You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 477: Giggety giggety.

Written by

drmk

in

,

4.2 Lbs Quagmire – $18000

I have 4.2 lbs of quagmire selling for 1/2 price. Be the first to have your own to mount over your fireplace. One of a kind, never before offered.

This is perfect! I’ve been looking for 4.2 pounds worth of soft, spongy wetlands to hang over my fireplace. And it’s on sale for half price!

It will complement the mange I’m using as curtains and the sofa I just got:

BEAUTIFUL VIBRANT orange sofa and loveseat

I am moving from my house to a small pop up camper and must sell my beloved sofa and loveseat. Brand is Cashley. The fabric is textured , feels similar to sandpaper, and the color is a rich bright orange. This set was $2,000 approx 8 years ago. Now asking $1000. Kept in kid/smoke free environment, yet was a cozy napping place for my 5 long haired cats and 1 sheepdog with a skin condition. I will include the 4 hot pink throw pillows. No email scams please.
477

My living room is complete.

Thanks, sara and renabean!

Comments

187 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 477: Giggety giggety.”

  1. neverfirst Avatar
    neverfirst

    4.2 pounds of Quagmire – obviously he cut off the head of the Family Guy character – just what I want mounted over my fireplace. Giggety, indeed.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      *giggle*
      You said “mounted”.

      1. neverfirst Avatar
        neverfirst

        That’s what she said.

    2. Sadako Avatar
      Sadako

      It’s where MY mind went. 😀

  2. Mimi Avatar
    Mimi

    Giggety giggety goo! (and how dare neverfirst be first and beat me to the Family Guy joke!)

  3. neverfirst Avatar
    neverfirst

    The sofa has to be a joke – it has just about everything you would include in a perfect horrifying furniture ad – including the $1000 cost. Okay, there could always be more: start the thread of what you could add – I call urine stains of indeterminate species origin.

    1. Mimi Avatar
      Mimi

      Or perhaps the smell from a recently deceased relative.

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        Nah, that’s been done.

        How about:
        “There was a mouse nest, but we think we got all the corpses out.”

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          Lost my virginity on that couch. And twice on the love seat.

        2. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Windrose –
          Now I have the “got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat” from Beck’s “Loser” going through my head. First earworm of the day!

          Sarajean –
          Only other thing worse?
          “Pretty sure we fixed that bedbug problem, too.”

        3. sfaye Avatar
          sfaye

          Didn’t we have a bedbug posting a while back? But it was everything in the apartment as he was moving to escape the problem.

        4. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          That made my skin go all twitchy.

          How about:
          “Purchased in like new condition from sheriff’s auction, no overly noticable bloodstains. Has one small bullet hole that can be covered with hot pink pillow, some light stippling on one cushion. Also have matching crime scene tape available.”

    2. tacomagic Avatar
      tacomagic

      Lets combine some themes here:

      “or dog wit teh poor bowel control usd 2 luv slepin on dis cought; we cleaned it as best we can but we cant’ figure out where te smell keeps coming from?! its possible that our cat did’nt run away after all! roflulz This soaf orginelly costed 2500$ brand new butt where reducking the prices to 2250! =)) Don’tt mess our on this one in a eternity sale!!1!”

      There, now I feel dirty.

      1. jackie31337 Avatar
        jackie31337

        You accidentally spelled “bowel” correctly. It should have been “bowl”.

        1. arallyn Avatar
          arallyn

          poor bowl control? That makes no sense!

          I don’t think that having a skin condition precipitates poor bowel control, though…

        2. drmk Avatar
          drmk

          * Thinks about all the “toilet bowel” ads in her submission pile *

    3. Coco Avatar
      Coco

      “One of the cats had her kittens on the couch, but I’m pretty sure she ate most of the afterbirth. Remaining stains can be easily covered by the throw pillows.”

    4. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Don’t worry about the rash you’ll get, antibiotics and a readily available cream should clear it it up in no time.
      Four to six months, tops.

    5. tacomagic Avatar
      tacomagic

      “There was a Tick infestation, but we cleaned the couch so it has most likely been taken care of.”

      1. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        “The ticks all probly died after we left it on the porch all winter and they froze. Couach looked pretty good even after the snow melted.”

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          “The dead weeds growing between the cushions should come right out.”

        2. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          “The dead weeds growing between the cushions should come right out.”
          “Or keep them for handy snacking. Other kinds of foods possibly available too (hidden locations).”

      2. Trinket Avatar
        Trinket

        Dead weeds growing? We have another magical couch on our hands!

  4. Mimi Avatar
    Mimi

    Who in their right mind would want an orange couch that feel like sandpaper on which a mangy mutt and a multitude of cats have been sleeping? Gack!

    1. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      But it’s free of smoking kids!

      This couch should be in the Smithsonian (…in Soviet Russia)!

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        In Soviet Russia, the kids smoke couches!

        1. mudslicker Avatar
          mudslicker

          I think in Soviet Russia, sandpaper couches smoke kids!

        2. tacomagic Avatar
          tacomagic

          In Soviet Russia, couch sandpapers you!

      2. mudslicker Avatar
        mudslicker

        Gimme about 25 more times of this and I’ll finally realize that I need to make the nouns into verbs.

        Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC….

