YSaC, Vol. 657: Meat the Gerberts!

2010 May 5
by drmk

30 meat gerberts


they are # 2 all meat will take any donation xxx-xxxx

Here at the Save the Gerberts Foundation, we are very disappointed to see that people are offering gerberts for meat. These tasty, tasty gerberts … oh, sorry, where was I? These adorable little creatures are good for so much more than their delicious and meaty hind quarters. For example, they’re good with children, the elderly, and a light peanut sauce.

The #2 variety of gerberts are specially bred for their temperament and rescue animal skills; it’s a shame that people can’t see past them rotating on a barbeque spit to enjoy them for the warm, juicy thigh meat that they are … oops, I mean, warm, loving companion animal, of course.

This message has been brought to you by the Save the Gerberts Foundation.

*urp*

Thanks, Alexandra!

264 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 May 5

    I swear I read that twice and still saw “gerbils”.

    This.Is.Most.Disturbing.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I Googled “gerberts” and found;
      a Christian-based children’s TV show featuring a puppet by the same name, and
      the original name of Pope Sylvester II, born in 946.

      I find both equally as disturbing as “gerbils”. I don’t think there would be as much meat on a gerbil as on a pope, but it’s probably a bit gamy by now. I don’t even want to think about a puppet made of meat.

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        Heh heh. I have a meat puppet!

        .

        Seriously, he’s made out of bacon.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          Bacontini permalink

          Stop calling Bacontini “your little meat puppet”. It very uncomfortable making.

          Adores: 21
        • 2010 May 5
          Topper permalink

          Yeah, I’m the only one allowed to call him that!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          I, for one, found that learning that Taco has a bacon-flavored “meat puppet” way too much information. And very disturbing. And that Topper humors his “meat puppet” fantasy adds to the discomfort.

          Imagine this conversation taking place at Taco’s favorite martini bar:

          TM: Hey good looking, want to come back to my place and slice some bacon? I’ve got a hot griddle you can slide on.

          Topper: Excuse me – are you talking to me? Because if you are, I want you to know that I’m not that kind of person. Are you even kosher?

          TM: No, No – it wasn’t me. It was just my little “meat puppet” I keep in my pocket- want to see?

          Taco picks himself up off the floor and puts puppet back where it belongs…..

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 5
        Lola permalink

        Sylvester is defintely an upgrade in terms of papal monikers. Everybody knows Sylvester the cat, but I didn’t know about that Gerbert puppet.* It’s all about name recognition, people!

        *Yeah, I know, real-life retcon – not possible. Humor me.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        Windrose permalink

        But Meat Puppets would make a decent band name. Too bad we don’t know any decent bands!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          The Meat Puppets is a band name.

          /indie-corey

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          Forget to take your Irony supplements today, Goddess Bianchi Company?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Bianchi Irony Sound permalink

          Me? My middle name is “Irony.” I thought that the /corey tag would make that clear.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 5
        Meredith permalink

        Oh, SJ, I have to hate you for the rest of the day now. Why, oh WHY did you have to remind me of Gerbert?!!! Oh, the memories….the terrible memories….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Oh dear, I think I broke Meredith.
          Blame Google, I’ve never heard of Puppet-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Perhaps she was aaaahhhh-ing about the Pope-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He might have had a puppet (and yes, that is more than just a little creepy).

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Lola, please pass Meredith the flask of Tea….

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        Jen permalink

        ‘Meat puppet’ is slang for actors and extras on tv/film sets. As is ‘warm prop’. Usually used by crew after said meat puppets / warm props have retreated to their green rooms / trailers because they’ve been on set a WHOLE half hour and now need to rest. Shockingly it’s not a term of endearment.

        That said, all I can think of is the Donner family.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I think of a painful sexual act that requires a clenched carpal matrix.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          A little voice in my head is telling me not to ask.

          I will ask, however, if I want to know what a Carpal Matrix is, and does it have anything to do with Carpal Tunnel?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 6
          TacoMagic permalink

          Carpal Matrix is what my anatomy professor called the hand when he wanted to be obtuse.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      Paging Richard Gere.

      Adores: 1
  2. 2010 May 5
    Windrose permalink

    I understand a jar of gerberts #2 is considered an objet de art in some circles. Some museums have huge collections of these. I think it’s nasty, but I’m not an art connosewer,

    Adores: 0
  3. 2010 May 5
    Sue D. Nymme permalink

    Mechanic under car: “Frank! Hand me a #2 gerbert, wouldja?”

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 May 5
      Windrose permalink

      Welcome back, Sue! If that is your real name.

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 5
      TacoMagic permalink

      Apparently I need to read the comments before making my own. I guess I’m not the only one who saw #2 gerbert and thought, “I use that on my car!”

      Adores: 0
  4. 2010 May 5
    Innana permalink

    Meat gerberts, Meat gerberts, where on earth did you go?
    Meat gerberts, Meat gerberts, God why don’t I know?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 5
      Windrose permalink

      Did you name yours Timothy? 8)

      Adores: 1
  5. 2010 May 5
    Windrose permalink

    One of my ads is for a meat basket. Doesn’t list any gerbert, though. Them little dudes are really tasty!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’m getting “Boats for sale.” WTF?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        I’m getting “Create flash websites, GO!”.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Mmm. Barbeque chicken recipes (All natural!)

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 5

      I’m getting a donate your car to charity ad…weird.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 5
      Lola permalink

      I’m getting an ad for a meat smoker. Hickory or applewood-smoked gerberts – that’s good eatin’!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 5
        Innana permalink

        Lola! dropped g’s and your avatar just don’t seem to go together…

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          I’m sure Catherine Deneuve can drop a g if the situation warrants.
          How about:
          [ironic delivery]
          That’s good eatin’!
          [/irony]

          8)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          I hear: “ze hickory or ze applewood-smoke gairbairs—zat’s good eatinn!”

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 May 5
      Meredith permalink

      Uhhh, I’m getting a Netflix ad with a picture of Hannibal Lecter. Nice tie in there, ad machine!

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 May 5
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I’m getting one for weight loss. It apparently thinks I ate too many gerberts.

      Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 5
      Grampdaddy permalink

      I have “Women Like You – Find your Love Here” – not sure what it has to do with Gerberts, but it is another thing I don’t want to know

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 5
        Lola permalink

        I love the ambiguity. You can’t tell if it means that you are someone who is liked by women and can find a specific person to love you, or if women such as yourself (you, Grampdaddy!) can find love.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Well…… for years, I have been working on getting in touch with my feminine side. Although I really prefer to touch a feminine side.

          [Please do not mention to Mrs. Grampdaddy] Thank you!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          You know, a feminine side doesn’t necessarily need to be feminine. Be careful with your words, Grampdaddy!

          Adores: 0
  6. 2010 May 5
    B....... permalink

    Obviously just some Erbert and Gerbert’s #2s THE HALLEYS COMET (Prime roast beef, lettuce, tomato, and real Hellmanns mayonnaise). But how fresh can they be?

    Adores: 0
  7. 2010 May 5
    whit nestor .tanks permalink

    This is tasteless. I recognized this as English as a second language for something you wouldln’t eat if you knew the real name. While in Spanish the word is usually “el callos para los yanquis”, we often see “gerberts” here in Minnesota.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 5
      Windrose permalink

      No, no, no, Matt was in El Paso! Get it right. Or are you saying these gerberts were smuggled in from Canada?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        whit nestor .tanks permalink

        Hey, now you are really obtuse. Minnesota is a word you often see here, though in Spanish it’s also called “Mexico.”

        Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          Camille permalink

          Clearly “Gerbert” would be pronounced “Herbert” in Spanish. Therefore, what this poster is offering is #2 Herberts (which are not quite as sharp as #2 pencils) for meat. I recognized this as cannibalism as a second language.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Here in Mexico, we often see the word “Canada” used to represent the country “Mexico”.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          Gerbert! Gerbert! Gerbert! Gerbert!

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Trek reference FTW!! Yay, brother!

          On a side note, I briefly considered calling my company Sevrin Sound, but figured it was too obscure a reference, and that I’d have to explain the name constantly.

          Then again, I thought about ACME sound, just so i could paint my truck like the Road Runner cartoon delivery vans.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5

          Wait, “Bianchi Sound” is a company, not a people???

          MY MIND IS BLOWN

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          And here I thought it was Redjac! Redjac! Redjac! Redjac!

          I forgot about Herbert…

          *nice one Isaac–you’re a god*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          No, we are like Soylent Green. Mostly people and some by-products (mostly gerberts…)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Windrose permalink

          I’m not obtuse, my feathers are just fluffed.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Flea Bailey permalink

          Dear Sir: F.I.V. Edoardo Bianchi S.p.A. is the world’s oldest bicycle making company, having been founded in Italy in 1885. Widespread use of the Bianchi trade mark has been made, to the extent that this trademark has acquired an extensive reputation and goodwill. The Bianchi trademark is, accordingly, also a well-known mark for all relevant purposes of trademark law. It has come to our attention that you are using the Bianchi name in a manner that is confusingly and/or deceptively similar to our Bianchi trademark and also constitutes a reproduction or imitation thereof. Under these circumstances, your use of the Bianchi trademark will constitute an infringement of our registered and common law rights. Therefore, we demand that you immediately:
          1. cease all use of the trademark;
          2. deliver-up for destruction all material to which the trademark or any other mark confusingly or deceptively similar to our trademark has been applied;
          3. withdraw, cancel and/or delete any corporate names, domain names, trademark applications and/or trademark registrations for or including the trademark;
          4. undertake, in writing, never in future to make any use of the trademark without prior written authority from us, whether within any corporate name, trading name, trading style, domain name or otherwise.
          We await to hear from you by no later than close of business on May 5, 2010.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          Ahhh, I love lawyers. Did you send this letter to Kenneth Bianchi too, for sullying your name? Or does that cat just look rich to you? 8)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Were’s MonkeyPants when we need him?!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          To: Flea Bailey

          re: Cease and Desist Notification

          Dear Mr. Bailey:

          I have been retained as counsel by Bianchi Sound and wish to respond to your missive on behalf of my client. Mr. Bianchi and Mr. Sound desire to inform you that you can ‘bite their meat puppet’.

          Cordially,
          Grampdaddy
          Teenee, Bacon, and Topper, LLP

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          Beeahnkey Sound permalink

          Yo, Bailey, take it up with the Bianchi Holster company.

          IF. YOU. DARE. (Those MFers are packin’.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5

          Is IF. YOU. DARE. more like A.Virginia or Not.A.Lion.?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Yep, dear baia d’Bianchi, I’ve some well-worn Bianchi-made gear.
          Shot a few of Pietro’s over/unders, too.
          But not in the same-named Cup, though.

          Sadly, though, that looks eerily similar to the letter the trademark infringment office over at the U uses.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 6
          G.Seymour Bonobobritches III permalink

          My partner, Mr. J.Winston Monkeypants, Esq. has been in court the past few days, but he sent me over to see if you still needed any help.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        PrincessLuceval permalink

        In Mexico, gerbert eats you.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          In Soviet Canada, Mexico makes reference to you!

          Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 5
      Lola permalink

      whit, I think you have it wrong. Gerberts aren’t tasteless, they’re yummy! You’re just jealous and a hater!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 5
        whit nestor .tanks permalink

        Oh, Lola, those eyes can see into my soul…yes, it’s true…cos I’ve been hurt many times. My heart has been beaten to a #2 consistency, and I hide it by jelosity and hate.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          Adores for jelosity. And I know just how I will use it this week. *evil grin*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          Windrose permalink

          There’s always room for jelosity!

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Now, Viento-levante, I’m pretty sure you are not allowed to say that except with a D.Ed and ina hugely-broad voicing style.

          Or is that the gerbert-pops?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Well, CapnMac, I just learned to my shock that the Rose in Windrose is a past participle, and not the flower I’d always assumed.
          (hangs head in shame for illiteracy)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, I was thanking WR for a punch and when I got to thinking in Latin, the habit of puns in Latin conspired to flip nouns to verbs.

