YSaC, Vol. 209: Shouldn’t we have prevented the Germans, instead?

2009 February 12

4 pcs french preventional dining room set – $275


China cabinet and serving/buffet table in great condition
table and 6 chairs.
the table has a leaf, the chairs all need to be re-apolsterd.
cash and carry xxx-xxx-xxxx

That “thud” sound you hear is me banging my head on the desk. Repeatedly.

As if French Prudential wasn’t bad enough, now we have French Preventional. What, exactly, are they preventing? Whatever it is, they’re French — it won’t work! It will be like the Maginot Line of furniture. The chairs will launch an aerial assault on the china cabinet and the buffet table will surrender immediately.

37 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 February 12

    Could you bang this person’s head against your desk instead of your own…?

    Adores: 15
  2. 2009 February 12
    Carlos permalink

    Priceless…

    I’m sure it will be French Provisional next!

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 February 12
    TeDiouS permalink

    well, I figure “Preventional” at least sounds closer to Provincial than “Prudential” does…

    But as for the chairs that need to be re-apolsterd (it took me three tries to type it that wrong!) – where does one go for apolstery work? Must be a specialized field, I would think. Those damned preventional french and their fancy apolstery…going to cost a fortune to get it done.

    Adores: 2
    • 2013 March 31
      ktoui permalink

      I think its going to cost a fortune to “get’er done” ;-}

      Adores: 0
  4. 2009 February 12
    Are you ok? permalink

    Don’t hit your head too hard, you might need to be re-apolsterd.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 September 23

      서먼드는 1990년대에도 고령에 이르렀는데도 계속 활

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 2
        Spaceman.Spiff permalink

        Looks like hangul to me.

        Adores: 1
  5. 2009 February 12
    Are you ok? permalink

    TeDiouS: LOL

    Adores: 0
  6. 2009 February 12
    candace permalink

    LMAO…that is too funny.

    Adores: 0
  7. 2009 February 12

    The re-apolsterd made me stop and LAUGH.

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 February 12
    Random Person permalink

    I don’t know, TeDiouS. I was just thinking about that myself, and I sort of feel like “prudential” is a better overall match. Same number of syllables, same stress pattern. But I was also thinking, “at least this one managed to pick a word with ‘v’ in it.”

    Adores: 1
  9. 2009 February 13

    If this picture series constitutes the Maginot Line, what would the Germans send? Obviously, heavy black forest hutches would override the line in days.

    Of course, the American recliners would soon come to save the French, proclaiming, “Lafayette, we are here!”

    Adores: 10
  10. 2009 February 13
    rolyole permalink

    I believe there has been a mis-hyphen, it should be reapoles-turd.

    Adores: 4
  11. 2009 February 15

    This was hilarious … especially your quip about the “Maginot Line of furniture.”

    Adores: 1
  12. 2009 March 11
    Dindrane permalink

    Maybe the chairs are heretical and need to be re-apostled? Do you need a priest to handle that, or just a good dunking in a nearby spring?

    Adores: 5
  13. 2009 March 12
    beware_the_spoon permalink

    I like that it is a 4 piece set with 6 chairs.
    Math Fail.

    Adores: 12
    • 2011 October 22
      Janellionaire permalink

      Maybe the “pcs” meant “pictures.” There are four pictures, after all. Could be we’re reading this all wrong, and they are actually just selling snapshots of some crappy old furniture.

      Adores: 0
  14. 2009 April 12
    El Kev permalink

    Damn! beware_the_spoon stole my comment.

    Adores: 0
  15. 2009 June 24

    I am not sure what was funnier, the ad’s speeling or the text accompanying the post, but I burst out laughing. This preventional furniture will also prevent illness through the use of laughter therapy.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2010 January 21
    JMeister permalink

    This isn’t the same guy that was responsible for “The Table”, is it?

