You Suck at Craigslist

Category: general

  • YSaC, Vol. L

    Make me an offer

    Check out the pics. Send me a note if you want more info. Make me an offer.

    Two thoughts come to mind here:

    1. You know what would be really useful here? A size. Even if it was just a general idea of whether this is cut for a stick or a walrus.
    2. Am I making an offer on the dress itself, or for the time of the person wearing the dress? ‘Cause that dress is kind of skanktacular, and if I read “Make me an offer” with a sort of Mae West voice going on in my head, it takes on a completely different meaning.

  • YSaC, Vol. IL

    Century 21 Home Towne Realty sign – $10

    Century 21 Home Towne Realty sign for sale. Was used by a previous realtor. Just the sign, not the post. only 10 dollars.

    Just the sign, not the post … because you’re selling the post for $15 in another ad. (more…)

  • YSaC, Vol. XLVIII

    Antique Grapette Soda Bottles Two Never Opened – $5

    Antique Grapette Soda Bottles Two Never Opened Grapette Sodas
    Small Grapette Logo at Top on the Front and Back
    Front Reads: Contains 6 Fl. Oz., Large Grapette Logo, Reg. Us. Pat. Off, Grape Soda
    Back Reads: Imitation Grape Flavor, Ingrediants, Carbonated Water, Cane Sugar, Dextrose Grape Juice, Tartaric Acid, Esters, Certified Color, Less than 1/10 of 1% Benzoate of Soda. Licensed by The Grapette Company Camden, Arkansas Copr. 1946 TG. Co. Bottled By Grapette Bottling Co. Socorro, N.M.

    Asking $5 each.

    Wow, the bottle looks a lot different than I’d imagined.

    Submitted by Kris — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. XXXVIII

    Group participation. Write your own comment!

    camouflage hip waiters – $15

    i have camouflage hip waiters size 11 mens, used once.
    great buy only 15.00

  • YSaC, Vol. XXIX

    Cemetary plot @ Rosehill Cemetery – $3750

    Lovely location by the tree and duck pond. Retails for $3,927
    Owner will pay legal processing fee of ownership $150.

    Includes:
    •Property
    •The vault
    •Vault handling
    •Opening & closing
    •Granite marker, installation, engraving

    Let’s see… $3750 + $150 … woo hoo! I’ll save $27 and I’ll be able to look out at the duck pond for all eternity. I’m sold.

  • YSAC, Vol. XXVI

    Parade Float Castle – FREE

    Have an upcoming parade? We built this castle for a “candyland” themed parade. It is light-weight (made of tissue and chicken wire) and built on pallets for easy lifting to your trailer or wagon. It stands a little over 6′ tall and about 5 feet wide. Hoping someone can use…it was a first place winner! If you pick up up….it’s yours!

    Wait … if someone buys a pre-made parade float, how are they going to do the obligatory montage scene in the movie? You know the one — first you show the kids hard at work on the float, then you show the clumsy kid knocking something over and everyone laughing with (not at) him … then you show the hero and heroine conveniently working on the same part of the float, and something cute happens and they both smile and fall in love instantly … someone decorates something differently than what they’re supposed to and everyone comes over and looks at them disapprovingly but lovingly … and all the while, a catchy, peppy rock song is playing in the background. At the end, everyone collapses in exhaustion onto their impossibly perfect float, with flowers and sawdust impeccably placed in their hair to make them look adorable.

    Seriously, you can’t just BUY a parade float … you have to montage one. Everyone knows that.

    Also: Why is Santa dressed as the Pope of Candyland?