          Aelousrosa is still the purtiest I’ve come up with, especially as Torqueorosa sounds a figure from the Auto-da-Fè, and we really only need inquisitive minds around here (esp w/ brass ‘knucks per alar)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          I often find myself daydreaming in Latin….

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, have you considered a prescription sleep aid?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Windrose permalink

          Innana, you must know something I don’t. 8/ Windrose is the term early map makers used for the compass star. So while not a real rose, it’s not a participle, past or otherwise. *waits to be told which joke she has missed this time*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 6
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, if we must corey about. The “rose” in a compas rose comes from the array of triangular points shown on a 32-point compass card. The four cardinal points, then overlaid with the next eight ha’cardinals, then overlaid with four then four again, bears a resemblance to the embroidered Tudor rose.

          A windrose, as I was raised to know it, is the array of cardinal directions under a windvane.

          Under sail, one could interpolate the wind shown from a windrose vice the compass rose which gave a course made good.

          In which case, our favoite feathered puncher must be Aelousrosa, as Aelousgraphilimbum would be, at best, inelegant.

          Now, to ease any other confusion; I will admit to using forms of “to wind” with participals of “rise” in Latin and other languages. This was entirely in the spirit of mental engagement and play, and in no sense demeaning or derogatory. Any such negative implications I will abjure in the most stringent of ways possible.

          Adores: 1
  8. 2010 May 5
    TacoMagic permalink

    You know, whenever I’m working on my car I can never find my #2 gerbert. I always have to run to Ace Hardware and buy another one. I’ve never actually used the meat style gerbert, but I’m told that while they offer a more comfortable grip, they don’t work as well when losening the #2 prewies.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      I understood that they often slip and the user will bash his knuckles as well. Gerberts causes accidents…er.. accidents causes Gerberts?? Whatever, just remember that.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, while you are Ace, I’ll be wanting a half-dozen of the #4 relative bearing races, if you please.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2010 May 5
    Innana permalink

    What kind of donation would YOU make for 30 meat gerberts?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’ve got this red table for sale, but they could take it for free.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 May 5
        Meredith permalink

        Or you could take it for three…gerberts.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5
      TacoMagic permalink

      Is “donating” an innuendo the same way that “making a deposit” is?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        Innana permalink

        Not in MY endo!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          Your endo is single-entendre only?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          My endo is off limits!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Endo Calrisian? Man, Billy Dee don’t get no respect.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          It’s fine. Just send him to Joel Schumacher, and he’ll forget all about what you did to him.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5

      I’ll trade them for a mint(y) green prom dress. My date never showed…sigh….

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 5
        Bianchi Sound permalink

        Wait, are you a boy or a girl? I keep losing track…

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          Bianchi….Yes…

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Transexual Transylvanian….

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wait, I know this one!

          Is the answer D?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          CJ is not a boy or a girl. CJ is a company.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          That’s me, Isaac, Commission Junction…now, what’s my function?

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 May 5
        Meredith permalink

        Oh, Oh, Taco, did I mention there was a woman in my hotel that actually LOOKED like that the other day…but with MUCH MUCH bigger hair? I don’t think she even realized that people were staring at her in shock, either, and not in worshipful awe. It was awe, though.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          It’s a good thing you didn’t say anything to her. If someone told me I looked like an Englishman in drag, I would most likely want to visit grievous bodily harm upon them.
          Unless it was Eddie Izzard. He looks damn fine in a dress.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 May 5
        Grampdaddy permalink

        Was that the ‘endo’ the romance?

        Adores: 1
  10. 2010 May 5
    MandaB permalink

    These folks are crazy. Any donation? These are worth a fortune. Do you know how hard it is to catch one, let alone 30 Gerberts? I can’t tell you what a painstaking process it is, standing in a field, by the light of the moon, softly calling “Here gerberts gerberts gerberts….”
    If they’d been able to get the #1 gerberts instead of the #2…it boggles the mind. At auction I’d estimate them to go for at least three hundred elebenty sammiches.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 May 5

      MandaB – would the same traps we use for snipes work on gerberts? I hate to have to go out and buy all new equipment. Also, could you post some of your favorite gerbert recipes? I’d love to try them out.

      kthxbai!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        Ingredients:

        3 Gerberts, peeled and chopped

        Directions:
        Place all Gerberts into a blender, purée until smooth and the screaming stops. Serve in a pint glass with a twist of lime.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          I don’t think I could ever stop screaming…

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 May 5

          …or hurling…

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          lost_compass permalink

          Instead of peeling and chopping, Madame, butterfly them, like shrimp. Then you can mix up a classic Gerbert and Sullivan.

          Adores: 16
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          This makes me want to Puccini.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          lost_compass permalink

          Don’t Tosca your cookies.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          whit nestor .tanks permalink

          Aria ready to stop now????

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I think they’re trying to lure you into a falsetto sense of security.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Oh, the inanity!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          lost_compass permalink

          Yeah, this thread is unRaveling quickly.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Lost Compass! I think I’m in love!

          (sings melodically and dies in an attractive pose)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          Windrose permalink

          This talk makes my buddy Joe Green ill, trovatore!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Verdi interesting!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          lost_compass permalink

          Yeow, Innana. Let’s you and me get Bizet!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          You go for me
          And I’m taboo
          But if you’re hard to get
          I go for you
          And if I do
          Then you are through!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          lost_compass permalink

          Now I’m really jonesing for you. Carmen into my arms.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Oh, man…you passed that test, too!
          I kneel, humbly, at your feet.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Ok guys, I’m calling this one:

          Get a room.

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Ich habe dein Mund gekusst….TacoMagic.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Getting all flirty I see.

          Ich anziehen meine Kittel und Zauberer Hut…

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        MandaB permalink

        CJ – Those traps will work, but I like the thrill of the hunt. I prefer to whomp mine with a whaterpomp. Then the little suckers are pre-tenderized (as opposed to just pretend).

        Ah….my grandmother used to make a very special Gerbert meatloaf. Sorry, ancient family secret. I can tell you the final step involved a trash can though.

