You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: speeling prolbems

  • YSaC, Vol. 330: It’s the new French Prudential.

    Now that I’ve noticed this one, it’s everywhere — it’s as bad as dinning or French Prudential!

    Aligator Chair with Autimn – $600

    This chair and autimin is beautiful. It is tan aligator skin with felt backing. I paid 7000 for it approximatley 4 years ago. It was only used in the guest bedroom. This will be a great deal for someone.
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    couch and chair,automon – $225

    black 7′ couch and oversized chair w/aoutmon.super soft large and great color $225.00 or best offer call xxx-xxxx pic

    Modern couch/chase lounge/huge autiman – $2300

    Paid $3,200.00 brand new, must sell b/c we can’t fit it into our new house. It is in mint condition, only had it for 3 months. I can be contacted at the following……
    (xxx) xxx-xxxx

    I could go on and on. It seems that any misspelling of ottoman you can think of, someone has already thought of and has posted it on Craigslist.

  • YSaC, Vol. 327: It’s about time!

    Antic- Couch – $3500

    This beautiful Antic French prevention style couch has been in the family for over 40 years. The reason for the sale is that we are moving out of country. Will accept only cash or cashers check, will deliver also.

    I was getting worried that our favorite furniture style wasn’t showing up on Craigslist anymore. I thought people might actually be learning something from this blog, and we can’t have that!

    Thank goodness for this beautiful item — it’s an antic, you know!

    Thanks for spotting this, Erin!

  • YSaC, Vol. 326: You should see her follicles.

    WANTED LIVE PORE TAPE – m4w – 40

    I AM LOOKING FOR LIVE PORE TAPES REAL WOMAN

    Katey sends this in, saying, “I knew my large pores would be appreciated someday!”

    Dude. You are On. The. Internet. You managed to press the right buttons (well, most of them) to post an ad on Craigslist. HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND YOUR OWN PORN? I mean, maybe spelling “porn” right would help, but still … I manage to find porn even when I’m NOT looking for it, and an hour or so later I have to close the window.

    Plus, this was in men seeking women. If he’s looking for a real woman in there, he’s screwed — they’re all bots and ads.

  • YSaC, Vol. 319: At least he’s a self-aware dumbass.

    shy me – 22

    I’m a dumb ass , now i have to take a bus cause they took my dl(got one month left), have abit of a problem with a head and some of my friends tell me im an asshole ,got no front teeth, live in my parents basement ,never finish or if i think about it never stared the school that would explain my spelling(i thik the last homework i did was in 3 grade) and on top of it all just lost my job(god that looks bad)ha but so far in last six years that i spend in canada over all i did allrigt, i’m 5.11, 165pounds,still got my 6 (not like its matters)im white ,well fit ,grey eyes,with dirty blonde hair,intelegent inaf to realize the level of my personal stupidity,sick and tierd of the mind games shit,will not lie or betray.
    If some one ask me what i’m looking for in the girl i gona have to say that she must be well fit,able to think(i hate stupidity) and she cant be to much of a bitch everything else dont realy matter
    So if u think u can deal with the sad reality a have just presented send me an e mail and we go from there
    O ye i do have good sence of humor (i can laugh at my self)

    This is like a litany of personals sadness. Lost his drivers license, his friends think he’s a jerk, lives at home, dropped out of school, unemployed … wow. At least he claims he can laugh at himself. What’s the line from Hedwig and the Angry Inch? “I have to laugh … because I’ll cry if I don’t.” That seems apropos here.

    I think we might actually have to start that “I can’t imagine why you’re still single” tag. That’s a bit long, though — any suggestions about a shorter tag name?

  • YSaC, Vol. 318: I steal mufflers — can I still apply?

    Black Widow Milking Specialist

    Well It looks like it’s come to do this Guys, The Goverment has ran out of Guinie pigs

    You should consider this postion if normal people consider you different,
    All people are normal until you get to know them!!

    To my fellow “___________________” professionals. C’mon Admit it,
    Do you want to give up Sign waving, picking up bottles and cans,
    jumping on the light rail without paying. Do you want to give up
    holding out a sign on busy street medians hoping to get hit,
    then suing the driver? Are you tired of telling people you have a job
    when in fact all you do is stealing Catalytic Converters.
    Would you, Should you for good, if you could ?

    If you would like a way to supplement or to totally replace your current
    income, and maybe I could convince you to try something a little different !!

    If you have Ph-d from Kindergarten you might need to contact me
    If You Haven’t found a job, since my last CL ad you need to contact me
    If you are a single-mom or stay-at-home person you might need to contact me
    If you are non-minority or a part of a major minority you might need to contact me
    If you are physically disabled or slightly mentally disabled you might need to contact me
    If you take a shower at the skate board park bathroom sinks you might need to contact me
    If you are under-employed, over-employed, or unhappily employed you might need to contact me
    If you are an non-English speaker or born and raised here and still can’t speak right, you might need to contact me

    Contact me for Date and time on the next hiring seminar.

    [location], Sacramento Ca 95833-3508

    ([directions], North to the Univ Of Phoniex Bldg)

    Bring
    1. A Collared Shirt (women you know what I mean)
    2. Bring no money, you won’t need it
    Ladies and everyone reading this. Minorities, Students, Retired are highly encouraged to attend.
    This is the most Equal OPP you will ever get !!
    xxx-xxx-xxxx (Call me anytime 24 hours)
    xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com

    Best I can tell from a little googling, the address leads to a school for crane operators. It might have been useful for him to say that. Instead he spends the ad insulting his potential recruits and then misspelling the name of the location. (Maybe one of his pitches should have been, “If you can’t spell University of Phoenix, you might need to contact me.”)

    What does it say about me that every time I see “Equal OPP” the first thing that goes through my head is, “Yeah, you know me!”

    Thanks for sending this one in, Heather!

  • YSaC, Vol. 317: I’d go to see “The Droors”, wouldn’t you?

    Chest of Droors and a big fake Plant

    I put this out after the garbage man came by so it will be there for you. Out in the alley, a white chest of droors, but a couple droors are missing, otherwise, it’s made of real wood. There’s also one of those big fake Ficus Trees you see in almost any North Dallas apartment living room corner.
    [address] …. The street is a cul-de-sac and the house is on the circle.

    I’ll try to delete this as soon as it gets picked up, or if you’re on your way, send me an email and I’ll take the post down. It’s 2:32pm.

    This is my lucky day! A chest of droors with a couple droors missing and a generic fake ficus tree like everyone else in the world has! I’ve hit the suburban-classy decorating motherlode! (Well, okay, I’m still looking for that French Prudential chest of droors — that will be the pièce de résistance.)

    Sarah sent this one in saying, “I am shocked that someone could be so illiterate.” She obviously hasn’t spent a lot of time on this blog yet, so let’s help her feel better — at least it wasn’t chester droors. Nobody could ever make that mistake, right?

    chester droors,9 droor dresser and mirror – $250

    All Medium oak, Great condition, Moving must sell, I live in moore oklahoma my name is MARK give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx no emails please
    (A GREAT DEAL AT 250)

    Oh. Never mind. That didn’t exactly make things better, did it?

    I’ll be over in the corner weeping at the demise of the English language if you need me.