The kind of guy who doesn’t want to have to sneak out the back door with his pants around his knees when the husband/family member/friend comes home unexpectedly?
Wouldn’t the more appropriate question be, “What kind of guy doesn’t reject a married woman?” And luckily, we’ve seen the answer to that question.
do you need a tax dedution? my daughter needs her teeth pulled. she is in her 20 and she needs all her teeth pulled. if you know a dentist that will do charity work or if you want to help her and take it as a tax dedution let us know. thank you
Candace sends this one along with this note: “I wonder if I show up with some pliers and Tylenol…do you think that would count as helping? I was just telling my friend the other day, “You know, I love to pull teeth, and I could really use a nice dedution!”
Hm.
So many questions, so few capital letters. Okay, first: what is a 20, and why is your daughter in hers? I mean, I know what a 40 is, but I don’t think I could fit in that, much less in a bottle half that size.
Second, what on earth have you been feeding your daughter if she is in her 20s and needs all of her teeth pulled? I’m guessing this might be the very first time this poor girl has been to a dentist in her entire life.
Third: how exactly do you propose to have your daughter eat afterwards? You do realize you’re going to need to replace those missing teeth with something, right?
Fourth: how would this qualify as a tax deduction? As far as I know, you’re only allowed to deduct medical expenses for qualified dependents. Would paying for someone else to have their teeth removed qualify as charity? If so, would anyone out there be willing to pony up for me to have liposuction? You can deduct it from your taxes! (Note: I am not a qualified tax preparer, and this statement should not be considered as tax preparation advice.)
Fifth, and possibly most important: how did this person manage to spell “deduction” right in the headline, and misspell it twice in the ad itself?
I PUT OUT SOME STUFF THAT YOU CAN HAVE FOR FREE. THERE IS A ROSE COLORED CHAIR. EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE. IT IS LOCATED AT [location redacted]. WE ARE NEXT TO JOHN’S AUTO PARTS IN THE MOBILE HOME PARK. WE ARE IN THE VERY BACK, 2 BLOCKS FROM POLK. IT IS IN THE FRONT OF MY HOME ON THE CURB, SO YOU DON’T NEED TO COME INTO THE YARD. IF YOU NEED HELP LOADING IT, JUST KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I WILL DELETE THIS POSTING WHEN IT IS GONE. ITEMS HAVE BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE AND MIGHT NEED SOME CLEANING, BUT OTHER WISE IT ALL WORKS FINE. THANKS FOR LOOKING…..SEE THE PICTURE…..
What amuses me about this is that by the time she got around to taking pictures of the free stuff on the curb, it had already been sitting outside long enough to have accumulated a thick layer of snow. And who wouldn’t want an upholstered chair that has had four inches of snow on it?
Well I just thought I’d check out this site. I’m an animal lover, I ike cats. I have a great relationship with my family and that’s important to me. I enjoy softball, touch football, bowling, & riding my mountain bike. I also like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants. I’m looking for someone who enjoys life and loves travel and adventure. I workout and appreciate someone who takes care of their body. Someone who is intelligent and caring is at the top of my list–and a great kisser is just icing on the cake.Anyway I’m not really good at this stuff if you want to know more just shoot me and email.
BF sends this one along, pointing out that it is (mostly) fine for a personal ad, except that it was posted in “Casual Encounters”.
“I might be wrong,” he says, “but people who are looking in ‘casual encounters’ probably don’t care that you ‘ike cats’, care about your family, or like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants.”
Also, he’s wondering about the “part time tramp” thing. “What is she the rest of the time?” he wonders. I think it’s perfectly clear …
I’ve always thought that that movie was a metaphor for the dualism of human nature. Oh wait, sorry, I meant Weekend at Bernie’s II.
Anyway, BF also wonders about the last sentence; she admits that she’s not really good at this, but is it really necessary to shoot her first and then email her?
MOVING SALE, BEAUTIFUL FURNITURE EXCELENT NEW CONDITION.
LIVING ROOM SET $450.00 OBO
DINNING ROOM SET INCLUDES 4 CHAIRS AND 2 BAR STOOLS $600.00 OBO
CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, SERIOUS INQUIRES PLEASE. THANKS
This one has it all … misspellings (including my beloved “dinning” room!), a price in the title that doesn’t correspond to anything in the listing … and for a bonus, a random baby picture in the listing. (Maybe the baby is actually going for $550?)
And don’t get me started on the “beautiful” and “elegant” descriptors applied to the furniture. The people who buy those kinds of sofas are also the ones who worry about whether the art on their walls matches the sofas and the carpet, and then the whole room ends up very, very beige. These photos are Exhibit A. There isn’t a single real color in there. That poor child is going to grow up thinking that he’s profoundly colorblind.
That’s not beautiful OR elegant. It makes me want to run amok armed with paint rollers in multiple bright, saturated colors.
In the meantime, folks, don’t sell your baby on Craigslist, mmmkay?
