YSaC, Vol. 1783: The May Queen is spring cleaning early this year. Or late.

2014 November 17
by drmk

Stairway to Heaven- FREE

50% of the official ‘stairway to heaven’ and it’s free for the taking. Certificate of Authenticity available upon request. [location] at my curbside

There’s a Sparky whose stairs
Are outside growing mold
And he’s selling the stairway
on Craigslist.

When he posts it he knows
Before they decompose
With an ad he can get
Them all taken.

Thanks, Ralph!

20 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 November 17

    Is that supposed to impress anyone? I have a Bible autographed, “With finest regards, the author.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 November 17

      Oh yeah??

      Well, my authentic, New English Bible is signed by the author, and each of the main characters…see..right here, there’s Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, George, Ringo….heyyyyyyyy wait just a gorram minute here!

      Adores: 10
      • 2014 November 17
        Capn Mac permalink

        Only missing Donner & Blitzen to pull the sleigh.

        Adores: 2
  2. 2014 November 17

    By the by, the other half is in Lucifer’s storage locker. The combination is 666..naturally.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 November 17
      nojazzhere permalink

      Was someone using this when it fell….thus making it a “Stairway to Heaven”???

      Adores: 6
  3. 2014 November 17
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    This stairway is definitely 50% or less of what you would need to get to heaven.

    Adores: 2
  4. 2014 November 17
    Ralph permalink

    Sparky needs to stop relying on spellcheck. The listing should read “stairway to heave.”

    And which 50% is it — the “up” stairs or the “down” stairs? Heaven only knows.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2014 November 17
    Capn Mac permalink

    One presumes this is 50% of the “hey check this” clown at the discount music shop “stairway” and thus, the use of single quotes.

    Adores: 1
  6. 2014 November 17
    Lou Stool permalink

    That hedge row is most certainly bustle-less.

    Adores: 9
  7. 2014 November 17
    One Moving Violation permalink

    So, the original stairway to heaven was only 10 steps? I think the Tower of Babel was higher than that and they didn’t make it! Oh NO! I think we’re being DUPED!

    Adores: 1
  8. 2014 November 17
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    See, Robert Plant, this is what happens when you turn down Richard Branson’s big bucks for the Zeppelin reunion tour. Hard-working people are reduced to selling your never-used set pieces on Craigslist. Won’t someone think of the poor, starving set builders?

    Adores: 4
  9. 2014 November 17
    kelli permalink

    This is obviously a fake. Everyone knows the way to heaven is currently in a playground.

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 November 17
      SilvaNoir permalink

      I heard Heaven Is A Place On Earth so maybe a stairway isn’t even necessary.

      Adores: 5
  10. 2014 November 17

    So I’m late to this party. But I still think he’s asking too much for it. A rich man can’t get his fat ass through the eye of a needler. OR something like that.

    Adores: 1
  11. 2014 November 17

    Hey, M2N2! Gotta sweep out the box. Not sure if you can come back later or not. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Afternoon, Glitterati!

    Adores: 1
  12. 2014 November 18
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Aww Gee! Not more stairs! Don’tcha got an escalator to heaven or something?

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 November 18
      nojazzhere permalink

      But what if the electricity goes out? People could be stranded on that escalator for hours!!!!

      Adores: 3
  13. 2014 November 18
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Oh great, now I’m stuck on the Front Porch of Purgatory.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2014 November 18
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Sparky’s COA is a lie. We got yer Stairway to Heaven right here.

    Adores: 1

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