YSaC, Vol. 1797: Gotta get movin' to a clown that's right for me.

2014 December 19

safety issue


Is it safe, to allow your kids to eat candy flavored chap stick?

My son, eats about 3 containers a day, of various flavored lip balm sticks. He particularly likes the blueberry flavored chap sticks.

He says they give him super powers. So idk? He did survive being hit by a moped, and he didn't break a bone. And the clowns moped was totaled. So I'm beginning to wonder.

Chapstick Connoisseur is my Lipps, Inc. cover band.

What super powers would chapstick consumption convey? The ability to ...

Okay, wait a minute. Seriously -- you just know that the dancers in that video have had nightmares about this gig ever since, especially the poor girl designated the lead funky-seeker. I mean, she is not in any way funky, and she could really use an escort to somewhere that would provide her with the recommended daily allowance of funky to ameliorate her funkyless condition, but I'm not sure this was the best way to entice someone who has an excess of funky and the means to provide transport to allow her to accompany them on their journey.

I seem to have gotten distracted. Look, a clown on a moped! *crash* oops.

Thanks, mc l!

29 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 December 19

    Dear Sparky:

    Have some of the green apple Chapstick. Someone on Yahoo! Answers said that it'll give you the superpower of super intelligence.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 December 19
      nojazzhere permalink

      I don't know about Chapstick and super powers, but I've found that eating the strawberry/banana Preparation H definitely helps with weight loss....don't ask how I found this out.....

      Adores: 4
  2. 2014 December 19
    Yancy permalink

    My wife has a super power. She can cradle our hungry daughter in her arms for a while and when she puts her down, our little girl isn't hungry any more. I don't know how she does it. Maybe she eats some of that diaper cream we put on babby's bumbum.

    Adores: 6
  3. 2014 December 19

    Did that video seem to go on forever and ever? Almost four minutes of my life I won't get back, and it seemed like years.

    In other news, WHY would you seek medical advice on CL? Go to your doctor, call Poison Control, act like an adult!

    TGINS. (Thank God I'm Not Sparky)

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 December 19
      Yancy permalink

      I don't think Sparky asking for medical advice from CL is the biggest concern. I think the biggest concern is that this person is beginning to wonder if the son surviving with no broken bones a hit from a moped is due to consumption of chapstick.

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 December 19
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      At least take it on Facebook like the rest of us.

      I don't know if Sparky Jr's lack of broken bones can be attributed to his Chapstick diet, but I'll bet he's not constipated.

      Adores: 4
    • 2014 December 19
      Capn Mac permalink

      Uhh, three per day?
      At about a buck each.
      So sparkiimom has noticed spending $21 ($25 in sparikiimaths) a week on her kid's beeswax habit?

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 December 19
        Irregular Fractal permalink

        Well, the upside is that kid's got a digestive track that's greased better than the engine of a new-off-the-line Corvette.

        Adores: 3
    • 2014 December 19

      Dan said the same thing when I showed him the video! He said, "At first I thought, 'I don't remember this song being that long.' Then I looked at the progress bar and realized it wasn't really that long .... the video just makes it SEEM that way."

      Adores: 2
    • 2014 December 19
      Meg permalink

      I liked Towlie's version on the keypad better...

      Adores: 1
  4. 2014 December 19

    Dave, put your cat snakes back in your trousers, and take this token of my affection. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Put a little Chapstick on that, and it will heal faster.

    Good Morning, Funky Chickens!

    Adores: 4
  5. 2014 December 19
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Craigslist medical advice. When you're too dumb to go to Web MD and self-diagnose with cancer like the rest of us.

    Adores: 5
  6. 2014 December 19

    Worst. Music. Video. Ever.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 December 19
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      Oh CJ, you've led such a sheltered life.

      Here ya go.

      Adores: 5
      • 2014 December 19

        Nope. Still worse than that.

        Adores: 2
        • 2017 January 9

          Thanks for that! It's just the answer I nedeed.

          Adores: 0
        • 2017 January 29

          Ach, uwielbiam fotomixy! :) najfajniejsze zdjęcia to moim zdaniem halloween i DIY! (nie wiem czy nie popsułoby to fotek, ale chyba wygodniej gdyby zdjęcia były ponumerowane)Co do czapki z ćwiekami to też póki jestem ostrożna w ocenie, ale z niecierpliwością czekam na pełną stylizację :]

          Adores: 0
        • 2017 February 8

          Et råd mod skamfiling af tov. (I stedet for stof eller lærred/ sejldug,) så er rådet at kappe et stykke plast slange i lidt større dia. end tovet, brug ca. 30 cm. og sikre med en eller to slangeklemmer så det ikke forskubber sig. Det er godt at slide på i halekæben, Og skåner tovet.Godt at høre alt går vel, og at motor kører godt. Ønsker jer alt vel.

          Adores: 0
        • 2017 February 9

          Quote from Yiorgios: "Food stamps and other stimulus programs help to reach full capacity." How can you possible know what full capacity of anything is? All the money in the world could be focused exclusively on growing apples and nothing else. Would that be full capacity?

          Adores: 0
    • 2014 December 19

      That's fighting talk where I come from.

      (Funky Town. Obviously.)

      Adores: 1
  7. 2014 December 19
    Brer Fox permalink

    Maybe Sparkette should stop buying candy flavored Chapstick...

    ...and send me all of the chicken flavored Chapstick.

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 December 19
      Ninja Chow permalink

      Chicken flavored Chapstick? Is this like the create a new flavor of Lay's contest? Hm, steak, lobster, turkey dinner? I think I'll just submit my idea for poutine flavored Chapstick.

      Adores: 2
      • 2014 December 19

        Like baby food. They make some really horrendous baby foods these days. "Turkey dinner" "Tuna salad."

        Adores: 2
      • 2017 January 10

        Jeg kunne tydeligt se det! Allerede ved første billede tænkte jeg, at det var nogle flotte billeder. Også bare settingen med svensk landidyl og pæn pige (dame? kvinde? Quinde?) i pæn kjole er med til at gøre binrdeelle rigtig gode.

        Adores: 0
      • 2017 February 12

        I don’t regret not doing something, but there are things that I missed out on. My situation was a little different, so I didn’t get to travel or really experience much first.Kimberly’s last awesome post…

        Adores: 0
  8. 2014 December 19

    That's not how you get super powers. You get them by - oh, just a moment, the minions are trying to get my attention...

    *frantic whispering*

    Sorry, I could tell you, Sparky, but then I'd have to kill you. You know how it is.

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 December 19
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I know, right? Now if it were radioactive chapstick...

      Perhaps I've said too much.

      Adores: 2
  9. 2014 December 20
    Jeanann permalink

    Why was the clown on a moped?

    Adores: 5
  10. 2014 December 21
    Ralph permalink

    lipbalmanonymous.com

    Adores: 1

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