YSaC, Vol. 658: An die ferne Geliebte, this ain’t.
Romantic literature abounds with stories of people who have crossed paths with their soul mate, pining away for them for years, only to be reunited by some fantastic twist of fate.
These are probably not two of those stories.
License plate: DOR – m4w – 47
Hi I met this very attractive woman driving an Audi with CT license plate : DOR.
If any one know’s or see’s her, please pass this message along to her. I believe she’s from the Manchester area.
I gave her and her mom directions to a Church a few years back.
I can’t decide if it’s sweet or creepy that this fellow has remembered part of someone’s license plate for “a few years”. Or at all. Or even noticed the license plate to begin with.
But he’s not the worst offender on the Missed Connections Statute of Limitations rule:
red head 6 years ago at panamacity bike week – 38
looking for red head i meet at cyoty uglys in panmacity 6 yaers ago during bike week. your name was kelly and you wer 37 a the time. we wet for a ride. lost your number.
Douglas sends this one in, pointing out, “Barring this person’s atrocious grasp of the English language, what kills me is that SIX YEARS after their paths crossing, the only attempt to get this Kelly person’s attention is to remind her that the single most defining moment of their short but clearly star-crossed relationship during BIKE WEEK was that they went for a BIKE RIDE. Bold. Also, Kelly, if you were wondering why you hadn’t heard from one of the dozens of guys you went riding with from Coyote Ugly’s six years ago, it’s because he lost your number.”
Thanks, Sarah and Douglas, for demonstrating that romance is not dead — it’s just been sleeping for a few years.
Who says romance is dead?
Incarcerated for “a few”-6 years maybe, but not dead.
Love is like a maximum security penitentiary. Sometimes it happens unexpectedly in the middle of the night and can be rather painful.
and sneaks up on you from behind??
When love is in the air don’t drop the soap.
You should write for Hallmark, TM.
Chef on ‘South Park’ – “Prisoner of Love”
DO NOT roll over, Beethoven.
TM, you misspelled “maximum security penetration.”
You’re welcome 🙂
Jailhouse romance can be a real pain in the ass.
I dunno sarajean, it may not be dead but it sure has gotten lazy since wayyyyy back in the day when I was dating.
*adjusts her shawl, kicks off her orthopedics, leans cane against rocking chair, and sits down…painfully slowly*
Let me tell you about when I was a young lass….
We met people in person, face-to-face, and decided on the spot whether or not to waste precious time on them. If they passed muster, we’d actually talk to them, get to know them, and their families, before we’d ever dream of holding hands…and not, that’s not a euphemistic way of saying boink…it means holding hands.
This all took time and effort, oh and a modicum of social skills.
Nowadays, all you have to do is post something unintelligible on craigslist, and the object of your affections will rush to your side.
Of course, later there’ll be a nasty courtroom drama played out, complete with absolutely legitimate questions like “Whodababbydaddy?”
*nods off in mid-rock*
CJ, imagine how confusing it is for those of us who started off more like what you describe from your youth and have had the landscape mutate into its current state. Although, it has helped me appreciate a man with good writing skills even more so than formerly, and I don’t think that’s ALL bad. 8)
I’ve told my husband, of 30+ years, many times that if I were dating today, I’d be known as the crazy woman who lives with her cats.
I’d never subject myself to the kind of crap I’ve seen my younger friends, and my own kids, wade through.
*climbs off soapbox*
Wait, your husband ?
Ya heer dat! She aperciats mee!1!elebentry!1Sexyfingers!11!gerberts1
damn, I missed the whole gerberts thing.
I’m going to have to go read it all now aren’t I?
Yes, Dev, you do. (You’ll be sorry, or sor confused, if you don’t)
Hey, and be nice to CJ, she’s earned a right to be happy by her blender and lost shaker of salt.
“Good writing skills”
I’m glad penmanship didn’t count, because if it did I never would have gotten… Umm – the chance to reproduce.
