank you, ma’am! May I have another?

      I’m just going to clean up Hammy’s corner of the box and stay for another night. It’s cozy in here.

      1. HamCan Avatar
        HamCan

        Just don’t erase the programs from the DVR…

  13. MandaB Avatar
    MandaB

    I like the doomesday jockers and greasers and nerders better than the doomesday preppers. I hate their end of the world Lacoste shirts with their stupid little alligators.

  14. SilvaNoir Avatar
    SilvaNoir

    Nice literal use of the “humanity is doomed” tag

  15. mudslicker Avatar
    mudslicker

    And here I thought this was a colonoscopy reference.

    Never mind and carry on.

    1. nojazzhere Avatar
      nojazzhere

      KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON…….there, fixed it for ya.

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