You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: unclear on the concept

  • YSaC, Vol. CLVII

    Part time tramp looking for fun – w4m

    Well I just thought I’d check out this site. I’m an animal lover, I ike cats. I have a great relationship with my family and that’s important to me. I enjoy softball, touch football, bowling, & riding my mountain bike. I also like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants. I’m looking for someone who enjoys life and loves travel and adventure. I workout and appreciate someone who takes care of their body. Someone who is intelligent and caring is at the top of my list–and a great kisser is just icing on the cake.Anyway I’m not really good at this stuff if you want to know more just shoot me and email.

    BF sends this one along, pointing out that it is (mostly) fine for a personal ad, except that it was posted in “Casual Encounters”.

    “I might be wrong,” he says, “but people who are looking in ‘casual encounters’ probably don’t care that you ‘ike cats’, care about your family, or like concerts, museums, movies, and trying out new restaurants.”

    Also, he’s wondering about the “part time tramp” thing. “What is she the rest of the time?” he wonders. I think it’s perfectly clear …

    I’ve always thought that that movie was a metaphor for the dualism of human nature. Oh wait, sorry, I meant Weekend at Bernie’s II.

    Anyway, BF also wonders about the last sentence; she admits that she’s not really good at this, but is it really necessary to shoot her first and then email her?

    Thanks for the submission, BF!

  • YSaC, Vol. CL

    DEAR MEAT

    looking for dear meat…

    I think I saw this movie … wasn’t that Silence of the Lambs?

    “Dear” can also mean “expensive”, so maybe this person is actually looking for very expensive cuts of meat.

    Though somehow I don’t think so.

    Submitted by CM — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLVII

    Legal help to change a law.

    I need some help with changing a law. If any lawyers out there are interested please write to me. Only serious inquiries please.

    I know that all the lawyers I know (well, all three of them) would fall all over themselves to contact a random person* on the internet who wants to change an unspecified law.

    I’d like to change the law that says that I can’t reach through the internet and slap this person silly. Any lawyers interested in helping me?

    Oooh, you know who this guy needs? He needs the Laywer Not A Paralegal.

    *The fact that there is a “Random Person” who comments regularly on the site and who claims to be a lawyer pleases me greatly. Maybe Random Person can be the lawyer (or laywer) for this random person.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLV

    GOLF BALLS-USED – $40

    120 USED GOLF BALLS…..ALL FOR 40.00 some are new, never used.

    That’s right, you can get 120 used golf balls, some of them never used, for $40.

    An unused used golf ball … that’s a different definition of “used” than I’m used to.

    My head hurts. Where’s Carl Spackler when you need him?

  • YSaC, Vol. CXLI

    Life changing experience (Your home)

    I have had a very unique life so far and my personal insight and advice will give you clarity. Find out why you arent exactly where you want to be in life….get in touch with why your not happy. learn ways to know yourself better and participate in excercises that will guide you down the path to complete happiness in your life. Get in touch with what you actually want, how to get it, and why it matters! My diversified past is non-judgemental, yet logical in its honesty. I use to be drug addict…ive been to prison…I was a strait a student,,,ive studued human behavior, sociology, and psychology….noone has the answers but you will eventually get what you settle for with my help. 2 weeks I will live with you in your home and analize evey bit of your existence. After the 2 weeks is over, you will be ready with a to-do list of your life and be ready to accomplish everyhting you wanted but never sought out. I charge nothing for this service…but you must supply all traveling and living expenses for the 2 weeks.

    Brenda sent in this posting, saying “I found this in the Creative Services section on my local Craigslist. I can’t think of anything I’d like better than to pay for an ex-drug addict felon to stay at my house and analyze my life.”

    I’ve got to agree. If I wanted someone to live with me in my home and “analize” every bit of my existence, and provide me with a to-do list of my life, I would have let my mother stay longer after her Thanksgiving visit. (Except the non-judgmental part wouldn’t have applied to her. That woman can judge you in her sleep.)

    And what kind of a sales pitch is, “You will eventually get what you settle for with my help”? What is that supposed to mean? “With my help, you will achieve the mediocrity you’ve been sort of wishing you could attain”?

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXIX

    Pre-Calculus BUY IT NOW!! $ 80 !!!!! SO CHEAP! – $60

    I have bought a Used Pre-Cal book for $120.00 and I am only selling it now for $60…

    It’s a hard cover book, but the cover looks washed out..but other than that, when you opened and look inside..
    it looks great! =)

    the book looks like this ->>

    KEYWORDS: [Name of] COLLEGE MATH BOOK MATH BOOK PRE CALCULUS CALCULUS TRIGNOMETRY BOOKS

    If he’s simultaneously selling the book for $80 and $60, I think we can establish two things: (1) this guy isn’t particularly good at math; and (b) more than calculus, he needs Schroedinger and his cat.