You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. 1746: Hey Jack Kerouac …

    You know what’s always sounded like fun? Loading up everything I own into a motorhome and taking off. Just hitting the Eisenhower highway system, going wherever I want to go, with all the comforts of home right there behind me. These modern motorhomes are just amazing — they’re super efficient with space, and some of the newer ones are downright luxurious.

    The one thing I’d be afraid of is that in windy conditions, they’re pretty much a giant rolling billboard getting blown around on the road. All that surface area just catching the wind — it’s got to be pretty hard to keep it going in a straight line.

    So imagine my excitement about this:

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  • YSaC, Vol. 1744: Iced Poky Mom.

    PODEYOM MICK TWO FEET TALL! -$20

    THIS IS A NICE FIND A MIKE THAT MOVES AROUND! CALL ME CHRIS HAS A HAVEY BOTOM! CALL ME CHRIS AT [redacted]

    “Podeyom Mick” is clearly an anagram for “My Cooked Imp”*, which is obviously referring to Mike, who is only two feet tall but agile. I’m not sure why we’re cooking Mike, though. He seems a little … wiry. Seems to me as though Chris is the one who has been hitting the food trough.

     

    *Or “Icky Demo Mop”.

     

    Thanks, BianchiSound!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1742: Two out of seven’s not bad.

    [Warning: if you are easily offended, you’re on the wrong website AND you might not want to read the post below.]

    Free frig

    I’m giving my frig away. It’s really the only frig I’ve ever given. If you’d like to frig, its free to pick up, outside of [location]. Please, come get it, its the only frig I have

    I’m not really looking for a frig right now. I’ve been looking for a damn for a while, but nobody ever seems to have those to give away. Or a shit. I’d settle for a crap, but even those don’t get given very often. There’s lots of fucks out there though, and unlike shits and craps, nobody ever seems to take those.

    I’ll show myself to the corner.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1730: They’re both named Gordon.

    2 Snow cap Geicos with all accesories and cage

    Well, here we go again!. My 6 year old has decided to stop playing and holding her geico’s. We have had them for a couple years and they are both great. You can hold both of them with no issues. One of the geicos needs to be hand fed with tweezers. He a little dumb! LOL The other is a great feeder and hunter and no issues. They both eat crickets. WE buy 24 of the every couple weeks for like $3.50. Other than that very easy to care for.

    You’ll get cage and everything in it and any criskets we have left.

    Small rehoming fee of $20.00 for everything.

    You know these kids these days. You give them a couple of large international insurance companies, and they lose interest after a while and stop playing with them and feeding them. At least this time it’s just these Geicos; last time I had to figure out what to do with two Aflacs. Nobody would take those — something about their voices being really annoying.

    Thanks, Ralph!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1718: Love seat, baby, love seat!

    5 foot maroon love seat willing to listen to offers – $125 (Lincoln)

    There’s some text with this one, but it’s not important. This is a 5 foot maroon love seat willing to listen to offers, folks — do you realize how rarely 5 foot maroon love seats are willing to entertain offers? Usually they just hang out and insist that you go see the movie THEY want to see, just like last weekend when they asked what you wanted to do and you said that you really wanted to go see “The Fault in Our Stars” and the 5 foot maroon love seat didn’t respond at all and then about five minutes later said, “Let’s go see the X-Men movie.” Or the time you tried to get it to realize that its flirting really upset you, and it promised it would take your feelings into account, only for you to find it at the bar hanging out with that ottoman from down the street. Or the time you tried to get the 5 foot maroon love seat to stop invading the Ukraine, and it said it was totally listening to you and it wasn’t building up its military forces on the border, but it actually was anyway and then went ahead and invaded even though you asked it very nicely not to.

    So this 5 foot maroon love seat is different, see?

    Thanks, Amy!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1712: In which Richard Attenborough says, “Yup.”

    Lion portrait CHEAP – $10

    Huge Portrait that we kept from when moved. Paid $40.00 and selling for $10.

    [Richard Attenborough voice] The lion. Majestic, imposing, and totally not a tiger. Nope, not a tiger at all. No tigers here. That’s a lion. Yup. [end Richard Attenborough voice]

    It’s been a while since we had a nice lion around here. It’s also been a while since I wrote a post. I figured I’d go with a classic to ease myself back into it. Thanks, Jen, for the low-hanging fruit!