        *I wonder if they have hard candy in Chernobyl*

  5. Meredith Avatar
    Meredith

    I have been looking EVERYWHERE for that sofa!!!

    Bright Orange–Check

    Texture of sandpaper–Check

    Marinated with the scent of cats –Check

    Liberally sprinkled with the dead skin particles of a furry dog–Check

    Now I just need a lovely sofa cover. Someone coming over and I don’t want them to stay long??? Just uncover that sucker!!!

    Alternately, if someone has a mother in law they’d like to discourage from visiting, I’m willing to let you have first dibs. Cause I’m generous like that.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      It’s a sofa AND a loveseat! With hot pink pillows! You can redo your entire living room in the newest designing trend, Day-Glo Disaster.

      Seriously, 5 long-haired cats? Only one of mine is long-haired and she sheds enough that I could knit a kitten every week if I wanted to. And a sheepdog with a skin condition? Eww. I can’t believe this person wants actual money for this. They can’t even be bothered to post an actual photo but expect you to bring a thousand bucks for this set? And why would anyone want to live in a pop-up camper with 5 long-haired cats and a sheepdog with a skin problem?

      1. jackie31337 Avatar
        jackie31337

        Ooh, do you have a pattern for knitting a kitten?

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Ask and I (and Google) shall deliver:
          http://betsy.imagin-itis.net/fibrecraft/kitten.html

          I might have to try this, the pattern looks adorable. Excuse me while I get out the lint brush and start following Fearless around…

        2. tacomagic Avatar
          tacomagic

          “Knitting Kittens” would be a great band name.

      2. Badcoladog Avatar
        Badcoladog

        Thanks, ‘Knit a kitten every week’ just made me wet myself.

        1. Heather Avatar
          Heather

          Sounds like a great idea for a page-a-day calendar!

        2. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Badcoladog – I can honestly say I’ve never had anyone tell me that.
          You’re…welcome?

        3. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          and i’ve gotta ask: can i can steal that for personal use some time…pleeeeaaaassssseee?

        4. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Sweetbiscuit21 – Sure,I think I made it up but it might be one of those colorful Southerner-isms we are so famous for.

      3. jackie31337 Avatar
        jackie31337

        Thanks for the knit-a-kitten link sarajean80! I almost squeed audibly at work. I SO know what I’m making as Christmas gifts.

      4. develish1 Avatar
        develish1

        Don’t know if any of you will see this, but I had to share as it’s just too………well words escape me at the minute

        pet hair hat

        And yes, you read that correctly, it says pat hair hat.

        1. isaac Avatar
          isaac

          Linky brokey, Dev.

        2. develish1 Avatar
          develish1

          oh flip!

          Think I added a ‘ or something there, sorry. Try this one pet hair hat

    2. arallyn Avatar
      arallyn

      *shudder* My cat has HORRIBLE dandruff and makes a habit of sleeping on a couch of ours that’s navy blue when it’s not covered…my parents went out and bought a white cover SOLELY because of my nasty cat!

      Problem is…you still get cat dandruff on your clothes when you sit down D:

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        My cat Simon has the butt-dandruff,too.
        The best thing I’ve found for it is to get a bottle of fish oil capsules.(I use the cheapies from the dollar store)
        Poke a hole in one capsule and squirt it on the cat’s skin where the dandruff is the worse.(It will smell strongly like fish. Try not to get any on your hands and for goodness sakes don’t try to bite a hole in the capsule because you can’t find a pin. That is not a taste you want to savor.) Try to get it on the skin, not the fur, but the cat will take care of any that gets into it’s fur. Simon loves the stuff.
        That’s the usual procedure for an outbreak. As a preventative I’ll wrap Simon in a towel every two weeks, poke a hole in a capsule and administer the oil orally, then bandage my wounds. That way he won’t smell like a mackerel and it also helps with hairballs.
        Any edible oil would work if you don’t like the fish smell, I started with coconut and olive oils but he didn’t like the taste very much and it would stay in his fur for a long time, giving it a spiky porcupine look.

        1. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          Sarajean, if you ever want to visit Australia, my best friend is a crazy cat lady who would love to have you stay on her cat-shredded couch anytime you like. I don’t think any of her cats smell like mackerel though so it might not feel like home. You wouldn’t want to stay with us, as my cat abandoned me for the neighbour when i banned her from smoking in the house. She took her Uzi and buggered off.

        2. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Yes, after reading what I wrote again I think I’ve pretty much crossed the border into Crazy-cat-lady-land. Once you start rubbing oil on a cat, there’s no turning back.
          I’d love to visit Australia but I don’t think I could indure the twenty-plus hour flight from the States. The couch sounds comfy, though. It’s not bright orange, is it?

        3. Sherri Avatar
          Sherri

          You have to use the towel method? My husband was taking fish oil capsules for a long while, and our cats would HUNT HIM DOWN AND KNOCK HIM OVER to get them. We spilled the bottle once — we only found half the capsules, but cats were farting tuna all over the place. Luckily, it was summer and we could open the windows.

          Same thing with Vitamin E capsules — very popular with the feline population.

          I had a long haired dog with a skin condition for years. Golden retriever, and the poor thing was allergic to the world, pretty much. It wasn’t terribly gross. He just had a bald ass for a while and he itched if he didn’t get meds. Hair grew back after he had allergy meds except for along the top of his tail, which did look pretty pathetic, but other than that, he was a great dog.