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I gather my gerberts with a machete and a pitchfork. You have to wear earplugs though, they’re worse than a rabbit when they get going.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Meredith permalink

          You are all HORRIBLE. I only use the catch-and-release method on Gerberts. We’re overrunn by them down here, but I would never stoop to eating them.

          Remember, folks, have your Gerberts spayed and neutered.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Lots of tomatoes in that dish? I think my spouse used to make it. Nobody would eat it here either.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        Innana permalink

        Not too flirty…the original quotation is spoken to a decapitated head….

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Well I AM a head on a dubious looking spring… sporting quite the sharp chapeau if I might add.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Is it zauberer? Is it gerbert-skin?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          As Today is the Cinco de Mayo, I thought I’d serve you up a special treat:

          Gerbert Empanadas, Gerbert Tacquitos, Refritos Juevos with Gerbert Sauce, and for a dessert, Gerbert Sherbet!

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          Adores to Astro… *flutter*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Uh, I was with you there, Astro, until you went to “refried eggs.”
          Lots of things in the kitchen that refry nicely; mashed taters, beans, stuffing, meatloaf–but eggs?

          Also, I really did not need to go back to shelter/disaster recipes.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          Innana: Gotta tell you girl, you don’t tell them about the decapitation part until you’ve GOT them in the room. I’m impressed with your opera chops. The horror movies of the 18th and 19th century (you know, if the girl kisses the guy she dies or possibly they both die).

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          Ah, someone caught my mistake which I’m now masquerading as something done totally on purpose as opposed to admitting I meant Frijoles, but put Huevos instead.

          (In other news, according to Google, Huevos is one of the few Spanish words that use an H to make an H sound. I learn something new everyday. )

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          Astro, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a Spanish speaker pronouncing the H at the beginning of huevos. You’re listening to too many gringos. (And trusting too many internets.)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, on the subject of unspoken H’s (if otherwise completely OT)
          may catulator is demonstrating “H is for Hypotenuse” across his favorite 20x20x20 box.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          So a trianglular prism, then?

          (All speeling misteaks we completely intentional)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I have a trianglular unblubler in my car!

          Adores: 5
  11. 2010 May 5
    Fleeting permalink

    Well, it may not be the #1 grade gerberts they serve at that $60/plate steakhouse, but I tell ya, you get those #2 gerberts going on your barbecue at home, and you can hardly tell the difference.

    Seriously though, what in gods name is this actually talking about? Nobody EATS gerbils do they?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 5
      MandaB permalink

      I don’t want to spoil the fun, but you asked so….

      [Corey] these are Gerber meat baby food, #2 being the level or thickness of the puree [/Corey]

      Actually, even the factual explanation is fairly gross. Pureed beef, anyone?

      Now we know what really happened to the Gerber baby.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 May 5
        Innana permalink

        How is babby formed?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          8th Gerbert of 3 permalink

          Apparently babby is formed using a meat press.

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, babby flan, make me a gerbert fast as you can!
          Pound it and mash it, and mark it with ‘B’….

          and please, would you pour a bacontini for me.

          Adores: 11
      • 2010 May 5
        Lola permalink

        “Now we know what really happened to the Gerber baby.”
        He grew up and sold his siblings by the litter?

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 5
        mudslicker permalink

        You would think, with 30 jars of the #2 meat, that the correct spelling of Gerber might have been a no-brainer. Is English the new “it’s Greek to me”..?

        Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Wat u talkin bout muddy? english is ez 4 eberyone! nao i hav 2 get bak 2 writin’ this paper 4 my writtin class!

          gtg bi

          (My fingers are cramping up now.)

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          You know, your fingers wouldn’t cramp up if you would just go back to using your coffee mugs to slam on that keyboard.

          I would give you an A+ on your paper if you just avoid using prose, the Latin alphabet, English orthography, Isaac’s penchant for pedantry, or any punctuation whatsoever. See me after class.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          6tuyqhiws m8edw6 iforgot aboutt my mgds1 noew my fingerrs eel great1

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          A- (you used the Latin alphabet—points off!)

          *but I’ll throw in a couple of those metallic gold star stickers*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          sorry my greek mugs arer in the shhop

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          The correct term is pyxis.

          Unless the Greek mugs you refer to contain letters such as these: ΔΣΦ

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          Muddy – you would think, but only their babay can read….

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Guess they missed out on having that two year old teacher for their tike; or having a good lurning tool (ooh look! a catculator and catabus!) so babay can lurn to spell the words on the labels correctly.

          http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2884

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        tigprincess permalink

        Thanks MandaB for this corey, now that I vaguely understand the post I’m driven to ask why would someone have 30 jars(?) of this delicacy for sale / donation? Surely they have a long shelf life? How did Sparky come by them? Has Sparky’s family suddenly turned vegetarian and are now eschewing this repast?
        *so many questions, my brain itches*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          [matt]
          I’m outraged that you would post something so tasteless tigerprincess. If you had a baby like mine you’d realize that a baby could eat 30 jars of food in about 6-7 days. Not only that, but babyfood does indeed expire. I myself have a jar of babyfood set to expire by March 3rd 2011! It doesn’t hang around forever you know! You should be ashamed.

          I myself purchase second hand, dontated, previously opened baby food by the case. People selling babyfood are ALWAYS trustworthy. They’re selling things for BABIES! Of course you can trust them. Like anyone would ever take advantage of parents by selling them stuff they didn’t need or was of questionable quality. As if.
          [/matt]

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          Being a generally non-Sparkian mom of 3 kiddos under the age of 5, I can only hypothesize that they were duped into purchasing these in bulk without realizing that meat babay food looks and smells nearly as appetizing as dog food and no self-respecting babay would ever eat it.

          I imagine the conversation leading up to this went something like this:

          “Hey Lurleen, I’m thinkin’ we don’t shud have bought that there ‘Youl babay can Ead’. Junior here is lookin at all the labels on them jars of the meat Gerberts and dudn’t wants to eat none.”

          “Fine. We kin put ‘em on that there Gregslist and see ifn we can gets a donation like a new hide a bed or maybe I can git a purty dress for pron.”

