2008 December 28

tax deduction

do you need a tax dedution? my daughter needs her teeth pulled. she is in her 20 and she needs all her teeth pulled. if you know a dentist that will do charity work or if you want to help her and take it as a tax dedution let us know. thank you

Candace sends this one along with this note: “I wonder if I show up with some pliers and Tylenol…do you think that would count as helping? I was just telling my friend the other day, “You know, I love to pull teeth, and I could really use a nice dedution!”


So many questions, so few capital letters. Okay, first: what is a 20, and why is your daughter in hers? I mean, I know what a 40 is, but I don’t think I could fit in that, much less in a bottle half that size.

Second, what on earth have you been feeding your daughter if she is in her 20s and needs all of her teeth pulled? I’m guessing this might be the very first time this poor girl has been to a dentist in her entire life.

Third: how exactly do you propose to have your daughter eat afterwards? You do realize you’re going to need to replace those missing teeth with something, right?

Fourth: how would this qualify as a tax deduction? As far as I know, you’re only allowed to deduct medical expenses for qualified dependents. Would paying for someone else to have their teeth removed qualify as charity? If so, would anyone out there be willing to pony up for me to have liposuction? You can deduct it from your taxes! (Note: I am not a qualified tax preparer, and this statement should not be considered as tax preparation advice.)

Fifth, and possibly most important: how did this person manage to spell “deduction” right in the headline, and misspell it twice in the ad itself?

3 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 December 28

    In all seriousness, there is a bartender at our club up North where our cabin is (definitely a redneck-y area) who is in her 30s and recently had all her top teeth pulled. Her husband is laid off and she got sick of having to have work done to her teeth so she decided to just get them all pulled. She’s hoping to get dentures if her husband goes back to work, but for now she’s managing without them. According to her, the braces she had as a teenager “rotted all her teeth.”

    I do wish that my mom loved me enough to advertise on craiglist for someone to pull all my teeth out, though.

    Adores: 0
  2. 2008 December 28
    Heidi permalink

    I have heard of people doing that…but dear lord, I think it would be worth the pain just to deal with getting work done on your real teeth than having them all pulled at once. My mouth hurts just thinking about it.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 January 3
    Chris permalink

    I’m pretty sure that 10-20 is the CB radio code for “location.” It’s often shortened to “twenty.” For example:

    MT: “Major Tom to Ground Control, what is your twenty? – over”
    GC: “Major Tom this is Ground Control. My twenty is about two clicks west across the ravine.”

    So technically I am in my 20 right now as I write this. I am almost always in my 20. You are probably in your 20 too!

    There’s also something about CB radios that almost always go along with missing teeth, which might help explain why she needs her teeth pulled.

    Adores: 17

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