          He was not allowed on the couch.

        4. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          He’s an old Cranky McCrankypants, if I leave the capsules intact he licks them until they are goo and then leaves them on the floor (or rug, or my hand). Towelling is the only way to make sure he actually ingests the stuff. Since I aquired the two kittens I’ve had to stop the topical method, they would follow him around like he was a god and kept trying to sneak up and bathe him while he was asleep(which is all day). Made him all paranoid and twitchy.

          I’ve had good results skin-wise with vitamin E, but the fish oil was cheaper this time around.

        5. My Evil Twin Avatar
          My Evil Twin

          Your cat had butt-dandruff and you administered the ointment orally?
          Now that’s love.

          …oh, wait… You meant you fed it to him, didn’t you?

        6. Meredith Avatar
          Meredith

          You sure love your pussies, don’t you? Ummmm….uh….I mean….:::blush:::

          You don’t brush their teeth do you? I had a vet yell at me for not doing just that on a regular basis. As if it’s “good pet owner” behavior. I decided that it might interfere with dating. Showing up on each additional date with less and less fingers may be a bit. offputting

      2. Stephanie Avatar
        Stephanie

        My cat used to have bad dandruff… I changed his diet to wet food, and made sure it had no fish or grain in it…. He’s dandruff free now!

      3. Meredith Avatar
        Meredith

        Oh, and my mom has cat that was severly allergic to the mosquito repellent that my town used to spray by the truckfull in my old town. Really….a truck would drive around, and you’d hear the “whhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvv” sound of the killer fog.

        ANYWAY…my moms cat was allergic and it made him itch so bad that he pulled almost all of his fur out. He was the fattest cat I’ve ever seen, and mostly black. So she had a black bald FAT FAT FAT cat.

        He was sunning himself on the front porch one day, and the neighborhood kids stopped and got all excited. We had a little group outside, and when I went to see what they were all freaking out about, the one goes, “WOW, you have a PIG!!! Can we pet your pot-bellied pig???”

        Yeah…not sure he’s emotionally recovered from that one.

        1. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Meredith –
          Best. Cat story. Ever. Actually made me lol.

  6. Rick Avatar
    Rick

    Damn, someone beat me to the Family Guy joke, but this DOES seem like something that Glenn Quagmire would have in his house…alright

  7. Ed Snyder Avatar
    Ed Snyder

    It’s almost like people are now TRYING to get featured on YSaC. (And I’m sad that I paid the full $36K for my 4.2 lbs. of quagmire.)

    1. Meredith Avatar
      Meredith

      Perhaps they want to make it into the book???

      1. Ed Snyder Avatar
        Ed Snyder

        Book? They can’t even find anyone to publish a t-shirt.

        1. drmk Avatar
          drmk

          Pssst … check the forums.

          (Or, alternatively, look here!)

      2. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        I’d buy a YSaC book, if for no other reason then I would be able to show people what I was talking about when I try to describe this site.

        1. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          I agree – need that book. And the couch isn’t orange, but you would have to share with two burmese known as the “zoom-around-the-room” kitties. And hey, the 20 hour flight is only bad when your two-year old throws up over the rest of the family only one hour into the 13 hour leg……ah the glamour of international travel!

        2. drmk Avatar
          drmk

          I’ve sent a proposal to an agent. Waiting to hear back. If anyone knows any literary agents, send ’em my way — apparently you can send to as many agents as you want.

    2. Meredith Avatar
      Meredith

      X-CITED!!! Hope it takes off.

  8. Emsy Avatar
    Emsy

    Business 101: when selling something too ugly to be photographed, just use a child’s drawing of it. To throw the buyers off, just claim that it is from a child-free home. They will never suspect.

    1. Ed Snyder Avatar
      Ed Snyder

      In Soviet Russia, nasty old couch puts child’s drawing of YOU on the Internet.

      1. Emsy Avatar
        Emsy

        Perfect for personal ads!

  9. sarajean80 Avatar
    sarajean80

    Yay! I’m the one who found the quagmire.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I should mention that I found this in an area that is nowhere near a wetland. The closest I know about is the Great Dismal Swamp (how’s that for a name? I think there’s a Lesser Dismal Swamp as well.) and that’s farther towards the coast.

      1. Ed Snyder Avatar
        Ed Snyder

        Yeah, I’ve walked along the “George Washington Ditch” (as if Washington did anything besides sit on his well-padded butt while black and native slaves dug the ditch) near that swamp. It gave me an appreciation for the poor folks who did dig it since DEET hadn’t been developed yet and even the DEET wasn’t keeping the skeeters at bay. At one point, my dog jumped into the nastiest water you’ve ever seen/smelled (no I don’t have synaesthesia–you could both see it and smell it (which makes me realize that someone who does have synaesthesia would possibly hear the couch and loveseat in this ad and that it would probably sound a bit like Yoko Ono)). Why is it that dogs don’t like baths but love the gross swamp water?

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Once you run out of blood though, they leave you alone, and there have been fewer cases of abduction by insect swarm in the past few years.

          It can get pretty nasty, and if you have a dog they will find the nastiest, most foul area, preferably with something that died a while ago, and roll around in it.

