You Suck at Craigslist

Author: drmk

  • YSaC, Vol. XXXII

    orange neon sign – $5

    orange when lit…reads 4995…

    Right. Okay then. I hope you won’t mind me asking, but are you sure you want $5 for it … or do you want $9? What? Why am I asking that? Oh, no reason.

    Perhaps more puzzling — what does one do with a neon sign that says 4559 (or 4995, for that matter)?

  • YSaC, Vol. XXXI

    MONKEY TISSUE HOLDER – $150

    The “Monkey Tissue Holder” features the ‘Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil’ monkeys sitting one on top of the other. The stick is a plunger on the top of the monkey’s head and will hold up to 3 rolls of toilet paper and the bottom monkey holds a single roll. This statue makes a great addtion to any powder room. The orginal price is $175, selling it at $150 but negotiable. Thanks
    Features: Height: 32 inches Width: 10 inches Depth: 8 inches Holds up to 4 rolls of toilet paper

    Classy.

    You know what’s even better? (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. XXX

    Small animal cage – $15

    Small animal cage, great for transportation. Only $15.

    I’m having a real perspective problem here. At first I thought the pictures were upside down, and I was trying to figure out how someone could post pictures upside down.

    Then I realized that if they were upside down, the bedding in the carrier would be floating on the top of the carrier, so the pictures must be right side up.

    Which means that the carrier is right side up, and floating against the ceiling of someone’s garage.

    Maybe that’s why it’s great for transportation — the carrier itself is lighter than air.

  • YSaC, Vol. XXIX

    Cemetary plot @ Rosehill Cemetery – $3750

    Lovely location by the tree and duck pond. Retails for $3,927
    Owner will pay legal processing fee of ownership $150.

    Includes:
    •Property
    •The vault
    •Vault handling
    •Opening & closing
    •Granite marker, installation, engraving

    Let’s see… $3750 + $150 … woo hoo! I’ll save $27 and I’ll be able to look out at the duck pond for all eternity. I’m sold.

  • YSaC, Vol. XXVIII

    not sure how to word this – m4w – 29

    like the title says, not sure how to word this.

    I’m looking for a girl who wants more in her sex life. I guess thats what I’m looking for. I’ve been married for a few years now, but our sex life seems dull and lacking.

    are you in the same position?

    Maybe we could help each other out. obviously must be discrete.

    Here, let me help you figure out how to word that:

    I want to cheat on my wife with someone who will do the freaky things she won’t do.

    Does that help?

    And damn it, it’s discreet. Why do so many people misspell that one?

  • YSaC, Vol. XXVII

    15” Dolphin Plasma Lamp – $50

    Beautiful blue glass sculpture that shines brightly when turned on. Great for decoration. Purchased for $85.00 from Spencers!!!

    Ah, Spencers … that purveyor of fine home decorations on a par only with the Fingerhut catalog and Avon.