Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet – £1000000 (pacific coast)
-DA VINCI NIRVANA CABINET-(Leonardo da Vinci used pattern recognition to come up with new ideas. In, A Way of Stimulating and Arousing the Mind to Various Inventions, Leonardo advised himself and others to “look at a wall spotted with stains, or with a mixture of different kinds of stones; if you have to invent some scene, you may discover a similarity with different kinds of landscapes, embellished with mountains, rivers, rocks, trees, plains, wide valleys and hills in a varied arrangement: or, again, you may see battles and figures in action or strange faces and costumes, and an endless variety of objects which you could reduce to complete and well-drawn forms.” So pay attention to the master and see what is in this cabinet’s woodgrain.)
So you’ve seen the Da Vinci Code Miracle Door, the completely coincidental trinity of figures appearing in the woodgrain of my cabinet door. Now it’s time to see the rest of the story: The opposite door which makes up The Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet! So you’ve seen the door on the right with the Sign of the grail(a V) above the headless nude woman (the disempowered Magdalene)which has the shape of a fish (in some forms, the Christ sign)in what could be the sun (though dark). SO now to add another chapter to this story, the DOOR ON THE LEFT: The Da Vinci Nirvana Door. Now to look at this door we will rotate it so that the left side becomes the top. Now you can see if you’ll look closely, a rising out of the woodgrain on the right side ( above what looks a little like the start of a fleur-de-lis on it’s side) that becomes a round circle of lines radiating outward. From this the lines widen out and on the left side they take on the shape of a mushroom. This is important and what comes next is even more so. The next line breaks the mushroom mold and forms a nose over a neck and chin making a face looking upward to the heavens. YOW! Then in the next line radiating out from it, the face’s mouth is agape with awe and wonderment at what it has beheld and in the following lines the face is absorbed into the universe at one with everything. Knowing all things and making only those ripples in the ocean of creation that serves all and destroys only that which wants to be destroyed and be transformed because it is time. SO to sum up: The Da Vinci Nirvana Door shows us the start of an insular self-centered mushroom-like (kept in the dark and fed bullshit) existence perceiving that the heavens somehow revolve around it not aware of the careless ripples it makes in the ocean of the universe (with luck it’s universe will be small surrounded by other insular self-centered universes)And then it begins to realize BANG the universe does not revolve around it and ZOW it percieves a woodwork of thought, action, consequence and existence that inspires awe unlike any it had experienced before. And then KABLOOIE it becomes as one with the universe and it’s workings. There ya’ go, a whole ‘nother door to complete the Da Vinci Code Miracle Door/Da Vinci Nirvana Cabinet Mega Coincidence, umm…Miracle? AND it’s still only a million dollars or best offer! Not for sale to people who want to use it to start a war or lord it over people for the sake of it. If you buy it and do these things or attempt to do these things, you must return the cabinet to me and no refund will be forthcoming to you and this is a rule of this sale. It is alright though to make peaceful wads of money to be used worhtwhiley off of it though, as long as all subsequent owners understand that Karma will (if not an actual agent of myself) have total and lawful contracted authority to wrest the cabinet away from whomever they are and bitch-slap them back into their mushroom phase of existence. Price : £1,000,000.00 or best offer.
Up until the point they specified that it wasn’t for sale to people who want to use it to start a war or lord it over other people, I was right there with them — if I had this, I would absolutely lord it over everyone else.
I’m also wondering what would happen if you got this piece of furniture too close to the flying chair.
This was posted in the London Craigslist. I didn’t realize England had a coastline on the Pacific. That must just be me, in my insular self-centered universe, not realizing that the ocean of creation has no physical boundaries and that the KABLOOIE can make the Pacific Ocean one with the England universe.
I think I’m going to have to start a new tag for this one — “trying too hard”. There’s clever, and then there’s trying too hard to be clever.
I need a pelm pilot, treo, i phone, sidekick, etc. nE W COOL pHON
IM looking for a new phone ATandT compatatable Cell phone…
And I will create a Logo and a Simple BUT PROFESSIONal 2 PAGE WEBSITE for you…
cALL ME AT xxx. xxx. xxxx
The mind boggles at what this person’s PROFESSIONal two page website would look like, since it aPPEARS as tHOUGH hIS CApS LOcK BUTTOn HaS a RaNDom ToGGLE on it.
I am moving Oct. 21 into an apt. complex that does not allow animals. I need of a loving family for my adorable monkey. His name is Frankie…. Katie xxx-xxx-xxxx
Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch my monkey! Love him!
Poor Frankie the tiny monkey with photoshopped horns. Poor Katie with her moving and her phone number on the internet for lunatics to call. Too bad none of it’s true.
Sensible [college] senior seeks beneficent academic, advanced degree student, or otherwise professional writer to act as guide through the vicissitudes of writing. Though my trouble with writing remained a private albatross for years, I don’t want my last semester to turn out like the never-ending story on account of a few papers, and, ahem, a thesis. A helpful sensei would read essay drafts, provide compositional and critical theoretical feedback, and be generally, sensitively, and honestly encouraging. I’m open to email correspondence or face to face meetings. In exchange for your services, I will cook, clean, babysit, or perform any other reasonable and ordinary unskilled labor or light techie task you need.
Most likely translation: Despite the fact that I clearly know my way around the English language and a thesaurus, I’m terminally lazy and want someone to write my senior thesis for me.
Apparently this genius believes that all you have to do is yell out the name of the thing you want and it will magically appear for you.
Let me try: Ewan McGregor!!!! Where are you, Ewan McGregor?
*looks around*
Damn.
Or maybe he’s misplaced his own hollow body electric, and he’s calling to it to get it to come home, like a lost puppy. If B.B. King was doing this, he’d be yelling out “Lucille!!!!”, but maybe this guy hasn’t gotten around to anthropomorphizing his guitar yet.
Anyway, let me try this misplaced-item theory: car keys!!!! Where are you, car keys?
*waits*
Nope. Damn.
Or maybe he’s searching for the Whitman poem, “I Sing the Body Electric“, and stating in his own postmodern way that he believes the poem to be hollow. The venerable expert on poetry, Sparknotes, states that in Whitman’s poem, “[t]he body becomes sacred through its linkage with the soul; while it is only the soul’s helper or accomplice, it nevertheless does not deserve second-rate status, for it enables not only spirituality but also poetry.” Clearly this poster believes that by calling the body electric hollow, he is pointing out that a lack of spirituality leaves one’s soul hollow, as it were.
*nods* That must be it. Thank you, oh wise sage. You have saved my Craigslist-embattled soul.