          You can actually taste the air when it’s high summer, with 100-plus temperatures and humidity that wraps around you like a wet wool blanket. That’s when you will find this delicate blossom inside, with the A/C blasting.

        2. Kogarashi Avatar
          Kogarashi

          Well, from what the presenter said at a recent wolf presentation at the local museum, the nasty stuff is to hide the dogs/wolves scents, while baths actually make them smell like themselves again. It’s apparently an instinct. Make it harder for prey and predators alike to notice them, at least by smell.

        3. Ed Snyder Avatar
          Ed Snyder

          I always reassured Reggie that I’d leave a little of his stink on him. That seemed to make the bathing more acceptable.

  10. Colleen in MA Avatar
    Colleen in MA

    Maybe it’s time for a “just messing with us” tag.

    1. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      *Ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*

      Give that girl a prize!

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I vote for:
      “KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!”

    3. tacomagic Avatar
      tacomagic

      I wouldn’t mind seeing a:

      “No, just… no.”

  11. flaco Avatar
    flaco

    At less than$4285.72 per pound, how can I afford NOT to buy the quagmire?

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      But what the heck is it? The almighty Google came up with nothing that made sense, just the Family Guy character, wetlands, and a brand of golf apparel. I can’t see spending that much on bad polyester plaid, but it does make sense that golfers would buy it by the pound.

      1. arallyn Avatar
        arallyn

        What, you’ve never been to a St. Vincent de Paul Dig ‘N Save? Clothes by the pound! My high school World History teacher swore by that store!

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          A Dig ‘N Save? I have never heard of that but now I very badly want to go to one. I don’t think they have them in these parts though. 🙁

        2. arallyn Avatar
          arallyn

          The one where I used to live was in a warehouse next to a shady furniture dealer and fairly poorly marked. It had all the clothes that they didn’t want to sell or couldn’t move at the thrift stores. As far as I can tell, Dig ‘N Saves aren’t nearly as common as the stores themselves. If you go on the St. Vinnie’s website and look for a store, they’re labeled “SVDP Store” as opposed to “SVDP Thrift Store”.

          Because buying clothing by the pound is apparently more of a real store than a thrift store?

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          I would categorize any store that had to weigh your clothing purchase as a thrift store.

    2. lost_compass Avatar
      lost_compass

      Gosh, I hate these mini-Madoffs scamming old folks and such. Quagmire hasn’t been above $150 an ounce since the Clinton administration. Not even ooze is trading that high these days!

      I should know.. I sank my life savings into quicksand. Yes, I went whole bog.. then the bottom dropped out of the market. 🙁

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        But the street value of quagmire is much higher, it’s bigger than piedmont right now. I’ve heard the EPA has undercover officers in high schools to stop kids from dealing in alluvial plain before it gets to be a really big problem.

        1. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          It’s all been taken over by those hard (but brittle) shale guys from the Permian Basin. Running out of oil real estate, they start inflating prices for everything else. I hear they’re in a gang war over the NJ meadowlands – gangster-rich swamp goes for higher prices than non-gangster-enriched polluted swamplands.

      2. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Tell the truth, you are an immortal or a god of some sort. You have The Gift of Paronomasia! 8o May I worship at your feats?

  12. Lola Avatar
    Lola

    Hmm, $18,000 for a quagmire? Didn’t Vietnam cost more than that? And who would want another country hanging over their fireplace? Also – I suspect that as a it’s a country it is bigger than 4.2 lbs. That’s Lichtenstein or Monaco weight.

    1. mudslicker Avatar
      mudslicker

      I believe South Korea has another country hanging over their fireplace.

  13. wahnula Avatar
    wahnula

    “No email scams please.” Yeah, that will work. Too bad, as you’ve just eliminated the only people who would be interested in this sofa!

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      It’s the “please” that does it. Spammers are known for being polite, respectful people, right?

      Right?

  14. Count Blah Avatar
    Count Blah

    The fact that the couch guy has so many cats and a dog with a skin condition makes me think “joke posting”. The sandpaper thing is kinda suspect too, but it’s somewhat feasible that someone might describe a nubby/tweedy material that way.

    Have to say, though, as someone who takes a very “clothing optional” approach to being home alone, the couch’s sandpaper texture puts me off more than any other aspect of this ad. After all, fur and canine skin fungus can be cleaned off.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      Guess that means there’s not a lot of wicker in the Blah household,right?

      1. Count Blah Avatar
        Count Blah

        Oh my god, sarajean, you just made me cackle. I woke up the cat. 😀

        You’re correct, though: no wicker. Also no vinyl; I learned my lesson from the beanbag chair I had when I was 21 (so comfy to sit in…right until you get up and leave three layers of assflesh behind).

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          The words “beanbag” and “assflesh” have collided in my head.
          Must … Stop … Thinking

        2. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          do it enough times and you’ve got a whole extra beanbag.

    2. Badcoladog Avatar
      Badcoladog

      BMI please don’t mention clothing optional and skin fungus in the same posting ever again!!

    3. Ed Snyder Avatar
      Ed Snyder

      On the flip side, if you ever get “down ‘n dirty” on a sandpaper sofa it would be like doin’ it on the beach without the undesired sand in the wrong places.

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        But you might accidentally scrape off a special tattoo in a “sensitive” place.