          Adores: 10
      • 2010 May 5

        MandaB is exactly right on both counts — it’s most likely an ad for Gerber meat baby food, and that in and of itself is kind of disgusting.

        Also: note that there’s no mention of expiration date on these puréed meat delicacies. *shudder*

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          We can only hope that the price goes up, up, up and up the older they are!

          Crisco can collectors know a good bargain! As if.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          That makes so much more sense! I do have a couple explainations for why they’re getting rid of them….

          A- their babby is all growed up and doesn’t need special gerbert babby food anymore
          B- their babby is like mine, and just doesn’t like the nasty cat-food-smelling meat foods

          Though, on second thought, the meat puree crap might be just fine for feeding my cat, or even charging up the catulator.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          Eclectic Blue, I’m not sure either one of my catulators would even find meat babay food acceptable. It’s horktastic!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I haven’t met the dog who wouldn’t eat meat baby food though. Seeing as most dogs I know count “kitty roca” as among their favorites.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          My last cat had dental work done and love-love-loved the meat babyfood that I had to give him while he healed. I did not love-love-love the smell/texture, but it was better than the nothing else he was able to eat.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          My oldest cat Simon can only eat the soft “pate” style canned cat food, it is basically meat paste in a can. I have to keep the partial cans in the fridge and the results are not pleasant.

          A lot like Taco’s hypothetical meatshake, come to think of it.(And I really wish I hadn’t.)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I worked as a vet tech for several years, and let me tell you there are some nasty concoctions that you have to create in order to get old animals to eat.

          Among the “best” is taking soft catfood (meat paste) and mixing with liver oil in a blender to create a kitty meat Bisque. It smelled just wonderful.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Meredith permalink

          It’s okay. They don’t need an expiration date…they’re COLLECTIBLE!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, I’m corey-wobbly on this one.
          I mean, I’m hoping that this was some sort of good intention gone wrong; that there was some emergency, a chemical fire, severe storm or the like, and people volunteered to help the local animal shelter when it displaced to emergency quarters.

          Hoping Hope will continue to spring eternal, here; but her arthritus has been bad of late.

          See, back in my shelter design research, there were a number of studies on multiple use of “common” goods. One of those was on using #2 sized gerber jars in various ways. The strategy of it made sense, stockpile these, and they can be doled out individually, or massed for bulk serving.* The problem being that the #2 jars only stack so deep. And, those stacks are sensitive to external shocks, too. So, the design still needs more mass in shelving, than in product; the dance is ever the dance.

          ___________
          *Scary things like a recipe combining a flat of rolled oats, a flat of meat puree, and another flat of canned mixed veggies, to make a scary porridge that will feed hungry masses. Gee, makes an MRE, with a 10 year shelf life, much simpler.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          * turns green*
          I think Cap’n just gave a recipe for a meatloaf smoothie.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Actually, more of a pease porridge not
          in a sense that Oliver Twists
          Away, before he can be served
          Please, Sir, not another

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5

          Can I just opine that “Taco’s Hypothetical Meatshake” would be an excellent name for a dance or a terrible sci-fi pulp novel, if not a band?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          “Taco’s Hypothetical Meatshake Smootie”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Oh my Isaac, such a juxtaposition. First off, on Monday, I had to explain the use of “pulp novel”.

          Second, pureed meat and pulp fiction–all in one sentence, azimov live and breathe; that’s to spider robinson bad.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        [Seriousness]
        I gotta say, when you buy baby food you’re mostly paying for the packaging and upcharge. At the cheapest grocery store in town, on sale you can get babyfood for 43c for a 2.5oz jar/disposable container.

        However, right before TicoTaco got to the ‘solid’ food portion of his development, my wife bought me a baby food recipe book. Using squash as an example (The TicoTaco food of choice):
        1 3lb squash costs $2.25 at the market. After preparing, it produces 4 cups (32 oz) of babyfood. Multiplying that out, it would cost $5.30 on sale to buy it in jars. Not on sale, we’re looking at $7+ And as for the ingredients in the jars as apposed to making it yourself: and I quote from the label, “Puréed Squash and water.”

        Yeah…

        Oh, and for refrence, Tico eats roughly 6-8 jars worth of babyfood a day.
        [/seriousness]

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          So what are you saying here Taco? That you prefer puréed Jai Alai over Squash hands down?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          [Seriousness]

          Making one’s own baby food is outrageously cheaper than having the Gerbert’s do it for you. If you think the squash is a money saver, try running the numbers on a 1 ounce jar of Gerbert meat babay food vs. making your own meat purees. Also incredibly disgusting, but much cheaper. For the record, when my kids were ready for meat, they got it in shredded into small bits form. I’m firmly of the belief that meat should not come in milkshake-esque consistency.

          [/seriousness]

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Meat should ALWAYS be able to be sipped through a straw!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yeah, I’m not planning on going down the purées o’ meat road. The day I catch myself dangling a partially thawed hot dog over a running blender is the day I need to rethink all of the life choices leading up to that moment.

          On the other hand, what could go wrong with a meatloaf smoothie?

          EDIT: I’m trying to decide what is more disgusting: A cold meatloaf smootie, or a warm one.

          Adores: 12
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Just add a ketchup mousse and it will be awesomely smoot (or smooth depending on your typing skills)!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          “The day I catch myself dangling a partially thawed hot dog over a running blender…” OMG, I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.

          Didn’t they have Meat Loaf smoothies in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”?

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’m trying to decide what is more disgusting: A cold meatloaf smootie, or a warm one.

          Depends, which would be more likely to show up on a Starbuck’s menu garnished with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles?( Also, what’s a “smootie”?)

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I tink a smootie is smoothie created in a web browser tat doesn’t ave spellceck.

          I really miss crome wile I’m at whork.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          Most of my friends with children have just minced up – occasionally pureed, but they may have stronger stomachs than mine – whatever they’re eating (exceptions: clam spaghetti, jalapeno poppers, etc.) and given it to the baby, with perhaps more vegetables and fewer non-complex carbs than they themselves are eating. It’s for both budget and personal squickiness reasons. So far, all the kids seem fine to Auntie Lola!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          “Ummmm…okay, I’ll have a venti iced meatie with an extra bacon shot and no whip please. Oh, and a blueberry scone. Thanks!”

