You Suck at Craigslist

Category: free

  • YSaC, Vol. 1792: Sithi uhm ingonyama.

    Japanese rickshaw

    Small cellulite rickshaw good condition

    I … ew. I had no idea this was a thing. I wonder if I can get someone to carve something out of my cellulite? You could probably end up with a replica of Michelangelo’s David just from my thighs, and have enough left over for a Lionel Richie bust (which is totally apropos, since it was probably cream cheese dip that created the cellulite in the first place). Ah, the circle of life continues …

    Placenta – $40

    My wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I have heard a lot about people taking the placenta and eating it. It really doesn’t sound that good to me, but we are strapped for cash and it is being properly refrigerated. Please email me if you’re interested, the doctor said it should last a few days.

    Gah. No. Also, no. It’s a thing, I get it … but no. And I’m definitely not eating someone else’s. I’m also terrified that my Google history now has the phrase “eating placenta” in it — in all caps, no less, because I accidentally hit the caps lock button so now Google thinks that I REALLY WANT TO TRY eating placenta. No thank you — THAT circle of life is ending.

    Thanks, Lyle and Kristen!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1784: Stumped

    Free live oak tree, good for bbq ,or fire place logs you cut down


    free live oak wood. must cut down , great for fire place or bbq .text me at [phone]

    Normal Craigslist workflow:
    1. Take picture of tree.
    2. Post ad requesting tree removal including picture.
    3. After tree is removed, take down ad.

    Sucking at Craigslist workflow:
    1. Post ad requesting tree removal.
    2. After tree is removed, take picture of tree.
    3. Add picture of removed tree to ad.

    In this vein, I expect to see “Car for Sale” ads with a picture of an empty parking space, “Help Wanted” ads with pictures of the person who’s already been hired to do the job, and “Casual Encounters” ads with…

    NO. Not even going there.

    Thanks for the post, William!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1783: The May Queen is spring cleaning early this year. Or late.

    Stairway to Heaven- FREE

    50% of the official ‘stairway to heaven’ and it’s free for the taking. Certificate of Authenticity available upon request. [location] at my curbside

    There’s a Sparky whose stairs
    Are outside growing mold
    And he’s selling the stairway
    on Craigslist.

    When he posts it he knows
    Before they decompose
    With an ad he can get
    Them all taken.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1779: Fishin’ in the Dark

    Free light bulbs

    condition: good
    Check your Spam folder for reply. About 6 or 8 regular light bulbs free, all work but are not the new energy-efficient kind

    Light bulbs? Light bulbs, you say?

    *squints*

    *rubs eyes*

    *looks again*

    Nope, still not light bulbs.

    Still, maybe I’ll finally have a use for this:

    Free Fishwasher

    Thanks, Ralph and Mackenzie!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1763: I think I’ll try door number 2

    Moving Need Gone ASAP



    I’m moving and have a lot of nice thing not going with me. I have no time for a yard sale, you won’t be dissapointed. Must be able to take it all.

    This is that “bundling” I’ve heard so much about, isn’t it? I come for the (almost certainly) empty Wii U box, and you upsell me on the pogo stick, the bookshelves, the shopping bags, the folding chair, and your brother-in-law. Oh, well – as long as I can take the truck too, I suspect I’ve still come out ahead in the deal. I can probably even use it to haul all the other crap away.

    Thanks to Manic Gypsy for their very first submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1752: Until The End of The World

    I bought a Soda and it had a promotion for an extra one for free but I am diabetic and can only drink one soda a day so I don’t need this extra one. I like game shows so it goes to the third response I get.

    Uh oh. The only possible explanation for this is that the poster here is psychic, and knows the world is going to end before tomorrow. *PANIC, YOU FOOLS!* And have a soda. *NOW PANIC SOME MORE!!*

    Oh, wait – this was posted in March. Never mind, false alarm.

    Thanks for the post, Kit!