      2. tacomagic Avatar
        tacomagic

        I think the person advertising this sofa went about it in the wrong way. Instead of comparing it to sandpaper:

        “This couch is great for exfoliating!”

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          I don’t know if ” useful for full body exfoliation” is much of a selling point.

        2. tacomagic Avatar
          tacomagic

          Oh c’mon people pay hundreds of dollars to be covered in mud because it’s good for the skin. Why wouldn’t somebody buy an exfoliating couch complete with bio-fungal skin conditioning to keep their skin healthy and red?

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Then can I interest anyone in an all-natural beauty product produced by free range chickens fed only the finest in grain-based feeds? (additional protein provided by whatever insects stupid or suicidal enough to try to run the gauntlet through the pen) I’ll let you come over, strip down, and lay in a big pile of it while I shovel more on top of you. Bring cash or obo. No email scams, please.

  15. Yutolia Avatar
    Yutolia

    Wow… something about the “Sheepdog with a skin condition” and it having touched the couch really makes me… want to buy a different couch (preferably one that hasn’t been touched by something that might have some kind of horrible, contagious whatever)

    1. Heather Avatar
      Heather

      But it wasn’t the dog’s fault that the couch was from the Lane Country Exfoliating Collection…

      1. mudslicker Avatar
        mudslicker

        Heather, that’s CHASLEY not Lane Country! Of the East Hampton Chasleys I presume.

        I can’t quit running the loop in my head that Chasley nearly sideways-rhymes with Naaaaasty.

  16. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
    sweetbiscuit21

    I get that the couch advert is probably some kind of joke. I’m just wondering if the person advertising the quagmire thinks that “quagmire” is a classy name for something else – although just what it is i’m not sure. I am pretty damn sure it’s not worth $4285.71 per pound though.

    1. Coco Avatar
      Coco

      I’ve been trying to figure out what the person selling the “Quagmire” really means for an hour now.

      Oh my God…do you think they meant “Armoire”? Could this be the worst mangling EVER?

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        drmk asked me that when I sent this in, but the poster didn’t make it easy. In the general listings, no picture…almost like they didn’t really want to sell it.
        Given that this is the South and the mention of weight and hanging over a fireplace, I can only think that it’s some sort of taxidermied animal but I have no idea what. The closest thing to “quagmire” I’ve found is “quagga”, which:
        A)are not from ’round here, and
        B)went extinct in the 1870’s.

        1. Ed Snyder Avatar
          Ed Snyder

          “went extinct in the 1870’s”

          Well, then I guess a taxidermied quagga would be worth something. This fake is a bargain at only $112.50

        2. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          there is a species of marsupial called Quokka found on Rottnest Island – now there’s a name for y’all – and the weight would be right, but they are native only to that tiny island off the coast of Western Australia. They are very cute though – thinking of changing my avatar to fit in with all the other furry creatures.

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          “Rottnest Island” – As great as that is,I would not be able to resist adding an extra ‘e’ to that.

          The quokka is freaking adorable 🙂

        4. Coco Avatar
          Coco

          OK…but even if he does have a Quagga, that’s a kind of zebra, right? So it’s either 1) the stuffed, mounted head of a Quagga, which is so not worth $18K, or 2) he’s expecting any prospective buyers to live in a Bronte-esque mansion with a fireplace that a football team can comfortably stand in so that the full-body stuffed Quagga (which would, of course, have to be would be stuffed with…feathers? quilt batting? helium balloons? to make the weight) can be properly displayed over said fireplace.

          Clearly, I’m far more fascinated by this than is healthy.

        5. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          A museum would pay big bucks if it were a rare specimen, like a thylacine. I don’t know how rare a quagga would be.

          I am now picturing one mounted over a ginormous flagstone fireplace, flanked by a pair of dodos.

        6. tigprincess Avatar
          tigprincess

          Quagga used to be the awsome word in Scrabble – especially on triple word score

      2. asthehind Avatar
        asthehind

        A genuine stuffed quagga would be very rare. There are only 7 skeletons in existance, and one of them only has three legs (it was lost during the blitz).

        1. Coco Avatar
          Coco

          I just Googled Quaggas and found this:

          The Quagga Project

          Apparently, they’re attempting to breed a new generation of Quaggas. Like Jurassic Park, only with way less risk of being eaten by the exhibits!

        2. Count Blah Avatar
          Count Blah

          If one of the legs disappeared that means it’s a magic quagga! Prop that corner up with a book and behold the wondrousness!

      3. asthehind Avatar
        asthehind

        @Coco – It’s an interesting project. Apparently they reckon the quagga was a subspecies of zebra rather than a discrete species.

        @Count Blah – They use a metal pole actually. 😉 It’s all Hitler’s fault! The skeleton was lent to the Huntarian museum in London, and it was bombed. Here’s a picture of it:
        http://www.ucl.ac.uk/museums/zoology/highlights.html

        1. tigprincess Avatar
          tigprincess

          I knew Hilter was evil. Blowing the leg off a stuffed quagga, despicable!

  17. Coco Avatar
    Coco

    Never mind. It would have to be the world’s tiniest armoire at 4.2 pounds.

    Apparently, I suck at deciphering bizarrely misused words AND reading comprehension.

