You Suck at Craigslist

Category: jewelry

  • YSaC, Vol. CXCV

    ** TIFFANY & CO ** Necklace & charm set! heart tag style!! – $1

    This is a brand new never worn authentic Tiffany & Co sterling silver bracelet and necklace set. The retail value for this set is OVER $500. I’m lettin this set go for $300obo. Included are necklace, bracelet, 2 pouches, bag, box, and cleaning cloth! It’s Christmas so don’t miss out on this exclusive gift for her!

    This item is available for pick-up only!!

    There’s nothing really wrong with this ad itself, other than that there’s a little too much excitement! in! the! description!! But no, the hilarity comes elsewhere. Let’s look at the pictures, shall we?

    195b

    That’s okay … it’s a good display of the jewelry; it’s tough to take a close picture in focus if you don’t have a good macro lens, so we can forgive that. Moving on …

    195c

    Nicely displayed so you can see everything … but … what’s the display on? That’s not … could it be? No, it couldn’t, could it?

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  • YSaC, Vol. CLXXXVI

    OBAMA CRYSTAL BRACLET – $20

    Original Sworaski crystal bracelet. Letters are all crystals on a black rubber and stanless braclet….Hurry…time running out

    April found this listing and sent it in, saying “Look at all those “Sworaski” crystals! And on a “stanless braclet”! Can we really have this much glamour for only $20? YES WE CAN!”

    Besides, what’s the hurry? From what I hear, he’s going to be president for at least the next four years. That’s enough time for every person in the country to buy a BeDazzler and imprint his name on every item of clothing they own. Hey, that sounds like a pretty good economic recovery package, actually. Stimulate the economy, and sparkle while you’re doing it!

    *Warning: craptacular video on the BeDazzler site. You’ve been warned.**

    **Sppoookky warning from the future! As of 2011, there is no longer a BeDazzler website! You’ve been warned!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLV

    wedding set – $125

    I have a 10 k wedding set for sale…..what you see is what you get….little small but very attractive set……if interested contact xxxxxxxxx@aol.com….thanks

    Oh, you’re right, that’s lovely. I particularly like the way the … um … or maybe it’s the … hmmm.

    I’m actually half-convinced that this person posted a picture of their cervix. I can’t figure out what else this could possibly be.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXVII

    HALF KARATE RING MUST SELL! – $500

    The ring is antiquish looking and very ellegant. I’ve loved the time I’ve had with it, but I must sell it. It has a circular setting and a thin band. On the band there are four diamons the align each side. THe setting is first, a circle of diamonds( small) then second another circle of diamonds( there bigger then the other ones) then third about a fourth of karate of a diamond in the middle. It’s very flashy, but not too much. It’s got the right amount of class. If your interested please contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or xxxxxxxxx@msn.com

    The half judo rings usually go for much, much more. I’d be worried about the ring trying to kick my ass, though — even if it only half-knows karate, that’s still a lot more than I know.

    Or maybe it’s a ring with Wonder Twins powers — maybe there’s a matching ring out there that, if you touch them together, you end up with full karate ass-kicking powers. That’d be fun.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXVII

    I WILL TRADE MY 1/4 CARROT DIAMOND EARINGS

    I got these as a gift from my ex and no longer want them. I am looking for items equal to their price {$250} I am looking for a laptop,and daycare items mainly. I need lockers for storing childrens items,table and chairs for kids,playpens,cots,cubbies,desks,learning and craft materials,hloiday decorations,childrens rugs,highchairs,strollers, step 2 toys {kitchens,toy box etc.} and anything else you wish to offer…Please not more than 20 minutes from [location redacted]

    Thanks

    Well, obviously the guy is her ex — I mean, who gives their girlfriend only one-quarter of a carrot? I mean, one-quarter of an onion is fine — in fact, I think that’s the present for the four-month anniversary — but one-quarter of a carrot?

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