You Suck at Craigslist

Category: baby & kid stuff

  • YSaC, Vol. 1729: Send me an Angle.

    Beany Baby, Princess Diane – $80

    Princess Diane Beany Baby, Valued at $1`49.00, Selling for $80.00.

    Princess, Like an angle she came from heaven above. She shared her compassion, her pain, her love. She only stayed with us long enough to teach the worlf to share, to give, to reach.

    Intrigued, I went and looked into what Princess Diane Beanie Babies are actually selling for. Turns out there are people actually asking hundreds of thousands of dollars for these things on eBay. Sadly, they’re only worth about ten bucks. There goes THAT retirement plan. I guess I’ll have to go back to trying to teach the worlf to share, and keep it company.

    Thanks for the post, Maggie!

  • YSaC, Vol. 911: Honey, I nuked the baby.

    Baby/Toddler toys

    We have a 2 year old boy, and have amassed a pile of his toys to give away. Most are in good shape, some need new batteries.

    We are on the westside of [location]. I also have cloth diapers to give away (separate posting)

    203

    Parent #1: Honey, where’s the baby?

    Parent #2: In the other room, playing with his new toy.

    Parent #1: That was a great find. Who knew that Playskool makes toys that teach toddlers about dielectric heating?

    Parent #2: Playskool? I thought it said Kenmore on the door.

    Parent #1: Hmm, must be some knockoff company. Well, I’m sure it will be fine. It is a baby toy, after all. The Craigslist post said so.

    [from other room]: Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. <<<ZAP>>> … sizzle

    Parent #1: What happened to the lights?

    Parent #2: What’s that burning smell?

    Parent #1: Where’s Fluffy?

    Okay, okay, that’s morbid. I was initially hoping this would be an instance of reflectoporn, but no such luck.

    [edited by drmk: oops, I set this to publish in 2009, so it showed up way back in the archive. D’oh.]

  • YSaC, Vol. 606: It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen!

    A lurning tool for your child – $12

    You are buying a tool to lurn by. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx or e-mail me. I will mail to you. It’s ok to contact me about similar items.

    399

    You know, I’m glad to see this. Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children lurning? This proves that our children is lurning! Or, at least, they can if you buy them this tool to lurn by. Look, everyone, it lurns you cat math! 3+5 = 13!

    I keep trying to read the letters on the bottom and make them into a word. I vote for “APQXRYSFN” as the band name of the day.

    licenced child care provider has 2 opening’s

    Hello, my name is [name] i am a licenced child care provider i have 2 child care spot’s available.
    INFANT SPOT UNDER 2
    TODDLER SPOT 2 AND OVER
    I have been doing child care now for over 4 year’s i am liceneced thru the state and the Airforce i have a 4yr old daughter of my own and i have 3 other children enrolled.
    I do have references available upon request i have a daily schedule i try to stick to i do have plenty of fun time in my schedule but i also have an hour a day set to “school” type learning we work on all kinds of thing’s sign language letter reconition spelling of there name’s and shapes color’s numbers etc i offer a fun clean loving enviroment and i do serve breakfast am snack lunch and afternoon snack we go outside almost daily weather permitting we do craft’s and baking activites etc there are plenty more things we do but to much to write if you are interested please shoot me an e-mail or feel free to call me personally @ xxx-xxx-xxxx Thank’s so much and have a great day!!!!

    Just as long as she’s not teaching punctuation, capitalization, homonyms, and pluralization.

    Here’s how you know I’m a gigantic geek (other than the myriad other ways you know I’m a gigantic geek if you read this blog on a regular basis): I spent way too long trying to decide what she thinks the rules for pluralization with an apostrophe are. For example, why do spot’s, opening’s, year’s, thing’s, name’s, color’s, craft’s, and thank’s get apostrophes to make them plural, while references, kinds, shapes, numbers, and the second occurrence of things not get subjected to her wanton use of apostrophes to create plurals? After careful consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S DOING. She’s been huffing the finger paints.

    Thanks for the submissions, ochoco and backlitleo!

  • YSaC, Vol. 380: 2+2=5.

    2 platnum journy albums – $2000

    I have 2 platnum journy albums I have no use for them, I dont hang them up and they just collect dust,
    I am asking $2000 for one or $5,000 for both. Email me or call for info @ xxx-xxx-xxxx

    380

    Andy submitted this ad, saying, “For some reason this was posted under photo/video. However, since I’m a big fan of journy, I’m going to buy one of them for $2000. Then I will call back right away and buy the second one for $2000, thus saving $1000 relative to if I had bought them both at the same time. Because $5,000 (with a comma, unlike $2000) is a bit much, even for platnum.”

    Rainbow Swing Set – $10000

    King Kong Double Whammy Rainbow Play System. Two king kong swing sets put together to make the ultimate play system for your kids. My husband is relocating for his job and unfortunately the swing set must go. We are willing to sell as one large set, or possible two seperate swing sets for $4,500. There are many forts, a large tunnel, two slides, 3 swings, one disc swing, tire swing, monkey bars, gymnastics bars, and play area for sand. If interested you can call at xxx-xxx-xxxx. More pictures available upon request.

    380a

    As if to prove that a lack of math skills isn’t limited to fans of misspelled bands, Nikki sends this one in, saying, “This person may have a ten thousand dollar playset but they’re lacking some math skills. Buy the entire playset for $10k OR they will split it into two parts for $4,500 each. I’m wondering, can I buy the whole thing in two sets or should I send my husband after the second half? It would save a thousand bucks.”

    I’m hoping the kids weren’t homeschooled.

    Thanks, Andy and Nikki!

  • YSaC, Vol. 210: Keep on swimming, keep on swimming …

    Huge Blue Monkey perfect condition – $20

    You have to have it your kids will love it. It’s over 2 feet tall! Here are some pics below. If you have any other questions just e-mail me at xxxx.xxxxx@yahoo.com

    210

    That’s right, a huge blue monkey. Monkeys, as you know, are marsupials who live in the ocean. Their gills help them swing from tree to tree underwater. Their plush fur helps them survive in the Arctic jungles. Their diet consists mainly of tamales and Fun Dip, and they are world’s primary producer of elbow macaroni.

    (Now, in all fairness, there is something called a Pacific Monkeyfish. It looks a little different than the one being advertised, though, so I don’t think that’s what’s causing the confusion here:)

    210a

    That’s not even a little bit cuddly.

    I’m crediting this one to “D.L.”; they’ll know why.

  • YSaC, Vol. CXXXVIII

    Video game player – $2

    Play video games on your tv with this joystick. Pacman etc Old School games
    asking $2.00, gently used
    exact cash please

    I’m tempted to buy this and give them exactly $2.00, but in unwrapped pennies.

    This was listed under “baby & kid stuff” … because there’s nothing better for your baby than video games from the 1980s. I mean, let’s be honest … for a child of the ’00s who has been brought up on Grand Theft Auto and other games, Pac-Man isn’t exactly going to be the most exciting game for them. It’s more likely to appeal to an old geezer like me. Sigh.