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Actually, this is what a smootie is apparently. Given this knowledge, I guess the question “what is more disgusting: A cold meatloaf smootie, or a warm one?” becomes even more difficult to answer.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          OK, I’m scared because when I tried to click on the “smootie” link it was blocked by my work browser as a forbidden website. Now my imagination has to run free.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          Kogarashi permalink

          What we do for meat products with our baby is mix them up with other “meal” elements in our Bullet blender. A little chicken, some rice, some cheese, some carrots, a bit of green bean…boom, 1-2 helpings of chicken dinner without the squick factor (at least for us). It’s just a little smoother than using the same blender to make chicken salad for sandwiches.

          And seriously, homemade baby food is LOADS cheaper than store-bought, and you get more variety.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          MandaB permalink

          Taco, if THAT’S a smootie, my guess is they are all warm. And disgusting.

          *wanders off in search of brain bleach*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Ugh, TM and Mudslicker, you both just made me gag… and rethink going down for lunch in a few minutes.

          [seriousness]
          I’m lucky enough that my sitter is willing to make baby food for miniEB while she has him during the day. She probably saves me at least $45 a month in baby food (since MrEB and I just give him the jarred stuff in the evenings). That stuff gets expensive!
          [Bibbidy bobbidy boo! That seems like it would end seriousness...]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          I don’t think I’ll ever eat again…

          *wanders off to find bottle of Patron*

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, I realize it’s a long drive, CJ, but I have the blender ready
          Argent ot Añejo

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Bacontini permalink

          Hey! Meatloaf Smoothie is Bacontini’s cousin! How you all know him?

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Eclectic:

          One word of advice: Don’t ever, ever, ever use the term “going down for lunch” around here at any time!

          Adores: 8
        • 2010 May 5

          Bacontoni:

          Well, there was this party, you see. It was on this, like, flying party. And there were Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters. We don’t remember much, but when we came home, Meatloaf Smoothie was in a travel case.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          Darn you, Astro!
          *shakes cane*
          I started rereading the HHGG last night and was depressed when I took a moment to calculate that I’d first read it at 12, two-thirds of my life ago. I’d forgotten that, until now …
          I have now just realized that my copy of it is, if you are in high school as indicated, +/- ten years older than you are.
          Darn kid! Thanks for the mortality reminder! Where did the last 26 years go?!?
          *shakes cane again*

          Oh well, at least I have Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters in my flask. 8)

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Lo, if it’s any consolation, I live in a college town.
          I’ve done so for a long time. So, it’s not so much the dealing with people at point-of-sale deviced who are younger than some of my malt whisky, really.
          Not even that quite a few were not born when I matriculated here.

          Nope, it’s the realization that remember their parents being bad at hanging out in bars.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5

          Well, Lola, my copy’s probably older than me too. I got it in a used bookstore, y’see. It’s actually a copy of The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The one with all the books in it.

          When I first read So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, I had no idea what Arthur and Fenchurch were doing in the air.

          I read the books too young the first time ’round.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          Jen permalink

          To go back to the meat-milkshake argument – a friend of mine had _seriously_ messed up teeth and had to have her jaw broken and reset to fix it, so for three weeks she was confined to a ‘liquid food’ diet, which her doctor said meant she could eat anything she could ingest through a straw. Through her, I learnt that McD’s tastes EXACTLY the same pureed (the ultimate laziness – no chewing!), that nachos do not work when blender-ised and that no matter how much you scrub, KFC-grease will never come off your mugs properly. *shudder*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, in some fairness, on one trip past LoLa’s comment above,
          my brain registered up “minced children.”

          Now, my reflex was “that’s not what she meant” to then have
          “minced kid” become “cabrito paste”
          which is not bad when pressed into masa maiz and rolled in a corn shuck and steamed.

          Which reminfed me of the first place I had cabrito tamales, and whichever Tio’s casa it was, as cocinero, was delighting in answering the question as “tamales des niños ruidosamente!”
          Sadly, this did not yield un cocina pafica o tranquilidad

          Adores: 0
  12. 2010 May 5
    8th Gerbert of 3 permalink

    You cannot resist the Gerberts, we will add your distinctive meat flavor to our own.

    Resistance is futile, you will be donated to the Gerberts.

    Adores: 13
  13. 2010 May 5
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    What meat is the gerbert made of? Ham? Ham gerberts? Can I have fries with that?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5

      No, but “frieds” are available with a slight increase in your donation

      Adores: 4
  14. 2010 May 5
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    I have always thought that “Meat the Gerberts!” is The Gerberts best album.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 May 5
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      “#2 All Meat” was their first single, wasn’t it?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        I think they also released “Pound my Meat”. I think it was later removed from the album because of the unintentional double meaning.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 5
      MrWhite permalink

      I prefer “Babby Road”.

      Adores: 15
      • 2010 May 5
        Lola permalink

        Personally, I like “Let It Meat (#2)” and “Sgt. Gerber.”

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 May 5
          Innana permalink

          Remember the Disco years: “Turn the Meat Around” and “Gerber Inferno”?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          “Revolution #2″

          “I Grind Up a Pony (and Label it as Beef)”

          and of course this album cover

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 May 5
          MrWhite permalink

          And don’t forget “Eleanor Gerbert”…

          All the brain-dead posters, where do they all come from?

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          That album cover must have been what made them more popular than Jesus.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          No one’s more popular than me!

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          “I Wanna Hold Your Gerbert”
          “We Can Gerbert Out”
          “While my Gerbert Gently Weeps”
          “All My Gerbert”
          “Gerbert to Ride”
          “Paperback Gerbert”
          “Gerbert Submarine”
          “Gerbert in the Sky with Diamonds”

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          “The wheels on the Gerbert”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          You forgot:

          “Hey Gerbert” (take a sad song and make it better)
          “I Am The Gerbert (koo koo kachoo)”
          “Sexy Gerbert” (you’re the latest and the greatest of them all)
          “Rocky Gerbert” (Gideon’s bible is calling)
          “Bang Bang Gerbert’s Silver Hammer”
          “Gerbert Came In Through the Bathroom Window”
          “Strawberry Gerberts Forever”
          “Dear Gerbert” (won’t you come out and play)
          “Mean Mr. Gerbert” (sleeps in a hole in the road)
          “Polythene Gerbert” (see her in drag)
          “Sgt. Gerbert’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”

          and the best…

          “Why Don’t We Do It in the Gerbert?”