    *sulks*

    1. Heather Avatar
      Heather

      A for effort, sweetie.

      1. Coco Avatar
        Coco

        Aw, thanks.

        *cheers up*

        1. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
          sweetbiscuit21

          and it could be a french prudential dolls-house version of an “armiore”.

  18. Monica Hamburg - Your Dose of Lunacy Avatar
    Monica Hamburg – Your Dose of Lunacy

    I hope you enjoy this sandpaper-textured, skin-condition infected sofa. Please accept, as my gift, this smallpox-laden, syringe-decorated quilt.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I have a lovely set of throw pillows decorated with broken glass and shards of rusted steel, (and that have been stuffed with poison ivy) that I can offer as a gift as well.

      1. sweetbiscuit21 Avatar
        sweetbiscuit21

        the perfect hostess gift for dinner with the Addams Family.

      2. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        Modeled here, as you can see, by Typhoid Mary.

      3. Monica Hamburg - Your Dose of Lunacy Avatar
        Monica Hamburg – Your Dose of Lunacy

        @sarajean80 Sold!

  19. Sherri Avatar
    Sherri

    You know, aside from everything else, I’m stuck on the “going to live in a pop-up camper” and this person’s obvious pain at having to part from bright orange and hot pink furniture.

    Obviously, the police closed up the crack house.

    1. Ed Snyder Avatar
      Ed Snyder

      Lot of jobless people out there. Pop-up campers are a luxury when contrasted with living under a bridge.

      1. Igor the Vigorous Avatar
        Igor the Vigorous

        WILL YOU PAY THE TOLL, OR DO YOU WISH TO GO AROUND?!

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I’ve lived in a 32 ft RV for the past four years and it’s pretty cramped with just me and three cats(and about two thousand books). Pop-ups are a lot smaller, I’d have to be in pretty bad financial shape to live in one. It is a very cheap way to live if you rent a lot from someone and power is included, the things are energy hogs since they are not usually insulated for year-round living.

      1. JcT Avatar
        JcT

        My dad and step-mom have been traveling the country in a 37′ motor coach since the late 90’s. They mostly winter in Florida and summer in California. When they travel through Texas, they know my house is theirs. Sometimes it’s a little hard to get them to leave, though, because this is a nice house, and even the nicest motor coach, even one with a washer-dryer, isn’t the same as a house. How do you stand it? Have you ever wanted to build a house?

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          About 80% of my time is spent at work or driving to work, so it’s not too bad. The first three years I rented a lot at a campground but a year ago I moved to my sister’s driveway to help her with the kids while she works on some health issues. I can go inside her house any time I like, so it’s not too confining. You do tend to think very hard before you buy anything because there is so very little space.
          I am in the process of paying off a piece of property so I can build a place on it, I’m moving next month to an apartment in my parent’s house so I can work on that.

        2. Count Blah Avatar
          Count Blah

          @sarajean: the thought of ceiling-walking children is deeply creepy and I might not ever be able to sleep again.

          Edit: look at me…I’m replying to a post FROM THE FUTURE!!! I wish comments would nest more deeply. 😛

        3. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          Isaac, my mistake, no E at the end of frappr. Here’s the link:

          http://www.frappr.com/

      2. Ed Snyder Avatar
        Ed Snyder

        I didn’t get to this earlier for some reason, but my family (wife and 2 young boys–no pets currently) are temporarily living in a 30′ travel trailer. We’ve been in it for about 4 months. My wife is in the Navy and will be getting out in a few months and we wanted to save a little money while we could. When we were living in base housing, her entire housing allowance went directly back to the housing office. I, sadly, got laid off from my teaching job shortly after moving out of base housing so we haven’t really been able to save much, but at least we can still easily make ends meet.

        For us, this arrangement is just about perfect and gets us outside a lot more than we were when we lived in base housing. The only thing we really miss is a full-sized kitchen (and I also miss a large bathtub since I’m about 6’2″). We’re at a small private campground and the people around us are extremely nice and helpful.

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          I don’t know why this makes me think we should start up a frapper map. You know, just to get the idea where everyone is located. Lots of Navy in my part of the world, and lots and lots and lots of people being laid off.

        2. isaac Avatar
          isaac

          I don’t know “frapper,” but that sounds like a forum thread, at the very least.

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          The tiny kitchen is hard to get used to, but for one person it is not bad. I could never have small kids running around, though, there would be absolutely no room unless they learned how to walk on the ceiling. The bathroom is the worse, mine makes a phonebooth look roomy.
          Hopefully you’ll get things sorted out soon ♥

  20. Jami_no_e Avatar
    Jami_no_e

    This couch is perfect for that group of cherrleaders. It is all sorts of bright and cherrie, just the thing to pep those girls up for their stunting. Someone should send this to them A.S.A.P.

  21. JcT Avatar
    JcT

    I’ve posted a lot of comments on this here blog, and I have never really cared about the truthfulness of the Craigslist posting because we have had so much fun together ripping it up.

    This time, I’m drawing the line. Both of these are so fake it just isn’t worth commenting. Sorry llama-nun. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow!

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Awwww. If you think these are obviously fake, you should see some of the REALLY obviously fake ones I get sent. These look positively possible by comparison.

