You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: humanity is doomed

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXVI.v

    A bonus for New Years Eve:

    flammable stuff for new years party!!!

    we are looking for stuff to burn for winterburn’s rockin new years eve party! desks, couches, christmas trees, anything that will go up in righteous new years flaming glory! contact dan winterburn @ xxx-xxx-xxxx. asap!!!

    1665

    I’m going to file this one under “this can only end badly”. In fact, I think I might actually need to start a tag for that.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXIV

    what kind of guy rejects a married woman??

    just curious

    The kind of guy who doesn’t want to have to sneak out the back door with his pants around his knees when the husband/family member/friend comes home unexpectedly?

    Wouldn’t the more appropriate question be, “What kind of guy doesn’t reject a married woman?” And luckily, we’ve seen the answer to that question.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXIII

    tax deduction

    do you need a tax dedution? my daughter needs her teeth pulled. she is in her 20 and she needs all her teeth pulled. if you know a dentist that will do charity work or if you want to help her and take it as a tax dedution let us know. thank you

    Candace sends this one along with this note: “I wonder if I show up with some pliers and Tylenol…do you think that would count as helping? I was just telling my friend the other day, “You know, I love to pull teeth, and I could really use a nice dedution!”

    Hm.

    So many questions, so few capital letters. Okay, first: what is a 20, and why is your daughter in hers? I mean, I know what a 40 is, but I don’t think I could fit in that, much less in a bottle half that size.

    Second, what on earth have you been feeding your daughter if she is in her 20s and needs all of her teeth pulled? I’m guessing this might be the very first time this poor girl has been to a dentist in her entire life.

    Third: how exactly do you propose to have your daughter eat afterwards? You do realize you’re going to need to replace those missing teeth with something, right?

    Fourth: how would this qualify as a tax deduction? As far as I know, you’re only allowed to deduct medical expenses for qualified dependents. Would paying for someone else to have their teeth removed qualify as charity? If so, would anyone out there be willing to pony up for me to have liposuction? You can deduct it from your taxes! (Note: I am not a qualified tax preparer, and this statement should not be considered as tax preparation advice.)

    Fifth, and possibly most important: how did this person manage to spell “deduction” right in the headline, and misspell it twice in the ad itself?

  • YSaC, Vol. CLXI

    Jack Russell Terrior Male 2 yrs all shots, full bred, papers

    This is Stewie! He is an adorable Jack russell terrior who needs a loving home! He would be a great christmas gift! Sadly we have to move and can not take him with us. 🙁 He needs a yard and lots of love! Please only respond if your serious! Christmas is nearing and thats when we move! xxxxxxx88@yahoo.com

    Thanks!

    161

    Apparently “lots of love” = alcohol. At least they didn’t insist on someone responsible. Maybe they should insist on someone who can spell terrier, though.

  • YSaC, Vol. CLIX

    FREE STUFF… ALL GOOD STUFF..COME GET IT!!!

    I PUT OUT SOME STUFF THAT YOU CAN HAVE FOR FREE. THERE IS A ROSE COLORED CHAIR. EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE. IT IS LOCATED AT [location redacted]. WE ARE NEXT TO JOHN’S AUTO PARTS IN THE MOBILE HOME PARK. WE ARE IN THE VERY BACK, 2 BLOCKS FROM POLK. IT IS IN THE FRONT OF MY HOME ON THE CURB, SO YOU DON’T NEED TO COME INTO THE YARD. IF YOU NEED HELP LOADING IT, JUST KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I WILL DELETE THIS POSTING WHEN IT IS GONE. ITEMS HAVE BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE AND MIGHT NEED SOME CLEANING, BUT OTHER WISE IT ALL WORKS FINE. THANKS FOR LOOKING…..SEE THE PICTURE…..

    159

    What amuses me about this is that by the time she got around to taking pictures of the free stuff on the curb, it had already been sitting outside long enough to have accumulated a thick layer of snow. And who wouldn’t want an upholstered chair that has had four inches of snow on it?

    Submitted by Martha — thanks!

  • YSaC, Vol. CLVI

    Relationship Advicer…………

    I’m not educated and I haven’t had a whole lot of experiences in relationships, but I do know about relationships and about love and I have had friends and family come to me for advice on relationships and sometimes other things and I was successful on the advice that I have given and I have been told that I’m wise beyond my years.So if you need some advice on relationships or if I can help you on something else, I will surely try, if I can.

    Just email me with you problems or what you may need advice on and I’ll do my best to advice you. Thanks

    Dear Relationship Advicer;

    I have a problem. I keep asking unqualified people for advice. Do you have any suggestions that might help me?