You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. 236: Taking one for the Team (Mobile?).

    Very Different but very cute guy available for fun or dating – 22

    Hey, “I am the gay friend”, and yes he could easily find a girl/lady and does. But, he gave me a chance to look around for him because of some stuff we talked about.

    He is:
    6’2 short blond hair, blue eyes, big arms, nice chest, nice back muscles. (Yeah, Ha ha ha okay so I check him out..lol do you blame me?)

    Personality:
    He is a self assured, motor cycle riding (sport bike), average guy, He respects women, and takes up for his friends as needed. (he has for me)

    He and I talked:
    not too long ago after I had gone out of my way to help him out (not money) more then once. He said “You know your one of those people you know you can count on. Is there anything I can do for you – no gay shit-!” I laughed and we talked for a while. I had shared I was curious about a few things:
    1. I woke up once to another friend and his girl having mad passionet sex- it actually effected me. ( I was not interested at all in girls before that Point) as well as I am not sure I am now. I am “ha ha” bi-curious towards girls I guess. — So I asked if I could watch sometime because he described to me before how he had enjoy different things with women.

    2. I was curious about how he looked Naked. I said “I know I cant have you, but really wouldnt mind seeing you.

    He told me “I could never just show you by myself, it would just seem to werid to me. I also would enjoy helping you determine in you were bi -with women- but could not do a 3 some with you.”

    I was fine with both of those.

    So I am seeking a girl/lady from 18 to 39 (he has dated up to 39 – she was hot – and thats from a gay dood..lol)

    HERE IS THE DEAL/ OPTIONS:
    1. He is willing to just let a girl get him worked up and take it out for him (he said he couldnt get hard with just me in the room etc). or

    2. He is willing (he might be scared) to let me watch him and a girl/lady have passionet sex. Providing they are willing. The one girl I knew, was afraid her breast were too small. No matter how much I tried to explain i was gay and didnt care…that it was more about seeing the passion and the fun..

    He is willing to DATE or Do a Special sexual night. He really doesnt do one night stands but if you together want to do this project he would.

    So I laughed and said “Imagin if you two hit it off, and got married…some day down the road we would sit and laugh out how you met”

    So requirments;
    That you be 18-to-39 (some older exceptions could be made)
    He prefers white, or assian or similar
    You must send picture, and I am working on getting a good dressed one of him.

    Note: I do not plan to join, I wouldnt want to offend him..unless he changed his mind. So do not worry about that. Also I am not looking to change him, so I am not looking for someone to con him into letting me do stuff to him. He is my friend and I intend to keep it that way.

    Okay, let me get this right. You’re trying to find a woman who will sleep with your straight friend while you watch, so that you can simultaneously see your good friend naked AND determine whether or not you might be attracted to women.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    And how could you have possibly explained that in any more concise of a fashion? I’m sure it couldn’t have been done in, say, 37 words and a single sentence.

  • YSaC, Vol. 235: Because there is no “eam” in T.

    Team mobile cell phone Cheap!! – $30

    I am selling a team mobile cell phone. you could use this as a replacement when yours breaks or lose it. i am only asking $30 big ones. call xxx-xxx-xxxx or email me at redsox[xxxx]@yahoo.com

    That’s right, Sparky. All of the promotional material, all of the commercials with Catherine Zeta-Jones, even the phone itself that you took a picture of — ALL of them have the name of the company wrong, and you are the only one who has gotten it right. It’s Team Mobile. Right.

    Never mind the fact that this phone is an old enough model that I can’t find any reference to it on the T-Mobile page OR the Samsung website, and that you want $30 for it. Or that you refer to dollars as “big ones”. (Or that you’re in New Jersey and have a Red Sox email address. With Yahoo.)

    Go Team Mobile!

    Edited because I forgot to upload the pictures. D’oh!

  • YSaC, Vol. 234: Spring really brings out the crazy in people.

    Most of this ad is behind a cut because it’s long. The devil in this one is in the details, and are there ever details! Be sure to click to read the entire ad.

    Build a new, rational, primitive but free life w/ me in Alaskas wild – m4w – 27

    WHO

    Me:

    – Status: 27 year old single white male. Never married. No children.
    – Physical: 6’0″ tall, 160 pounds. 21 Body Mass Index. No physical handicaps or allergies
    – IQ: 138 (Informally tested)
    – Financial: $4,500 in unsecured debt. $500 in assets
    – Education: High school diploma, Associate’s Degree. No plans for future formal education
    – Religion: Atheist
    – Psychological: Bites finger nails, drinks a little too much, uses pornography more than would like to. Sought treatment for “sex addiction.”
    – Criminal: One arrest (carrying a concealed weapon without the government’s permission).
    – Demeanor: Serious, sensitive, direct, quiet. Myers-Briggs type: INTJ
    (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. 233: I’ll take “Things You Shouldn’t Recycle” for $200, Alex.

    MUST SALE SOON

    GRAMMA PAST AND LEFT HER DENTURES COULDN’T SEE THEM GO TO WASTE. ALITTLE STAINED(GRANDMA WAS A SMOKER) IM SURE THEY CAN BE CLEANED UP SHE ONLY WORE THEM TO DR APPOINTMENTS SO THEY NOT ALMOST LIKE NEW!!! SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY WILLING TO CONSIDER TRADE FOR GOOD LAPTOP
    PLEASE EMAIL FOR FITTING APPOINTMENT EVENING TIMES MORE CONVIENENT FOR ME
    THANK YOU AND HOPE THAT WE CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT KEEP IN MIND GRANDMA WAS PETITE SO THEY WILL PROBABLY NOT FIT A BIGGER PERSON FREE HALF A TUBE OF FIXODENT AS I HAVE NO USE FOR IT
    PLEASE DONT FLAG ME

    I think this might be worse than the catheter bag and enema table. These were actually in this woman’s mouth — not to mention that she SMOKED with them in. I’m getting tongue cancer just thinking about it.

    Edited to add: Now that I’ve had my caffeine today, I realized we may have solved the problem that this woman and her daughter were going to be facing.

  • YSaC, Vol. 232: Is that like strip checkers?

    Chess of Drawers – $35

    Chess of Drawers – gold tone
    xxx-xxx-xxxx

    Kati submits this one with a one-word commentary: pAwned.

  • YSaC, Vol. 231: Would that be a jedusa? Or a Mester?

    **beautiful gester protiat – $95

    beautiful gester protait, new!! $95 obo

    231

    I prefer the amateur tiats myself. The professional ones charge too much.

    This looks more like a cross between a jester and Medusa. The gold things on the left are definitely jester tassels, but the things on the right sure look like snakes to me.

    And it’s tough to tell, since they don’t include important things like dimensions in their post, but it looks pretty big. I’m not sure I’d want something that creepy hanging in my house.

    Submitted by Dee — thanks!