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          Mudsy, Mudsy, Mudsy:

          -3 RetroMusic CoreyPoints from your score, for it is “goo goo g’joob” by all accounts and not something you’d utter tickling a babby.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          mudslicker permalink

          I call “Semantic Pedantic” on Isaac.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5

          Not according to a random lyrics site on Google! Obviously, that’s a more reliable source than the booklet inside the Magical Mystery Tour 2009 Remaster CD!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          If it helps, I spent the last 20 or so years thinking the lyrics were:

          I am the ‘Egg-man’…

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          Wait… aren’t they?

          I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the Walrus.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I have on good authority that it was originally “Ape Maan”. It was a reference to the famous British publicist “Arnold P. E. Maan” form the 1920s who did the exposé on the Grouping Act and it’s affects on world cheese production.

          However, after it was found that Arnold was having an affair with the prime minister, the lyrics were changed.

          The song make a lot more sense now doesn’t it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          Well, I have it on the authority of my aforementioned booklet, the costume John wears in the…

          you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you? I figured it out at World Cheese Production.

          As if Cheese is a real thing.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 May 5
        MandaB permalink

        “Babby You Can Drive My Gerbert”

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          A DOOR!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          The Sgt. Gerbert’s Lonely Blender Band playlist:

          [The Titular Song]
          With A Little Help from My Geberts
          Gerbert in the Sky with Gerberts
          Gerting Better
          Being for the Benefit of Mr. Gerbert!
          Within You and Without You (or Eating Gerberts: Before and After)
          Lovely Gerbert
          When I’m Gerbert #2
          Gerbert Morning!
          [The Titular Song](Reprise)
          A Day in the Life of a Gerbert

          I picture Gerbert as fluffy orange Guinea Pig things with a look to them like Sherbet/Sorbet. (Not sure what the difference between the two is)

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          {culinary corey} Sherbet contains dairy, sorbet does not. {/culinary corey}

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5
          MrWhite permalink

          sarajean’s cow clarification collects copious culinary corey credits, conclusively concluding current conversation.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 May 5
          Jen permalink

          WHAT? In my country sherbert is powder! What is your sherbert? Is it like the icecream/gelato split? Do you have icecream too???

          Bah too many names for different things!!! *Grumblegrumble”two countries divided by a common language”grumblemoan*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Lola permalink

          Jen, sherbert in the US is like an ice milk or gelato with milk. It does not have the milk amount like ice cream, but is not milk-free like sorbet. It’s sort of a hybrid of the two. Often fruit-flavor.

          Others who don’t know what Jen is on about – I’ve encountered the sherbert she describes as a fizzy, bicarb-type powder in candy/sweets, e.g., lemon sherberts, which are like a lemon drop with soury, fizzy powder in the center (or centre, if you prefer), and (to me) a highly addictive treat. Jen: where else in food or nature or whatever does this occur?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          Jen permalink

          I know sherbert as sherbert dabs, primarily – the fizzy powder stuff you describe in a bag with a liquorice-stick or lollipop so you lick the liquorice stick / lollipop, dip it in the bag so that the sherbert sticks to it, then suck the sherbert off… It’s less dirty than it sounds, I swear!!!

          Sherbert-icecream sounds… odd. But pleasing. As to where sherbert occurs in nature/elsewhere, I know almost every school in NZ makes it as part of Home Ec / Cooking / Science, usually towards the end of term when kids get all restless and teachers have run out of real work for them to do. I think the recipe’s usually bicarb + citric acid + icing sugar (white sugar ground up really smooth – you call it powdered sugar?). Always ends with all the kids on sugar-highs, running around covered in sherbert dust and sneezing. Sweeeeet.

          Adores: 1
  15. 2010 May 5
    D / DM permalink

    I have a gerbert-skin hat. It’s very warm, and after a few hours of wearing, it emits a delightful fragrance of chocolate, bacon, and dreams about flying.

    But if anyone asks, you didn’t hear that from me, and if you did, it’s faux gerbert.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 May 5

      I love the smell of gerbert-skin hats in the morning!

      You must tell me, babay, how your head feels under something like that (under your brand new gerbert-skin pillbox hat).

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        In the spring we made meat helmets.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 May 5

          Funny thing, Taco: until Googling I didn’t recognize your quotation there, but my gut was telling me that it was spoken by Mike Meyers. So I was picturing Wayne Campbell saying it to his girlfriend Tia Carrere at the beginning of Wayne’s World 2 or something.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Party on, Isaac!

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 July 7
        LurkRealClose permalink

        Many doors for the gerbert-skin pillbox hat, Isaac!

        (Also available as a not.a.lion-skin pillbox hat.)

        Adores: 0
  16. 2010 May 5
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Wait, are they #2 or are they all meat? Cuz I ain’t eatin’ no gerbert shit!

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 May 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      This is a great opportunity for a meat and greet.

      *ugh. Think I just grossed myself out*

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        Actual sign at a local butcher’s shop I saw about 4 years ago, it was taken down the next day for some reason:

        “Come in, and enjoy our meat!”

        That sign bordered on triple entendre.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 5

          Let’s Eat Grandma! vs. Let’s Eat, Grandma!

          Punctuation Saves Lives

          Adores: 6
  17. 2010 May 5
    Gourmet Dave permalink

    All these mocking, sarcastic comments are uncalled for. Gerberts were a delicacy in the old Soviet Union. They are all dark meat, somewhat sweet without a gamey taste, but it takes about 22 of them to make a good meal for one person. I believe they are a cross between the common field mouse (perhaps there is a larger version running around on the steppes of Russia) and the lemming. Any gourmet chef in a good Russian restaurant will caution his customers, however, not to eat too many, for they can give the customer the urge to jump off a cliff.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 May 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      Are they cousins to the hopper mice and how many kingsnakes can eat all 30?