I used to have rather mediocre writing skills. Now, apparently, I’ve been told I have good writing skills. I’m also quite confident that I haven’t gotten any better at it. Maybe it’s the field I’m in (engineering), where most people can’t write (and half barely know English), or maybe it’s the state of the language in general. Either way, hooray for lowered bars!!!
Dunno, always thought, should I win the lotto, that raising the bar would help keep the non-ladder-owning riff-raff out.
[continuation of above two postings]
I’ve moved since we last met, and you can now find me trolling at a Starbucks. I saw you the other night with two friends. You had a red Coach purse. You have pink roses growing in front of your green house with yellow shutters. Your bathroom shade doesn’t come all the way to the bottom of the window. That’s a really interesting birthmark you have on your bre……… Gotta go.
Wasn’t this in the third sequal to grumpy old men? I think the movie was called “Dirty Old Men” wasn’t it?
Either that or “When Harry Forgot Sally”.
I think it was finally released as “While You Were Peeping”.
“You’ve Got Male”
I think more like “While You Were Having Trouble Peeing”…..
Hey Mudsy, was that an “old man” crack?
Grampdaddy-o: Don’t be talking to me about any old men’s cracks now!
*Prostrate and genuflect now*
I meant to type *prostate and genuflect* but my brain wouldn’t let my fingers do it.
I plead the TM Fifth on not having an adequate supply of coffee yet this morning.
No trouble peeing. She wet on that ride, remember?
Blond with the luscious lolli – M4W
We were at Disneyland, you were blond and carefree. I was in the black stroller wearing the Mickey ears, you were in a pink stroller holding one of those comically large lollipops. You had bitten off a chunk from the top. I wish I would have said hi, but was afraid of cooties. If anyone has seen her, please let her know I’m looking. I’m pretty sure she lives somewhere in the continental United States.
She doesn’t have the lollipop anymore.
Just so you know.
Here we see the mating habits of the Sparky in the urban setting. The males who use this method are all past their prime, and will do anything to get a mate. They do not care if it’s a temporary arrangement. The females who respond are all either previously rejected by higher status males, mentally ill, or worst of all, fooled into believing the male is actually a good catch.
Uhm, Dame Attenbrough, I’m thinking a case can be made that these “males” never had a prime. And, having been oxygen-thieved most of their existnece, are now wasting leptons online.
Wow, motorcycle rides are more exciting than I thought…
Must have been real exciting – I would think that you would remember if you ‘wet on motorcycle ride’ – just seems like something that would stick in your mind….
“It was a gorgeous day. Bright sun, perfect blue sky, and you and me heading out for your bike. We jumped on, roaring down the open highway with the sun on our skin and the wind blowing our hair – and then, and then…. you wet all over the freakin’ bike, Bimbo! Geez, my pants stuck to my butt the rest of the afternoon…”
Just sayin’, seems like you’d remember.
Gramps, you took the ‘wet’ and ‘exciting’ thing in a different direction than I was going, but I like what you’ve done with it.
I have to admit Lion, my mind went where yours did there, which is nowhere near where Grampdaddys went.
Admittedly, my mind initially went the same direction yours did. However, I decided to try to elevate my level of (something) to a higher standard – and, failing that, I went for the potty humor.
Too much elementary school exposure, perhaps?
She remembers, that’s why she ain’t callin’! He drove like a frickin’ maniac with a death wish.*
*Um, that’s just a guess. 8)
Well, having seen some downright anti-evolutionary behaviour around Panama City . . .
The potential for combining
bicycle riding
motorcycle riding
Surflines
Beach sand
wetting
dampness
and
Humidity
Makes for a tangled matrix of ick.
Wow Capn – read that twice and mentally added a ‘d’ to one word – did not want THAT as a tangled matrix.
*leaves room to boil brain*
Well, and you started the whole redneckin’ bikin’ wet party ‘stravaganza idea in the first place . . .