      1. JcT Avatar
        JcT

        Ok then, we need to pick a day to see some of the best, then. Maybe next April Fool’s day?

        I’m buying one of the large coffee mugs, by the way. I’ll grin every time I take a sip. 🙂

    2. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      For the couch I would be inclined to say “real”, I’ve seen enough like this for it to be fairly believable.

      The jury’s still out on the Quagmire, there’s just not enough info to be sure.

      1. JcT Avatar
        JcT

        That’s just the fish-oil talking.

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Could be. To many mackerel fumes.

          If anyone wants to know what I look like, that’s me. My forehead doesn’t normally look that massive,though.

        2. JcT Avatar
          JcT

          Well, as long as we’re lowering the veil a little, here’ s me without Tuffy.

          Nothing wrong with a massive forehead, sarajean, because there’s usually a massive brain behind it. 🙂

        3. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          I don’t know if this will show up for you immediately (it always takes a while for me on this computer) but here’s me. I’m dark blonde now and my hair is usually wavier (thanks to humidity). I feel weird doing this so I’ll probably go back to Catherine Deneuve after a while.

          Later Edit: OK, so that seems to have failed, or at least, it hasn’t succeeded yet. It will show up eventually.

          Sarajean – it’s just the angle. You look fine. 🙂
          JcT – your expression seems sceptical or sardonic. I think that’s perfect for YSaC. Or perhaps that’s a “What’s that cat doing now?” I suspect I have that expression a lot too.

        4. JcT Avatar
          JcT

          That was at another family gathering and that is my “ok, another picture, whee, here’s a tiny smile, ok thx bye” look. It turns out I kind of like the angle of the picture, and I think the picture captures how I feel I look.

          Here is how I did it, and maybe SaraJean too: I have an old yahoo e-mail account address that I use for possible-spam places. I went to gravatar and added the picture, then attached it to my old yahoo e-mail address. Then when I posted, I used that yahoo address with the same “JcT” name. So, I keep my Tuffy-avatar for all the other postings, but for that one posting, you see the real me.

          Did that make sense?

        5. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Strangely, it took effect on the forums but not here. I don’t get it. But if it doesn’t work here in time, I’ll try your suggestion.

        6. develish1 Avatar
          develish1

          ok, this is the most recent pic of me I could find (and yes, it was a costume party)

        7. JcT Avatar
          JcT

          Well Lola, since you are insisting on sticking with Catherine, I’m going to go with MM.

        8. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Damn, dev, I was sort of hoping you actually wore that hat about all the time! I rather like it. Of course, I live in New York, where one can wear nearly any damn thing one likes, which can be fun when the spirit moves you.

        9. Isaac Avatar
          Isaac

          Lo, you might not see this because it’s on yesterday’s post, but I looked at your new avatar for like five minutes before I figured out why you look familiar. (I have a student this semester, for the second time, who could be your kid sister.)

      2. develish1 Avatar
        develish1

        actually Lola,

        it was a friends wedding, they went for the whole medieval thing, we had a banquet, jugglers, mugs of “ale” it was great fun.

        1. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          dev – I don’t know if I’d do that for my own wedding, but it sounds like a fun one to attend!

          Isaac – I am an only child and have no children of which I am aware, so that’s interesting. Hmm!

        2. Isaac Avatar
          Isaac

          Lo: funny thing about it is that the likeness extends to the head tilt and the half-smile.

          But, you know, I’ve had probably more than a thousand students; it’d be weird if none of them resembled anyone else I ever met.

        3. develish1 Avatar
          develish1

          well they wanted something different, and it was certainly that.

          The bride had a proper medieval style wedding dress made, and the groom’s outfit was specially made too. In fact everyone was in costume, even the guests who only came for the evening part.

          I have some more pics somewhere, must dig them out.

  22. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    The couch poster has mad MS Paint skills.

  23. queensbee Avatar
    queensbee

    well, i am unfortunately late for the party. all teh good stuff already said. but people should consider just drawing their item, rather than taking a picture, that way it could look all nice and stuff. orange and pink dont go, so for that reason alone, i couldnt consider it……

  24. Legion, for we are many Avatar
    Legion, for we are many

    Nothin’ sez “Comfy” like a patch of velvety smooth sandpaper…

  25. arallyn Avatar
    arallyn

    Where’s our Igor? 😐

    1. Jami_no_e Avatar
      Jami_no_e

      I was wondering the same thing! I’ve missed his wit all day. There have even been a ton of Soviet Russia jokes for him.

      1. Lola Avatar
        Lola

        If he’s lucky, perhaps he’s working his charms on an older woman, somewhere where he’s at or past the age of consent.

        1. Count Blah Avatar
          Count Blah

          We need more funny, articulate teenagers up here in Canuckistan.

          Funny, articulate, nubile teenagers. *Drools*

          I’d been operating on the assumption that the age of consent here is 18, and targeting my unsubtle internet flirtations accordingly. Apparently until recently it was 14 and just got upped to 16. I’m surprised it was so low!

          And in case you’re wondering: no, I wouldn’t go after a 14 year old. I mean, what on earth would we talk about? 😛

      2. Ed Snyder Avatar
        Ed Snyder

        He’s a pretty impressive kid. Most people his age wouldn’t even know what the Soviet Union was and would probably never have heard a Yakov Smirnoff joke.