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 May 5

      In Soviet Russia, Gerberts can suck you through a straw!

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 May 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        Alternately:

        In Soviet Russia, Gerberts suck straw through you!

        Adores: 4
  18. 2010 May 5
    LimeLolly permalink

    I thought this was an ad to meet the cast of a new tv show that is a cross between 30 Rock and Harry and the Hendersons. The show is #2 in the ratings and they are accepting donations toward their pension.

    Geez, would I have been embarrassed to reply to that ad.

    Adores: 0
  19. 2010 May 5

    I’ve got a jar of Gerberts, and guess what’s inside it!

    (Oh, wait, nvm)

    Adores: 1
  20. 2010 May 5
    queensbee permalink

    my head still hurts from yesterday. scuse me, i gotta get on my couch, and vroom.

    Adores: 2
  21. 2010 May 5

    *A Limerickish tale of gerberts*

    Sylvester McMonkey-McBean.
    Saw sneetches had gerberts to glean.
    To bag the whole lot.
    A plan he had got.
    Those sneetches won’t know what they’d seen.

    McMonkey-McBean knew some foodies.
    Loved anything like some Tofutti’s.
    Thought gerberts I’ll get.
    No plans for a pet.
    I’ll mince them and make gerbert smoothies.

    So McMonkey-McBean he did shout.
    To all sneetches within and without.
    Save the Gerberts Foundation.
    Will take any donation.
    For McMonkey-McBean was a lout.

    A star-bellied sneetch named McDeet.
    Had thirty rare gerberts all meat.
    He saw through the plan.
    Said save them I can.
    And hatched his idea complete.

    For McDeet was a sneetch of rare breed.
    And seeing this terrible deed.
    Shouts gerberts aren’t clean.
    We must quarantine.
    Thereby foiling one bad appleseed.

    *also*

    And then there was Herbert T. Gerbert.
    Who’d bathe in vat of warm sherbert.
    And showed a kid Jake.
    His magical snake.
    For Herbert T. Gerbert’s a pervert.

    Adores: 21
    • 2010 May 5

      You win. Forever.

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 6
      sarajean80 permalink

      Dude.

      That was…

      Wow.

      Adores: 1
  22. 2010 May 5
    Windrose permalink

    *looks up at Don’t Suck box, hopefully, then sadly puts the brass wingtips away for the night*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 5

      Yeah, just realized I forgot. It’s finals week. Mea culpa.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 5
        Windrose permalink

        I wish I could help. 8/ If it were my regular job, I’m sure I’d forget it, too.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 6
        Innana permalink

        No, NO, NOO, don’t take my magic honor box away from me…
        (drumming heels onto floor and SQUEEling).

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 May 6
          Windrose permalink

          *hands Innana a stuffed Not.A.Lion and a cup of soothing tea* They grow up so fast.

          Adores: 0
  23. 2010 May 6
    Windrose permalink

    *has bright idea, takes brass wingtips out again*

    I hereby award an honorary punchity punch punch to MandaB for the perfectly accented French Prevential translation of yesterday’s ad!

    G’Night, Minnesota!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 May 6
      CapnMac permalink

      Concur, if for no other reason than her spiffy new avatar.
      Minny-soter? You drove “out west’ for cinco de mayo?

      Oh well, was a better Cinco for me after getting home than out among the few with no finals tonight. Barely knew bar help tonight. Should have just stayed home and made migas earlier (but, the aromatherapy right now is worth it).

      Oh well, into the gentle sweet night, fellow snarkers; 6 May has little to remark it in history, barring Jeff Davis and John Deere

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 6
        MandaB permalink

        Thanks, Capn. That’s my oldest non-Gerbert eater, shortly after decorating her younger brother head to toe with a black Sharpie marker.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 6
        Windrose permalink

        Capn, I have relatives in Minnesota. 8) It came up in the comments today. And Cinco de Mayo is not that big a deal in my area, So. Cal. Wait until September. We celebrate big then.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 May 6
      MandaB permalink

      Thanks, I OWWW!

      Geez, two punchity punches in a week is a lit OWWW!!!!

      Whew…well, I suppose it could be worse. I could have been attacked by zomb

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 May 6
        Windrose permalink

        MandaB, read the instructions on the card. It clearly states Do Not Hold In Front Of Face While Punchity-punch punch is Administered! Not liable for any damage, physical or otherwise to the bearer of this card.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 6
          sarajean80 permalink

          But the instructions are on the back of the card!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 May 6
          Meej permalink

          The back of my professional license card has the instructions for what to do if I lose it.

          Given that it comes printed and pre-perforated on a larger sheet with a whole lot of white cardstock around it that just contains the instructions for how to get the card down to wallet-size, I’m baffled by the placement of the “how to get a replacement” instructions.

          Of course, my father-in-law’s legal license clearly states that it expires thirty days after the expiration date printed on the card…

          Adores: 2
  24. 2013 May 5

    Thankfully, I am now on a diet that precludes any processed meat. Much less nauseating to think about gerberts now.

    Adores: 1
  25. 2013 May 5

    I’m actually looking for a breeding pair of #1 fur gerberts.

    Adores: 2
  26. 2013 May 5
    limelolly permalink

    Gerberts – not just for breakfast anymore. Try them on toasted bagels for a delicious snack, toss into a green salad for a filling lunch, smear onto leftovers for a satisfying dinner…. and when it all regurgitates back up, that’s okay… just use that to finger paint the walls and your highchair with fascinating designs. Or rub through your hair for a fabulous, trendy new look. The possibilities are endless.

    Adores: 2
  27. 2013 May 5
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Is one of them Gerbert Goover? I’ve been looking for that forever to complete my Frampton Mink commemorative Meat President collection.

    Adores: 1
  28. 2013 May 6

    Yeah, so Dave, Archie, and me, we were sitting around the box, drinking unwine and listening to our favorite tunes, when all of a sudden Punchity Punch Punch! Never saw that coming!

    Good Morning, Gerbert Rescue Society!

    Adores: 1

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