You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: unrealistic expectations

  • YSaC, Vol. 1748: Bricks are Heavy

    free crap!!

    Moving and have plenty of stuff we no longer need.
    Kitchen table….made of lovely wood like substance…has stains and scratches
    Eight toaster ovens
    Three foot tall green glass duck, head is broken off, currently has a smaller wooden duck mounted in its place
    Old potting soil
    Broken Microwave oven (Kenmore brand, very good quality, lasted many years before it died)
    Large pile of old clothes.
    Canned Goods…most expired.
    Diapers
    First aid kit
    At home std test kits (at least a dozen)
    Bricks
    Front seat from a honda (large cigarette burn)

    too many more items to list
    All items are in the middle of ### road, near ###. Im sure they wont last long

    OK folks – today’s homework assignment is to design a Rube Goldberg machine using all of these items. It should accomplish a very simple task in a needlessly complex way. But please hurry – either the potting soil or the duck is starting to smell funny.

    Thanks for the post, Matty!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1746: Hey Jack Kerouac …

    You know what’s always sounded like fun? Loading up everything I own into a motorhome and taking off. Just hitting the Eisenhower highway system, going wherever I want to go, with all the comforts of home right there behind me. These modern motorhomes are just amazing — they’re super efficient with space, and some of the newer ones are downright luxurious.

    The one thing I’d be afraid of is that in windy conditions, they’re pretty much a giant rolling billboard getting blown around on the road. All that surface area just catching the wind — it’s got to be pretty hard to keep it going in a straight line.

    So imagine my excitement about this:

    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1740: You have no chance to survive

    a staple calculator sell – $3

    condition: good size / dimensions: medium
    I got A calculator for sell.

    Before u come, better send me e-mail to make a time.
    also, you could call me on the phone.

    I got lot of good and beautiful baby boys shoes, socks,toys, tables,play station.
    And also many charming T-shirts, jeans, jackets,coats and sweaters. . ..as well

    Yes, it’s important to make an appointment when purchasing a three dollar disposable calculator. In fact, you should probably call several weeks in advance and make a reservation. You will be shown into the exclusive calculator showroom, after verifying your financial situation, of course. A strict dress code will be enforced – no T-shirts or jeans which are not charming will be permitted.

    Thanks for the opportunity, MC!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1735: Look at the bones!

    Cattle Bones

    Large cattle pelvic bone, some spine, etc. Tired of them lying around. Call first, no texts.

    Darn cattle bones, just lying around. Get a JOB, ya calcified hippies!

    (Thanks Jason!)

  • YSaC, Vol. 1734: One without so much strawberry tart in it.

    Do you want a pet, but don’t have time to deal with all those pesky needs they have? Here’s two possibilities that might be right up your alley:

    Frozen Meduim Rat

    condition: new
    Its a gray frozen rat we recently sold our snake and we had a extra frozen rat, if any one wants it we dident want to throw it away.

    Now, to my mind, “new” condition for a rat is probably still breathing, but whatever. It’s low maintenance! It doesn’t need food! It doesn’t need water! It doesn’t even need oxygen! It does, however, probably need a cool place to keep the smell down.

    Still too much work?

    Free to a good loving home


    Free to good home, “Boulder” has been a wonderful companion.

    However we are forced to downsize and are moving to an apt.

    They do not allow Boulders on the premises

    Boulder is very quiet, he will just sit with you for hours on end.

    Please give Boulder a good home.

    Boulder doesn’t need refrigeration, so you could start here, and when you feel prepared, work your way up to dead rat.

    Thanks for the posts, Michael and Alisha!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1732: Art for crap’s sake.

    Need someone to change a wedding photo a little…


    for 10 bucks I just need someone to do a semi-convincing photo shop of a wedding photo. It is a pic of them cutting a cake. I need it to look like they are cutting an animal for some sort of sacrifice or something and the faces need to be blurred out like it would be on the show COPS. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pretty good. I can easily do it in something like MSPAINT but…c’mon…it would be crap.

    Payment is via paypal. I’ll shoot it over. You can invoice me if you are a professional

    Full subscription to Photoshop CC 2014: $49/month
    High end photo editing workstation: $10,000
    4 years of art school: $150,000

    Ability to help Sparky here mangle someone’s wedding photo? Priceless.

    No, literally priceless. As in, probably no one will do this for any price.

    Have fun with MS Paint there, Sparky.

    Thanks for the post, Lisa!