“Redneckin’ Bikin’ Wet Party” sounds like a great name for a Country Western Band – leadin’ off with their hit single “My bike got wet, so’s I took my dog and pickup and went home” – the refrain goes:
“and my pickup hated the walk,
my pickup hated the walk.
The dog started growlin, the bimbo was howlin’
Yes, the pickup hated the walk.”
This is DOR from the Church of the Avenging Sinners in Manchester. WHY DIDN’T YOU PHONE? The car was repossessed, my Mom ran off with the popcorn vendor from the movies, my dog died and you never phoned. Now you’re getting in touch again I will tell the Angel Gabriel and he will avenge me for all the bad luck you have put on me.
THIS is when a snake infested Port-O-Potty is the perfect gift!!!! I mean, nothing says “I’m sorry for losing your number after our bike ride during bike week six years ago, mysterious redheaded Coyote Ugly 37-year old woman” like that special sort of present.
If that doesn’t work, I bet 30 #2 meat Gerberts will.
37 year old red-head already met Gerbert – he was the one who lost the number. He’s also definitely #2, and the 30 was actually supposed to be 300 – as in pounds of bike ridin’ fun.
‘Get your motor runnin’
Head out on the highway.
Lookin’ for adventure,
but I lost your number….
He should have sent it off in a letter to himself.
I think he did, but he misaddressed it. I got this envelope in the mail with 867-5309 scrawled on a bar napkin, with the accompanying phrase, “For a good time, call.”
You’re lucky it was a bar napkin and he didn’t chisel out the chunk of (barroom? bathroom?) wall that it was originally on.
Ah, I was thinking more “Steppenwolf” – Born to be Wild…
As a professional stalker, I’ve always enjoyed the subtlety that you can only get with a truck full of bees. It’s the perfect gift for the person who belongs to you.
Mrs. Taco is clearly a lucky woman.
Especially when he saved her from the bees in the truck! That was a genius move, by the way – send her into anaphylactic shock and then rescue her with the Epi-pen! What woman wouldn’t marry you and have your miniTaco out of gratitude?!
Honey. Bees be mine?
How sweet. Your first date was in the ER. She has the wristband to prove it, too.
and she’s getting a matching pair of scorpions for Mother’s Day.
Remember to leave clothes in the meadow. I might look older or younger than you remember me next time we meet.
Yay, avatar!
Many thanks, Capn. And I ask you, do these breasts look they need to be peeled and lifted?
For some reason that makes me visualize breasts as Colorforms.
“More fun than when we were kids!* Peel them off and stick them anywhere!” Which leads to;
Bathtime at the Andersons!
(interior bathroom, two small children are bathing and sticking Colorforms to the tiles)
“Mom, Peter’s nipple keeps falling off the wall!”
*That is the actual slogan.
Sounds like something that would have the Department of Antiquities after me with the pitchforks and PhDs crowd of revolting pendants.
Unless the avatar is a quite clever tromp l’oeil, in which case there are probably all sorts of regulations barring or preventing such comments publicly.
The answer is either (E) – none of the above, or (K) – Naked
Do love the avatar, but have to ask: is it cold where you are? Looking at the picture makes me think it might be nippy there.
Oh, nevermind…
Re: redhead at panamacity bike week
I tihink Im the Kelly you are looking for but Im 43 not 37 but that was 6 years ago so maybe I dont remember I lost your number to but i ben busy ecause I had a babay his name is Cyoty Handlebars Sparkerson If it is you tell me why I named him that then I will no it is you because you should remember from that ride we wet on and by the way he is 5 1/2 so if it is you maybe then we need to talk sum about stuff.
Ah, so you’ve been to the “Redneck Riviera” before, then?
No, and yet I know the phrase “assless chaps” is redundant. Go figure.
*Holds out his card for a punch*
Yay, I was in a slump there for a while :).
