You suck at Craigslist, Vol. III

2008 August 19

In the last three days, someone has posted the same hideous “lion and giraffe” pictures three times, with increasing hilarity.

Listing #1:

lion and giraffe – $30


Date: 2008-08-16, 8:30AM EDT

these are really expensive pics, u can go look at them in the finger hut magazine from last year, they cost about 300.00 new. i want 30 for the set.there 3 foot long and 3 feet wide, very nice. email me if intereted

Point 1: Um, that’s not a lion.
Point 2: It doesn’t matter how much you paid for them.
Point 3: The “finger hut magazine” is a sure indicator of high quality. It’s right up there with the Lillian Vernon catalog.
Point 4: 3 foot long and 3 foot wide, huh? So they’re square, is what you’re saying? Okay.

Listing #2:

giraffe and lion pic – $35


Date: 2008-08-17, 9:09AM EDT

these are very expensive . they were bought last year through avon there cost about 300.00 dollars new there about 3 feet long and 2 feet wide, sell the as a set,thats how they were bought, pleas email me if intterested

Point 1: Still not a lion.
Point 2: So you’re relisting them, and asking MORE than your original listing?
Point 3: Oh, they were bought through Avon?
Point 4: Now they’re 3 feet long and 2 feet wide.
Point 5: Sell as a set? Would anyone really want just one of those?

Listing #3:

giraffe and lion pic – $35


Date: 2008-08-18, 9:23AM EDT

these are very expensive brand new, they were bought last year but never used, they were bought from avon, i want 35 for the pair of them . there about 4 feet long and 3 feet wide . please email me if interested

Point 1: STILL not a lion.
Point 2: Never used? Um, they’re wall hangings, right? They’re hanging on a wall in the photo, right?
Point 3: Now they’re 4 feet long and 3 feet wide.

Seriously: Not A Lion. And if you paid $300 for those …

54 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 October 2

    wow. just. wow.

    Adores: 11
  2. 2008 December 13

    “But they are three feet long and three feet wide,” he said. “Look.”

    He held the lion picture that looked curiously like a tiger vertically and said, “Three feet long, and…”

    He then turned the picture on its side.

    “Three feet wide! Oh, wait. It’s four feet wide.”

    Adores: 98
    • 2008 December 14
      drmk permalink

      His disciple nodded. “Surely you are wise in the ways of measurement.”

      Adores: 59
  3. 2008 December 20

    OK, I actually started to cry when I read “STILL not a lion”.

    Adores: 20
  4. 2008 December 28
    Valerie permalink

    Oh my gosh, This is my favorite thing I’ve seen on herer.

    Adores: 13
  5. 2008 December 28
    valerie's mom permalink

    You s— at leaving comments. That’s h-e-r-e. But you’re a great kid for showing me this!

    Adores: 43
  6. 2009 January 16
    Alcoholic Synonymous permalink

    Ha! Valerie’s mom had to take her to task for her spelling, but can’t bring herself to spell out the word, “suck.” What a cute mom!

    Adores: 31
  7. 2009 May 16
    Valerie permalink

    yeah mom is cute that way…

    Adores: 19
  8. 2009 June 12

    I have when people say, “I paid $x for this” or “It cost $x new.” Like you said — doesn’t matter. A $40,000 car turns into a $30,000 as soon as you drive it off the lot.

    Adores: 5
    • 2009 September 22
      polluxdc permalink

      That’s awesome — “A $40,000 car into a $30,000 as soon as you drive it off the lot.” A $30,000 what, head of cabbage, pink flamingo…I guess it depends on the car.

      Adores: 12
  9. 2009 June 12

    That should say “hate,” obviously.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2009 June 20
    Windrose permalink

    I was just wondering, any chance it’s finally turned into a lion? Cause you see I’m reading this months later, and who knows? It could happen.

    Adores: 91
  11. 2009 July 8

    hahahahahahahahahahaahaha !!!

    Fantastic!

    Adores: 4
  12. 2009 July 8
    kelli permalink

    It turns into a lion at night, but the picture was taken during the day obviously.

    Adores: 23
  13. 2009 July 13
    Kitty permalink

    Okay, this is seriously the best one I have seen yet. I am laughing so hard.

    Adores: 4
  14. 2009 July 15
    Elizabeth permalink

    If you squint really hard then it almost looks like a lion.

    Adores: 6
  15. 2009 August 1
    Gary permalink

    This one is still my favorite.

    Adores: 2
  16. 2009 August 3

    This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Ever.

    Adores: 2
  17. 2009 August 11
    neuralstatic permalink

    so if you hung them in different rooms, their dimensions would be 3foot x 52foot.

    Adores: 24
  18. 2009 August 13
    Jenna permalink

    Oh great, you have me laughing so hard at work I am crying!

    LMAO

    I will turn to your site in lieu of wine and xanax…which I take while admiring the lion wall hanging I just bought…and the more I drink the more it looks like a… oh crap!

    Adores: 10
  19. 2009 August 13

    But look… he eventually learned how to spell ‘interested’…. yay!

    Adores: 2
  20. 2009 August 19
    Caro permalink

    Has no one yet pointed out that the giraffe and the not-a-lion are native to different continents? I wonder when Fingerhut/Avon is going to offer cheesy matching wall hangings of a giraffe and a koala.

    Adores: 9
  21. 2009 August 25
    kaylie permalink

    beyond hilarious. this is my favorite one. this is actually the first thing I’ve commented so far just because this post is so epic. love it :]

    Adores: 4
  22. 2009 August 29

    …and really, Avon and Fingerhut are where you want to get your home furnishings. Those would coordinate wonderfully with my “Classic Hollywood Monsters” collector plates.