        1. Jami_no_e Avatar
          Jami_no_e

          Hell, I know people my age who don’t know much (if anything) about the Soviet Union and I’m 24.

        2. arallyn Avatar
          arallyn

          I’ve met people similar to him, but they tend to lurk in the shadows and aren’t too common. My brother was a good example, but that’s because my parents raised us on British comedy and NPR. We never connected well to kids our age >_>

          Jami-Yeahhhh sadly I know MANY people my age (21) that know jack about the Soviet Union, or any geography. One of my good friends was convinced that Washington D.C. was in Washington state until I yelled at her that it wasn’t and I pushed her nose to a map.

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          I love British comedy (especially Mr Bean) but I’m the only one in my circle. If I recommend a movie, the first thing most people ask me is, “Is it British?” The funniest thing ever in my opinion is the Dead Parrot sketch from Monty Python.

          I actually remember when there was a Soviet Union and seeing Yakov on TV. I think my uncle had a few of his albums that were actual albums.

          (The 80 in my username is the year I was born)
          * pause for simple arithmetic*
          ( Yeah, I’m having That Birthday next year. In January.)

        4. Jami_no_e Avatar
          Jami_no_e

          @arallyn: I grew up in Washington state in a touristy town and had dozens of people ask for the “fastest way to D.C.” While not at work I gave them the most obscure directions I could come up with, unfortunately while at work I was not allowed to do so. 🙁

        5. arallyn Avatar
          arallyn

          Oh my god Jami. That is…sad. I see all these statistics about how stupid our country is compared to others and how X% of adults dont know this or that, but I always just assume they chose a bad sample.

          I don’t think I could carry on living as a human if I didn’t keep that assumption..

        6. Lola Avatar
          Lola

          Jami,
          I grew up in Washington state and still sort of consider it home (since that’s where my parents live, even though I haven’t lived there in 14 years), and living on the East Coast I have to make a point to tell people “Washington State, not DC.” It’s not a small state and nowhere near the District but people still get it confused. Also, people don’t seem to remember it comprises a good bit of the West Coast. It’s like they think it’s all California or something. (I don’t really talk about Oregon much, except to correct people’s pronounciation of “Ore-gone” or to compare it, politically, to Vermont, because that’s what Vermont reminds me of; Oregon with more hills and no coast – in any case, I don’t know if people here realize Oregon’s on the West Coast either.)

    2. isaac Avatar
      isaac

      Should I feel hurt that no one was looking for me? (I’m out of town at a conference, but apparently I’m still checking the YSaC…)

      1. arallyn Avatar
        arallyn

        Isaac, if you don’t disappear, how are we supposed to miss you? 😛

      2. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        arallyn makes a very Zen point.

        We would miss our monk ♥

    3. procrastinator Avatar
      procrastinator

      In Soviet Union, older woman charms you.

      (How do you guys like my avatar? Neat, eh?)

      1. arallyn Avatar
        arallyn

        What would the small text say if we could see it? I know it’s one of those demotivational posters…

        1. procrastinator Avatar
          procrastinator

          Those WERE the droids you were looking for.

      2. SwissKat Avatar
        SwissKat

        “In Soviet Union, older woman charms you.” – So true.

        *Being an older woman, as compared to some, and from the Soviet Union

  26. cleaseltheweasel Avatar
    cleaseltheweasel

    I can’t for the life of me figure out what the quagmire person is actually trying to sell. My mind immediately went to drugs ($18,000 for 4.2 pounds, maybe it’s a trade name for hashish? you know, greenish and swampy?), then Iraq (but then it should be like $1 trillion – zing!). Now I’m thinking it’s someone’s test post, which is not exciting at all.

    That couch looks like my first attempt at making Sims furniture.

  27. tigprincess Avatar
    tigprincess

    OK so I made the mistake of reading this in a public place (cafe) and drinking latte so its my fault but … Farting tuna has made my mascara run and I’m getting odd looks from the management!
    Once I moved into a house (student days) so I recognise the couch. When the police came (investigating burglary)they recognized the place since 3 nurses had been stabbed there 12months earlier. When we moved some furniture and turned over the mattresses … Yup, you’ve guessed it, blood stains.
    Party on, dudes.

  28. develish1 Avatar
    develish1

    just popped in hoping someone has figured out what exactly the first guy is selling, but it seems not. anyone?

    1. JcT Avatar
      JcT

      Who knows what he’s selling, but I like that cat avatar! That is some seriously cool coloring!

    2. develish1 Avatar
      develish1

      thanks, she is a beauty isn’t she? Don’t tell her though, she’s got a big enough head as it is, she is a cat after all, lol.

      The vet described her as a blue tortoiseshell, something I’d not heard of before we got her. She’s mostly a sorta blue/grey colour, with beige & pale peach patches. Although she’s getting greyer with age.

      1. sarajean80 Avatar
        sarajean80

        I’ve heard that described as a dilute tortiseshell.

        1. develish1 Avatar
          develish1

          there’s probably several different terms for it, that’s just what the vet called her. There’s not a patch of white on her at all though, although as you can see from the pic she’s much paler than a classic tortie

          I just think she’s pretty though, no matter what we call her. Thing is though, she knows she’s pretty! lol

Leave a Reply

More posts