You Suck at Craigslist

Author: dan

  • YSaC, Vol. 1767: Tear me down

    Demo guys needed commercial

    Demo guys
    I’m looking for demo guys that kill themselves no posers I’m only looking for the 1% 0f guys that give you 10 hrs work in a 8 hr day this is what I need .Do not bullshit me you will be fired the first day
    I am looking for the guys that want to work not feed a habit if you cannot lift at least 80 lbs on a regular basis beat it I’m sick of guys that say they can work and bitch and moan fuck you my team works hard and is a close nit bunch If you talk to much this crew is not for you we don’t speak we work no fat guys no drugs no bullshit drama with I don’t have a ride don’t have a hard hat don’t have boots fuck off this is real world if you want it work for it good … it will not be handed to you this is the military type job if you think you got what it takes reply

    I think I see why you have such a high turnover problem here, Sparky McBossypants. If you keep hiring guys that kill themselves, that may be why they don’t last too long in your “close nit bunch.” Or they may just not like all the nits. Plus, you have to spend so much time picking the nits. Do I want the lime nit, or the grape nit? Picking is hard. I prefer military type jobs, where I just get told which nits I want to pick.

    Thanks for the ad, some guy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1766: Al-bert, Al-bert, A-a-a-al-bert(sons)

    RARE Vintage Albertsons Albertson’s Plastic Bakery Bread Bag – $20

    RARE vintage Albertsons Albertson’s plastic bakery bread freezer bag. Roughly 4″ x 12″. Used condition. I could not find another one anywhere on the Internet. These were meant to be thrown away, so to find one is rare. See pictures for condition and style.


    Hey Sparky, I’ve got a tip for you: “meant to be thrown away” means “meant to be thrown away.”

    Just so you know.

    Thanks for the post, OMV!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1765: Light the grail-shaped beacon!

    Just to be different, we’re going to lead with the picture today, and then follow it with the ad:

    That’s a blurry picture, but it’s not a terrible seeming bench. I wonder why it’s in the corner?

    Naughty Pine Bench – $25

    This bench is Naughty Pine. It is sturdy. Asking 25.00.

    Oh. It’s naughty. Naughty, naughty bench. Stay in the corner!

    (Thanks for the naughty bench, Jeff!)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1764: I’m too sexy for correct spelling

    Sexy woman at western [state] fair pink shirt – m4w

    I seen u u smiled I asked how u was doing u walked off and I seen u look back while I was checking u out.im bald white guy with a green shirt on … Probably a long shot but u was very sexy so worth a shot… If this was u hit me up and tell me what I was doing when I seen u

    So what do we think Mr. Clean here was doing when he seen her?

    • Picking fried butter out of his teeth?
    • Trying to pry off the GPS anklet?
    • Attempting to secure his party’s 2016 presidential nomination?
    • Yoga?

    What do you think?

    (Thanks for the post, OMV!)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1763: I think I’ll try door number 2

    Moving Need Gone ASAP



    I’m moving and have a lot of nice thing not going with me. I have no time for a yard sale, you won’t be dissapointed. Must be able to take it all.

    This is that “bundling” I’ve heard so much about, isn’t it? I come for the (almost certainly) empty Wii U box, and you upsell me on the pogo stick, the bookshelves, the shopping bags, the folding chair, and your brother-in-law. Oh, well – as long as I can take the truck too, I suspect I’ve still come out ahead in the deal. I can probably even use it to haul all the other crap away.

    Thanks to Manic Gypsy for their very first submission!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1762: Fifteen miles on the Sparky canal

    Are you named Sal? Then we’ve got a snake for you!

    Snake for sall.!!!

    Hello I am selling my boa because I’m wanting to add more room for my ball python collection my snake is in very good health and eat every two weeks like a camp.!!!! He is a 7ft male “he is a proven breeder that’s is one of his hatchlings ” and Very Nice he has never struck or hissed at me or anyone else he was a class pet to show how gentle and nice he is.!!! Can come with a 75g or 30g tank. You can reach by texting ###-###-####

    “With offers or trades ”


    He eats every two weeks, like, a camp! A whole camp! Not just the kids, but the cabins, the canoes, and even those stupid plastic braided lanyard things! Sadly, he does not appear to eat extraneous quotation marks.

    Thanks for the post, Julie!