    Adores: 7
  23. 2009 September 2
    Wings permalink

    I just want to point out, for those who are interested, that over one year later…

    Still. Not. A. Lion.

    Hope springs eternal…

    Adores: 15
    • 2009 September 21
      Heather permalink

      I also like how the price increases with the last post. The pictures started out at $30, but then the person listing changed the price to $35 when they didn’t sell…? Is this some kind of weird Craigslist psychology here, you know: increase the price in order to increase the perceived value? Nah, I can’t give them that much credit.

      Adores: 1
  24. 2009 September 21
    pixie721 permalink

    I don’t see what the problem is. Of course that is a lion. It isn’t a white lion, like the one that mauled Roy, but it is clearly a lion. Y’all are blind.

    I am baffled by the measurements, because I need to know if they apply to each picture or to both pictures together. I also need to know why they keep changing. Are these magic wall hangings?

    Adores: 2
  25. 2009 September 22
    Leela permalink

    maybe he figured out how to spell interested, but he still couldn’t figure out they’re vs there.

    Adores: 0
  26. 2009 September 22
    Kate permalink

    This is hilarious. Absolutley hilarious. I love this website. :)

    Adores: 0
  27. 2009 September 27
    Rob permalink

    Guys guys guys, this is very simple. It all goes along with furniture physics. There’s a theory that the Universe is constantly expanding! This obviously helps prove that fact, since there is definite exponential growth in these “lyin’ (lion)” pictures.

    I’m sorry, that last pun was unnecessary..

    Adores: 4
  28. 2009 September 28
    DMarie permalink

    The comments are as funny as this post – thanks for making me smile on such a crappy day at work.

    Adores: 1
  29. 2009 September 30
    Rachel Scantland permalink

    Wow, just confirms why our country is in the shape it is in. Can’t see, spell, measure, or calculate! Wonder where they’re from?

    Adores: 2
  30. 2009 October 10

    I would gladly pay 300 for these..

    Adores: 1
  31. 2009 November 9

    Finger Hut?!?! Do they even SELL stuff for $300? When I was in college many years ago, I ordered a set of knives from them for $19.95. Fine cutlery, they were not. And who they hell buys paintings from Avon? Perfume, nail polish etc. okay, but….

    Adores: 0
  32. 2009 December 16
    Genesee Gatewood permalink

    If the TIGER turns into a lion occasionally, I’d pay about 15.

    Adores: 1
  33. 2009 December 30
    qualityleashdog permalink

    Hah! I remember Fingerfuck, and my mom’s trials and tribulations with them! No, these pictures don’t actually retail for $300, but the lister must be accounting for the interests and fees the average customer would accumulate while in the process of paying for them, which will wind you up near $300.

    Anyone else have the Teddy Bear with a Blue Ribbon pattern for dishes or linens when they were a kid? Heartwarming, no?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 January 30
      wanda permalink

      i am actually collecting the teddy bear set now and i am obsessed with it

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 February 3
        Windrose permalink

        Wanda, have you tried an ad on Craigslist? Just a thought.

        Adores: 2
  34. 2010 February 3
    Angel permalink

    i really couldnt stop laughing…. hahahaha this is some hilarious s*** hahahaha

    Adores: 0
  35. 2010 March 10

    Since when is name-dropping AVON a selling point?

    Adores: 1
  36. 2010 March 11
    anonymouse. permalink

    duh. those are Moravian lions. the uncultured call them tigers. … or maybe it’s a liger, after all you can’t see all of it..

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 31
      D / DM permalink

      @anonymouse,
      Indeed. From those paintings, I have absolutely no idea whether that animal has skills in magic.

      Adores: 0
    • 2012 September 15
      lvocean11 permalink

      I think that’s a “moron”ian lion… I’m still torn between actual CL postings and comments not sure which are funnier! : )

      Adores: 0
  37. 2010 April 21
    Jen permalink

    I’d like to buy the giraffe wall hanging! Where can I buy this? (Other than Fingerhut and Avon, of course.)

    Adores: 0
  38. 2010 April 26

    SOMEWHAT OFFICALESQUE PROCLAMATION OF THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO ASTROGNASH

    COPYCATTING Windrose’s proprosal on You suck at Criaglsist, Vol. I, and

    MARKING that Windrose’s proposal was both great and wondrous,

    RECOGNIZING this posting as a historical landmark to be preserved for all time, as the originator of one of YSaC’s most prominent and famous “meme”s,

    WE HEREBY DECREE this posting to be the 42nd wonder of the world, right before Ringo Starr’s nose, and right after LMGTFY,

    on this, the Twenty-Sixth day of April, in the year Two Thousand and Ten of our Lord Llama-Nun.

    Again, we apologize for the crossing out. The Congo is no better at China than this, really.

    Adores: 7
  39. 2010 July 19
    Evan permalink

    I had tears coming out of my eyes by the second listing

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 July 19
      Jen permalink

      Wait till you get to the mine hores – they’ll have tears coming out of all _sorts_ of places!!

      Adores: 1
  40. 2011 September 17
    texjoy permalink

    I think I’ll wait a few more days…when they grow a little bigger

    Adores: 0
  41. 2013 August 16
    Nor permalink

    Isn’t that a zebra?

    Adores: 1
  42. 2013 November 3
    Kati Strong permalink

    I’m literally laughing out loud, and hoping I won’t wake my husband up while I do.

    Adores: 0
  43. 2014 June 30

    Thanks for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your next post
    thanks once again.

    Adores: 0

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