It’s almost enough to make you rethink partially thawed hot dogs and blenders!
You should have mentioned your fear of dangling your processed meat stick over razor-sharp spinning blades of destruction sooner.
Me likey the new avvie, by the by. Will I be exposing my ignorance if I ask,”Who dat?”
He’s “Steve” from a webcomic I did back in my early college days. The other avvie was “Helmbot” from the same.
Geez… get out the Vaseline. It’s time to grease the threshold so Taco can get his head through again.
Gonna need more than grease to get my huge ego into the room. Somebody pour my ego a hypothetical meatshake!
My wife tells me that there’s been no living with me since I started showing everyone my massive link.
I wouldn’t want to live with a flasher, either!
A Google search has uncovered a real fictional restaurant called Meat Shake. No luck yet on a meatloaf smoothie, hot or cold.
In fairness, seeing as how [adult swim] has ruined me, I’m still coping with the scary merger of the Shake-zuma with Meatwad.
I’m even more frightened about sending a link off to the ATHF team.
re: TM, ego, grease (above)
We seem to be back to the 5 gallons of Astroglide from yesterday’s comments.
*Note to The Magic Taco – may help with your massive link, too. Glad to be of help.
you sure it’s not just a rather old can of Cresco?
No, no, no! I do not want the words “Taco” and “Vaseline” together in my head!
So I may have lost contact with a guy for 7 years and reconnected by sending notes through the internet… but we knew more about eachother than hair color and favored mode of transportation.
OT..OT..OT
Silva, just got my CatMath t-shirt this morning and you, my dear, have outdone yourself! It is soooooo cute, and so filled with references that only devotess of YSaC will get. I love it!!
I worked with a much bigger file so I could get the detail in, glad it was able to transfer well to the shirt. And tried to make it so the casual observer would see cute kittens, and not think much of it, but those who know, KNOW. 😉
Got you beat, my reconnection happened after 12 years.
Well you win. I didn’t know it was a contest, but you win.
Fifteen, but not to rekindle. (He got married.) Still, it was nice to say hi.
O/T, but felt I had to share since it seemed so CL.
Received one of THOSE emails and part of it caught my eye in the preview pane:
“We offer high-quality Viagra As Ham Years”
Creates so many questions, such as:
How many is a ‘ham year’?
Does the Viagra come in an oval can with agar inside and a key on the bottom?
Is there a warning stating “If you have a ham lasting more than four hours (or four years) see your doctor (or butcher) immediately”?
If you are Jewish or Muslim, can you take this Viagra?
Oy!
Well, I’VE been getting repeated emails telling me to bare, peel and lift my breasts. I was thinking of a restraining order, but I’m enjoying the attention.
PEEL them? D: That sounds painful *shudders*
So there I was standing in the bathroom with a vegetable peeler staring at my breasts in the mirror, when I thought to myself…
…”Self, I’m a man, I don’t have breasts.” And then I went and played video games for nine hours. It was the best day ever. The end.
You don’t really like those movies where they leave the ending open ended do you, SJ?
No, no I don’t. It physically pains me. I must know how it ends.
I crave the epilogue myself. But I can control the cravings with this new method of closure fulfillment. Whenever I find myself needing closure, I simply pull out the entire works of J.R.R. Tolkien and remind myself that there is such a thing as too much closure.
For the record: I did not, nor do I have any knowledge of sending said emails.
However, should you desire, I could assist with baring and lifting.
Please respond through CL – use the codeword ‘Gerberts’ so I will know it is you.
Did you pick this avatar dear? Or were you forced to post here in the alltogether?
Well, geez. Should I cover up?
