You Suck at Craigslist

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  • YSaC, Vol. CLX

    Hoilday Glass Ordaments

    make offer! e-mail me All GlASS

    cash only These are great and cheap for all these ordaments!

    160a

    Son: “Hey, Mom, what was it you wanted me to post on Craigslist again?”

    Mom: *AAAA-CHOOO!*

    Son: “BlASS you.” *giggles* “Did you catch that, Mom? I said ‘BlASS’ you.” *giggles again*.

    Mom: “Veddy fuddy. Just waid udtil you cadtch dis code.”

    Son: “Okay, Mom, sorry. What did you want me to post again?”

    Mom: “The ordaments.”

    Son: “The what?”

    Mom: “The ordaments! The ordaments! Dod’t make me come over dere. Just podst the ordaments.”

    Son: “Okay, will do, Mom.” *giggles*

    Happy holidays, all! Now get off the computer and go spend some time with your family & friends.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLIX

    FREE STUFF… ALL GOOD STUFF..COME GET IT!!!

    I PUT OUT SOME STUFF THAT YOU CAN HAVE FOR FREE. THERE IS A ROSE COLORED CHAIR. EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE. IT IS LOCATED AT [location redacted]. WE ARE NEXT TO JOHN’S AUTO PARTS IN THE MOBILE HOME PARK. WE ARE IN THE VERY BACK, 2 BLOCKS FROM POLK. IT IS IN THE FRONT OF MY HOME ON THE CURB, SO YOU DON’T NEED TO COME INTO THE YARD. IF YOU NEED HELP LOADING IT, JUST KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I WILL DELETE THIS POSTING WHEN IT IS GONE. ITEMS HAVE BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE AND MIGHT NEED SOME CLEANING, BUT OTHER WISE IT ALL WORKS FINE. THANKS FOR LOOKING…..SEE THE PICTURE…..

    159

    What amuses me about this is that by the time she got around to taking pictures of the free stuff on the curb, it had already been sitting outside long enough to have accumulated a thick layer of snow. And who wouldn’t want an upholstered chair that has had four inches of snow on it?

    Submitted by Martha — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLVIII

    Another one from BF, who brought us the part-time tramp yesterday …

    looking for ski ticket…. – w4m

    blow for blow…
    simple….

    Sure, that seems simple … except that again, it’s in “Casual Encounters”. And it seems like a euphemism for something. Is she offering oral sex for a ski ticket? Or is “ski ticket” itself a euphemism for something? The “blow for blow” part is making me wonder if she’s looking for coke. (I’m not always so quick at the drug references, as we know.)

    In the immortal words of Charles De Mar, “This mountain is pure snow! Have you any idea what the street value of this mountain is?”

    Not exactly simple anymore. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it … it wouldn’t be the first time.

    Edited to add: Darn it, I had a clip of “Better Off Dead” cued up to that exact scene, and YouTube removed the clip between the time I posted the entry and now. Phooey.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLVII

    Part time tramp looking for fun – w4m

    Well I just thought I’d check out this site. I’m an animal lover, I ike cats. I have a great relationship with my family and that’s important to me. I enjoy softball, touch football, bowling, & riding my mountain bike. I also like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants. I’m looking for someone who enjoys life and loves travel and adventure. I workout and appreciate someone who takes care of their body. Someone who is intelligent and caring is at the top of my list–and a great kisser is just icing on the cake.Anyway I’m not really good at this stuff if you want to know more just shoot me and email.

    BF sends this one along, pointing out that it is (mostly) fine for a personal ad, except that it was posted in “Casual Encounters”.

    “I might be wrong,” he says, “but people who are looking in ‘casual encounters’ probably don’t care that you ‘ike cats’, care about your family, or like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants.”

    Also, he’s wondering about the “part time tramp” thing. “What is she the rest of the time?” he wonders. I think it’s perfectly clear …

    I’ve always thought that that movie was a metaphor for the dualism of human nature. Oh wait, sorry, I meant Weekend at Bernie’s II.

    Anyway, BF also wonders about the last sentence; she admits that she’s not really good at this, but is it really necessary to shoot her first and then email her?

    Thanks for the submission, BF!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLVI

    Relationship Advicer…………

    I’m not educated and I haven’t had a whole lot of experiences in relationships, but I do know about relationships and about love and I have had friends and family come to me for advice on relationships and sometimes other things and I was successful on the advice that I have given and I have been told that I’m wise beyond my years.So if you need some advice on relationships or if I can help you on something else, I will surely try, if I can.

    Just email me with you problems or what you may need advice on and I’ll do my best to advice you. Thanks

    Dear Relationship Advicer;

    I have a problem. I keep asking unqualified people for advice. Do you have any suggestions that might help me?

  • YSaC, Vol. CLV

    wedding set – $125

    I have a 10 k wedding set for sale…..what you see is what you get….little small but very attractive set……if interested contact xxxxxxxxx@aol.com….thanks

    Oh, you’re right, that’s lovely. I particularly like the way the … um … or maybe it’s the … hmmm.

    I’m actually half-convinced that this person posted a picture of their cervix. I can’t figure out what else this could possibly be.