You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CXVII

Written by

drmk

in

,

I WILL TRADE MY 1/4 CARROT DIAMOND EARINGS

I got these as a gift from my ex and no longer want them. I am looking for items equal to their price {$250} I am looking for a laptop,and daycare items mainly. I need lockers for storing childrens items,table and chairs for kids,playpens,cots,cubbies,desks,learning and craft materials,hloiday decorations,childrens rugs,highchairs,strollers, step 2 toys {kitchens,toy box etc.} and anything else you wish to offer…Please not more than 20 minutes from [location redacted]

Thanks

Well, obviously the guy is her ex — I mean, who gives their girlfriend only one-quarter of a carrot? I mean, one-quarter of an onion is fine — in fact, I think that’s the present for the four-month anniversary — but one-quarter of a carrot?

1/4 carrot ring set – $450

I bought this ring for $1200 a couple years ago and needless to say things did not work out, sure you know that since I am selling the ring. Jewelry stores will not buy stones under a carrot from what i have found so figured I would try to sell it here. It is a size 7, of course it can be re-sized if needed. In great condition and hopefully will be a great deal for someone that does not have the money to pay a jewelry stores top dollar prices. Call me, Jason, if interested at xxx-xxx-xxxx (cell).

Jewelry stores will not buy stones under a carrot because if they did, they’d be buying stones underground. Or stones that have been stored under a root vegetable. And that’s just weird.

1/4 Carrot Dimond Ring OBO – $150

I have a size 7 or 8 1/4 Carrot Dimond Ring 150 OR BEST OFFER

It’s size 7 OR 8? Those are kind of different. Oooh, and it’s a dimond.

I almost feel bad for these people; I mean, selling an engagement ring on Craigslist means that something went very, very wrong in your life somewhere. I like to think that it’s the fact that they couldn’t spell carat.

Comments

7 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CXVII”

  1. Jackie Avatar
    Jackie

    I laughed out loud at the part about “they’d be buying stones underground. Or stones that have been stored under a root vegetable.” Fortunately, my co-workers already know I’m insane.

  2. Random Person Avatar
    Random Person

    I do a lot of editing and I use up a lot of carets. I wonder if anyone on CL is selling carets? I don’t think 1/4 of one would be helpful though. It’d look like an apostrophe.

    Also, I thought of you yesterday when I listened to an interview with a young man who was explaining that he liked to bicycle naked as a protest but couldn’t actually state what he was protesting (“um, that’s actually a hard question, that’s what I said when the prosecutor asked me, um, it’s hard to say, ummm [long vacuous silence], um, too much car traffic in my neighborhood?”) and I thought: “humanity is doomed!”

  3. jess Avatar
    jess

    i can’t tell if it is sarcasm or not, but i think you all mean karat. like 24k = 24 karet gold?

  4. jess Avatar
    jess

    i cant believe i just typo’d a correction lol. here is the proper one…

    i can’t tell if it is sarcasm or not, but i think you all mean karat . like 24k = 24 karat gold?

  5. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    carat = karat when talking about gemstone measurement or purity of gold. (Both spellings are acceptable.)

    caret = this character: ^

  6. El Kev Avatar
    El Kev

    So, for $250, this woman (we’re assuming it’s a woman) is wanting children’s items (understandable) or a laptop? Sooooooooo, in the breakup, she gets the ring and the kids, and he gets their toys and storage devices and things like that? What a bastard.

  7. El Kev Avatar
    El Kev

    Oh, and the thumbnail pic next to Jess’s name is pretty cute.

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