I keep getting emails about “pleasing her.” Given that I prefer men, have a male pet, and no children, the only “her” I have even a passing interest in pleasing (and even then, only if it pleases me) is my mother. However, what they are suggesting would, in that context, be unethical/immoral/a violation of social taboos, if not also against the law! Just thinking about that has me searching for my flask.*
*I do actually own a flask.**
**I don’t bring it to work or many other places, though.***
***Family gatherings: yes.
The Spam e-mailers think I’m a man interested in V1AGra, enhancing my [male traits], women, other men, and/or fake Rolex watches. There is no possibility to them that I am, in fact, a straight female and have a working watch.
I am apparently an aging male homeowner who is primarily concerned with my waning libido, receding hairline, and mortgage products available for my non-exsistent home, as well video-chatting with “hott single girls in your area”. (I am a (relatively) “hott” girl living in my area, but if I started chatting with myself there would probably be talk of medication and long term in-patient care.)
I keep getting letters from the AARP in my snail mail. Apparently as a man over the age of 60 I should consider joining so I could recieve all these awesome benefits.
My breasts are also too small, apparently. More Funyuns for me I guess.
From the FritoLay Website:
“FUNYUNS® Onion Flavored Rings are a unique combination of great taste, great crunch and good fun™ rolled into one great chip.”
*Pulls a Funyun out of the bag and stares at it*
“Whee, haha. What fun.”
Yeah, it also says that FUNYUNS® are “playful”. I don’t know about you, but for me the little bastards are just lyin’ there.
The word “Fun” is now trademarked?
jg – Do you think they are just going through the motions for old times’ sake? I’ve heard they have a thing with Doritos on the side.
“The word “Fun” is now trademarked?”
Jesus, I’ll never get a new business name…
“*I do actually own a flask.**
**I don’t bring it to work or many other places, though.***
***Family gatherings: yes.”
Note to self: stop bring flask to work
You should get one of these fancy vacuum bottle thermoses.(Thermosi?) Everyone has one and they keep…beverages nice and icy-cold for hours.
Hambone.
From wikipedia:
Ham years (abbreviated pky) are a unit of measure in metaphysical theoretical biophysics. 1 pky is equivalent to the half-life of 1 standard can of original SPAM. The precise value of this unit of measure has yet to be established, although current estimates at the Center for Advanced Meat-based Experimentation Laboratory Of Toronto (CAMELOT) put the value at approximately 2.718 x 10^53 years.
It’s different from a Twinkie Year, which is an irrational number used to describe universal matter-energy conversion.
Seems appropriate, Sir Taco – most of the conversations are irrational, with a creamy filling.
Aptly, the dryer having intruded Borg-like into our sublimnity today, I had casue to note my catulator.
He was demonstrating the graphic method of striking off a golden section. This demonstration being slightly marred by being longer than the requisite line by both head and hind legs over the edge of the lounging box.
I translated the “mrrr`” and a leg wave as “silly human; laundry, ha!”
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,spam…..
Can I have the Spam, eggs, sausage and Spam? Or perhaps the lobster thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam?
*Cue the Vikings*
And now, for something completely different:
Gerbert pudding-on-a-stick –with Spam.
how do you get pudding to stay on a stick?
sorry, I’m being too literal here aren’t I?
OMG!! – I’ve been cut off on the on-ramp.
In some parts of the U.S. (not sure if anywhere else) Jello made something called ‘Pudding Pops’ – a somewhat nasty frozen pudding thing on a stick. Think “library paste blended with artificial chocolate”.
that doesn’t sound very appealing, sorry.
“Gerbert Pudding-on-a-Stick with Spam” or “Pudding Pops”?
The correct answer is (E)-All of the above.
as in, all of the above are awful?
or just all of the above ARE?
[True story]
Whilst pregnant with non-Gerbert eater #1, I did have a vicious craving for Jello Pudding Pops. After searching at five different grocery stores in one day, I gave up. Apparently they are no longer made (or at least were not readily available at the time.) Grumpy pregnant woman on a mission with a craving for frozen pudding on a stick is not a pretty sight.
[/true story]
Space Food Sticks.