    Adores: 0
  17. 2011 October 2
    Karmyn permalink

    Why do people keep trying to prevent the French? They’ve been around a long time now. They may eat weird things and hate others, but they’re not going anywhere.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 2

      I hear that French preventional furniture is all the rage in certain parts of London.

      Adores: 3
  18. 2011 October 2

    We tried to prevent the French. We failed. I’m sorry, guys.

    Adores: 5
  19. 2011 October 2

    “Inglourious Apolsterds”

    Nazi-hating furniture behind enemy lines in WWII.

    Adores: 3
  20. 2011 October 2

    OK, got an “Out of Memory at Line 17″ error with the edit.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 2
      Windrose permalink

      Congratulations, you win a day of free intertubes!

      Adores: 3
  21. 2011 October 2
    Windrose permalink

    Mademoiselle has furniture, parley vous?
    All of the chairs need apolstering, parley vous?
    Mademoiselle is selling things
    She thinks they’re French, she’s such a *ding*
    Hinky dinky parley vous!

    Adores: 5
  22. 2011 October 2
    Windrose permalink

    Today the box is full with Sister Mary Rudabaga and Dave and Ferret Tribe. I was thinking up an Owl and Ferret poem, but the pea green boat made me giggle too much.

    Adores: 2
  23. 2011 October 3
    Windrose permalink

    Well, that was a. . .day. Sister Mary Rudy and Duh-aaayyyyee-veeee, here are your matched Punchity Punch Punches!

    G’Night, Virginia Schmitz!

    Adores: 1
  24. 2012 May 11
    Dick Goesinya permalink

    Your site is garbage… seriously it isn’t even kind of funny. You are a fucking moron and should spend your time looking at stuff that is creative rather than waste your time here trying to be creative. Perhaps I should simplify it for you; not everybody is cut to be an astronaut. Make sense to you? Your not cut out for online creativity.

    I stumbled on this shit blog today and spent all of 20 minutes trying to find something to laugh at, then it hit me. The irony is you. In fact, you are so lame that I laugh at your existence.

    The best you can come up with is playing grammar police on a back page swap meet site?

    You should hang yourself.

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 May 11
      mud "bookish-y" slicker permalink

      No worries!!!! Look at the file you’re on……February 12, 2009.

      And it’s YOU’RE dipshit!!!

      Adores: 0
      • 2012 May 11

        I gotta say, one of the best things about running a blog (or co-authoring one, at least) are the crazy ass-people/trolls.

        So much fun to play with.

        Too bad my primary blog has only had one crazy person… and I’m pretty sure it was just a malfunctioning spambot at that.

        Adores: 0
    • 2012 May 11

      Umadbro?

      Adores: 1
  25. 2012 May 11
    Dick Goesinya permalink

    @ mud “bookish-y” slicker

    good me good fucker. Wow total blast on YOUR part.

    Do the world a favor and die

    Adores: 0
  26. 2012 May 11

    Please no feeding the trolls, it disrupts their ability to feed on their own and may cause them to abandon their young. Trolls who become dependent upon being fed may become aggressive. Our food may harm some troll’s digestive systems.

    Do not look trolls directly in the eyes as this can be perceived as a challenge or threat. When viewing trolls, please stay behind marked enclosures and do not place children on top of safety fences to help them see better.

    Do not use flash photography on the trolls, this can startle them and cause aggression.

    Do not get trolls wet or they will spontaneously divide asexually.

    Do not allow trolls to feed after midnight or they will undergo metamorphosis into ogres.

    Do not provide trolls with 1.21 gigawatts of power.

    Do not respond to trolls if addressed, rather talk about them as if they are not here, or in the third person such as: “Hey, did you see what the troll did” or “We’ve got somebody trolling, I wonder who it is.”

    This has been a public service announcement. In a real troll emergency there would have been a side of breadsticks.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 September 14
      funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

      1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!

      I’ve been in line, waiting patiently, since May for my breadsticks. Please advise.

      Apparantly the only folks that don’t like YSaC are Dicks.

      Adores: 1

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