You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: wtf?

  • YSaC, Vol. 1734: One without so much strawberry tart in it.

    Do you want a pet, but don’t have time to deal with all those pesky needs they have? Here’s two possibilities that might be right up your alley:

    Frozen Meduim Rat

    condition: new
    Its a gray frozen rat we recently sold our snake and we had a extra frozen rat, if any one wants it we dident want to throw it away.

    Now, to my mind, “new” condition for a rat is probably still breathing, but whatever. It’s low maintenance! It doesn’t need food! It doesn’t need water! It doesn’t even need oxygen! It does, however, probably need a cool place to keep the smell down.

    Still too much work?

    Free to a good loving home


    Free to good home, “Boulder” has been a wonderful companion.

    However we are forced to downsize and are moving to an apt.

    They do not allow Boulders on the premises

    Boulder is very quiet, he will just sit with you for hours on end.

    Please give Boulder a good home.

    Boulder doesn’t need refrigeration, so you could start here, and when you feel prepared, work your way up to dead rat.

    Thanks for the posts, Michael and Alisha!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1733: Danger Will Robinson!

    Phish Hat

    Hey brother, I am sorry bout today, I got another hat ive never wore. Let me know some key details and ill give you this one. Seriously very sorry and want to give you this hat.

    I’m not going to do it.

    I swear I’m not going to do it.

    Not. Going. To…

    Phish hat, Phish hat, rolly polly Phish hat
    Phish hat, Phish hat, eat it up, yum!

    Dammit.

    Thanks for the post, Andrew!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1732: Art for crap’s sake.

    Need someone to change a wedding photo a little…


    for 10 bucks I just need someone to do a semi-convincing photo shop of a wedding photo. It is a pic of them cutting a cake. I need it to look like they are cutting an animal for some sort of sacrifice or something and the faces need to be blurred out like it would be on the show COPS. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pretty good. I can easily do it in something like MSPAINT but…c’mon…it would be crap.

    Payment is via paypal. I’ll shoot it over. You can invoice me if you are a professional

    Full subscription to Photoshop CC 2014: $49/month
    High end photo editing workstation: $10,000
    4 years of art school: $150,000

    Ability to help Sparky here mangle someone’s wedding photo? Priceless.

    No, literally priceless. As in, probably no one will do this for any price.

    Have fun with MS Paint there, Sparky.

    Thanks for the post, Lisa!

  • YSaC, Vol. 477: Giggety giggety.

    4.2 Lbs Quagmire – $18000

    I have 4.2 lbs of quagmire selling for 1/2 price. Be the first to have your own to mount over your fireplace. One of a kind, never before offered.

    This is perfect! I’ve been looking for 4.2 pounds worth of soft, spongy wetlands to hang over my fireplace. And it’s on sale for half price!

    It will complement the mange I’m using as curtains and the sofa I just got:

    BEAUTIFUL VIBRANT orange sofa and loveseat

    I am moving from my house to a small pop up camper and must sell my beloved sofa and loveseat. Brand is Cashley. The fabric is textured , feels similar to sandpaper, and the color is a rich bright orange. This set was $2,000 approx 8 years ago. Now asking $1000. Kept in kid/smoke free environment, yet was a cozy napping place for my 5 long haired cats and 1 sheepdog with a skin condition. I will include the 4 hot pink throw pillows. No email scams please.
    477

    My living room is complete.

    Thanks, sara and renabean!

  • YSaC, Vol. 464: They’re really good at croquet, though.

    NICE,NICE BATHROOM SET(BURGANDY) – $15 (INCLUDES 2 1/2 GARBAGE TO MATH NICE)

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    464a464b

    464c464d

    I don’t want my garbage to be nice. I also don’t want it to be able to do math. Especially fractions. Everybody knows that garbage is terrible at math, especially fractions. Don’t believe me? Look for yourself!

    trash can used cheap

    used trash can for $10 OBO only
    call xxx-xxx-xxxx464e

    See? $10 is NOT 2 1/2 times $5. Garbage cans are bad at math!

    Thanks to Jennnnn and Bethany for these submissions!

  • YSaC, Vol. 428: Can’t sleep. Clowns will get me.

    Here’s one that sits squarely in the “possibly awesome” category:

    Clown for Kicks

    I am looking for someone to dress up like a Clown and hang out with me. I would cook you diner – or we could BBQ something. I’m interested in making my neighbor lady wonder. I have already had a man in a panda costume last month – and also had a heard of sheep come in for the day to cut the grass. (sheep do a good job by the way). A clown would be something.
    Maybe you could bring some balloons – or make balloon animals to hang in my tree. I’d like to have this done some evening between 6pm and dark. The longer you can stay the better (like if you could stay for the whole 3 hours). Do you have any tricks you could do?
    Like I said – I could cook diner and get you drunk – I’d even be willing to pay your cab fare to and from. I don’t have much to offer – and my neighbor lady is driving me nuts – so I want to drive her nuts. If you had a Mime friend – it would be cool to see you two chase each other around the yard or do relay races while I time you.

    Let me know your thoughts – open to Men and Women Clowns.

    I’ve had some annoying neighbors in my day, but nobody yet has warranted bringing in the heavy artillery of sheep and costume characters.

    I once lived in a condo complex that had fairly strict regulations about holiday decorations; residents were only allowed to decorate two weeks before a holiday and one week after. To my amusement, nowhere in the condo bylaws did it say anything about those decorations having to be seasonally appropriate! My fantasy was to acquire a giant mechanical gopher, keep it on my porch year-round, and claim it was a holiday decoration for whatever random holiday was nearest.

    The fatal flaw in that plan turned out to be the general unavailability of giant mechanical gophers. (That, and there are no random holidays in August.)

    Thanks to Ashley and Alisa, who both sent this one in!