Anyone?
my mum was lucky in that respect, her cravings were for all things sour, raw cooking apples, raw rhubarb, and oddly licorice.
Luckily, at that time my parents had a large garden, with an apple tree and lots of rhubarb plants, oh and a small shop within 5 minutes walk that to this day sells some damn fine licorice.
[also true story]
The rhubarb cravings were with Not.a.Gerbert #3. Sadly, rhubarb was not available in any form in the dead of winter. Thankfully that craving passed quickly and was then replaced with a craving for horseradish. It could have been worse, I suppose. I could have craved cheese dip from Not.A.Lionel.
[/also true story]
Oh Lord, #2 is the virtual doppelganger of The Bridges of Madison County. Truth IS stranger than fiction.
They should really put the ad in National Geographic.
Somewhat OT – is anyone else having trouble getting Adores or comments or the site or the link to this entry to load?
Yes, I had concocted a very witty reply to the spam e-mail conversation and when I hit “comment” it came back with a 503 error.
On the plus side, if 503 is a step up from 404 I feel like some-body now…lol
Here too. It’s resisting my opinions.
And also seems to be eating posts, since I just posted a “ditto” that should be right about here.
Dunno, opnions delivered as if carved from stone can be intimidating, even to the interwebs
When I say opinions, I mean facts,
and when I say resist, I mean have a death wish.
And delivered should be read as granted, naturally.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
Windrose: Please take note of CJ’s witty and beautifully snarky post concerning spam e-mail, which was eaten by the ether. It should be considered for a punch in the not.a.post category. I found it refreshingly fresh and cordially cordial, with just a hint of pedantic pedantry. However, I did not find it on the page.
Oh, the Damn-ed pain of unrequited snark.
hmmm, that might make a good band name
Unrequited Snark opening tonight for CJ and the Spambots.
I, too, have been treated unfairly while trying to post the first comment today! I hit the submit button, and it took HOURS to finally tell me it wasn’t even going to think about loading my comment. I had to reconstruct it, call in late to work, repost, and wait an agonizing length of time before it finally showed up, like 5th or something. *grumbles about indignities and whippersnappers and such*
I haven’t said anything, but for the past week or so the site has seemed very slow, and I have received a lot of “site not available” type messages.
I’ve been stuck with server error problems for 3 days now but today seems to be particularly frustrating. I think the site keeps getting hung up on loading the ads. I’ve given up after 2 posts.
It has been slow for the last few days. I’m testing various configurations to see what’s causing the problem; I know that my hosting provider has had some issues recently as well, so that might be part of it.
I do think the ads are slowing it down. I’m aware, and I’m working on it.
Just don’t blame me!
I can blame you because your creepy pedo-pics have started popping up again.
OK, no more C****r L**e again ever….I mean, I’ll tell that guy who’s always putting up that stupid avatar to stop it.
Oh, damn. Those bitches who must not be named are back, even if jg did use asterisks! 🙁
Growing up with a fiercely Catholic Irish nana, I can only think of one entity known to appear when you say its name, AND I can prove it, Dan Brown styles:
If C****r = not.a.lion,
And Lion = Christ (thankyou Charles Staples Lewis)
Therefore C****r = not.a.Christ = Ohemgee!!!
CL = black sabbath (and not the cool band with the Pantene hair, either).
pantene hair? actually…….you might be right there
It’s not like you’re doing anything else during finals week. Teachers just lounge beside the pool all day sipping mai-tais, right?
Well, today, the one 503 I had, self-resolved. This was with all the ads loaded, too. Mind you, I cleared cache and cookies and TIF last night, too.
Since you indicated it was finals week, I didn’t really want to complain. I mean, you’re giving exams and grading … because that’s your job! We, on the other hand, are … well, I don’t know what we are. A hobby? In any case, not your job.
Observation: this is worse when I am at work, using a PC and IE, than at home with a Mac and Firefox. No idea why this is so.
You, SJ, Mudsy and Inna are my hobby.
Err. I’m being ironic. Yeah, that’s it; ironic.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go put on my chipmunk costume and ghillie suit.
My hobby is building homemade stun guns, in fact I just finished one and need to test it out on
someonesomething.*hears rustling noise outside*
Oh, look! A chipmunk!
TM, I’m not that Inna you. I am Innana. Unless it’s someone else who is your hobby; in either case I must smite you.
Earworm of “Love is a Battlefield” your Sumerian Highness
Got it covered, girl.
*ZZZT!*
Hobby? Why do I suddenly feel like a Lionel train? Or is that a Lionel Richie cheese head?
Taco! Get thee to a terrarium!
Nice new avatar BTW… that helmet will come in handy in the padded room.
Lionel Train? Wasn’t he a character in “Myrder by Death”?
Today has been wobbly, especially with Adores.
But, not so bad as in previous times of woe.
I have to be honest, the last couple of days I’ve been so frustrated with error message etc I’ve just given up and gone off to read a book or something instead.
I did email drmk to let her know of course.
Today’s the first day I’ve been able to get on properly, and it’s still very slow.
Hmm, could it have anything to do with the election, Dev?
maybe, but I’ve never known something that trivial to get in the way on my life online before.
(and yes, I am joking)
It may not be ‘An die ferne Geliebte’ but I can still picture them. Sitting on a hill of dirty laundry, the weak glow of the laptop illuminating their pinched white faces. Clearly, they have struggled to remember any and all details of that fateful meeting. If only their ‘Beloved’ would see it and respond with the same fervor that they have vested in that one passing, passionate moment.
“Because everyone knows that CL ads work”. At least that’s what they tell themselves as they drown their pain in that cold 44 alcoholic libation.
I think these are the guys whom the neighborhood says “Seemed so quiet and nice” after the authorities find the skull that was turned into a cereal bowl.
Yum. Kellogg’s Raisin Brain.
Gives a new spin on “Capt’n Crunch”.
Two scoops???
Has anybody seen my cat?
Yeah I saw her in the bushes outside. She tas- looked fine. I wouldn’t worry.
My cat is male. Dammit. I hope someone is choking on a huge hairball right now.
You can borrow one of mine,LL. I have spares.
LL: That’s a funny name for a cat. Dammit. I used to have a dog named Comeer.
Hahaha. Never thought to name my cat that. Actually, I just might have to, would explain so much of the cat’s personality.
*I was actually trying to be subtle in implying someone ate my cat, per TM’s post. I forgot to bring my sledge hammer, next time, though– BAM right in the kisser!
My mom had a cat named Stupid once, it was the only name it would answer to. She tried severel others before getting frustrated and saying, “Come here, stupid!” It did and the name stuck.
my cats all have quite cat like names, what I actually call them on the other hand can vary depending on my mood and their behaviour.
One has actually become known to everyone now as dumbf*ck as a result of this.
My dad has christened Firefly “Psycho-Twitch” because of her… mercurial personality. (It’s like she has a feline version of ADHD. She even twitches in her sleep.)
My cat has a name, but it’s only so when I call the vet to make an appointment they have something to put in their schedule. Mostly I call him fatcat or littleman. He answers to neither, unless there’s food involved.
From SHOWBIKE:
I used to dream I would discover
The perfect biker some day
I was sure I’d recognize him
The moment he biked round my way.
I always thought Coyote Ugly
Would hold a dude just right for me,
With a giant arm, with a space uninked
For my face and form, or initials linked.
Along came Bill,
An ordinary guy;
He doesn’t have a thing that you can brag about.
His memory,
It’s clear to me
So empty and loony;
In looks, no George Clooney.
An encounter brief–
SIX years ago, good grief!
Hey, buddy, you must chill.
We just wet for a ride.
Now he thinks I’m his bride.
Somebody, kill this Bill.
This just makes me think of Ray Stevens, ‘Along Came Jones’, not sure why.
Slow walking Jones
Slow talking Jones
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.
No connection from here to there, at all.
Well, I just thought… wait, what?
Ray Stevens?
Even Stevens
John Paul Stevens
Darren Stevens
Wallace Stevens
Ted Stevens
or even Cat Stevens
would have given me less pause.
I think.
Be glad you’re not in my head!
The rabbit trails are killer around here.
rabbit trails? No, I don’t want know…….
Wait, I know!
Oh, no.. it’s gone now…
No, there it is!
Wait, yes! No, sorry, lost it again.
Oooh, shiny…
*wanders off*
Sparky #1 left off one important detail. DOR was wearing a very elaborate white dress and veil and seemed very flustered. Her mother kept saying, “Really, it’s a sign. Getting lost on the way to the church…I told you he’s not good enough for you…I told you that you should have had the wedding in Stamford. What? Why are you looking at me like that? I’m just trying to help…”
M4W
Hey Kelly.
Remember me?
I sold you that table you took for free. Did you get that gift I sent?
I couldn’t remember your address, but sent it anyway. Sorry about the snake, I forgot I left Timmy in there. I liked your idea for getting computer parts. I put on a few pounds since then, but, you know, ‘s all good. I did get a torn Hello Kitty mousepad though.
But seriously, we should hook up. I found a writer for my project. It’s about this evil dude who chases you.
Oh, gotta go. mom’s at the top of the steps raggin’ on me again ’bout gettin’ a job.
I wonder how much I could get for that can of Crisco in the corner.
Call me xxx-xxxx
You want me to call you Ex Ex Ex Dash Ex Ex Ex Ex? That seems a little unwieldy.
You want me to call you “Ex Ex Ex Dash Ex Ex Ex Ex”? That seems a little unwieldy.
Doesn’t x= kiss? That just makes it awkward, I think.
Is the dash silent? That’s what I’m wondering.
All my x’s live in Texas.
I’m hoping they’ll read this and give me a call.
I’m planning a reunion.
OH JOY!
*Wait, Joy’s not an x. And Dash was kinda the silent type.
No, the dash is pronounced “stinkwater jellyfish phlebotomist”. It is a common pronounciation error among those not fluent in French prevential.
that explains soooo much.
“It’s spelled ‘Luxury-Yacht,’ but pronounced ‘Throat-warbler Mangrove’!”
“6 yaers ago”
And, just how many nay votes ago?
“license plate : DOR”
DOR = Data on Request?
Sparkie: “Hi, my plate is ABC 123, was it me?”
Sparky: “Are you hot and REAL!!!!FUN!!!!?
Sparkie: “No, but I have an ice-green pron dress!”
Sparky: “Wet on a bike?”
Sparkie: “I don’t ride.”
Sparky: “Was that you sneaking an extra cup holder into your Vuitton bag at 1018 at the Buckstars with the veinte lite mochalatte with a coupon next to the major in the study with a churro?”
Sparkie: “No, I had a mochachinno.”
Sparky: “Sorry, not your car” [hangs up phone, goes back to telescopes]
Taco Sexy Magic Fingers, I now pronounce you Stalker of the Day! Punchity Punch Punch!
And, Space Bug, here’s an honorary Punchity for you! 8)
Sappy or creepy?
How about seepy?
Oh, almost forgot!
G’Night, Panama City!
Before moving on, I just had to do this. I kept humming this all day yesterday.
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair,
An die ferne Geliebte, rising up through the air…..
*carry on*
Been scanning through all of this internet flirting to see if anyone had already posted what I was about to say, but I ran out of patience after the bazillionth reply. Please forgive me if someone has already mentioned it.
That first one is a Church of Scientology come-on.
Oh, geez. How did you learn that? Are you Sure? Because that really creeps me out.
Needs “speeling prolbems” tag