You Suck at Craigslist

Tag: maybe it’s just me

  • YSaC, Vol. 262: Today’s lesson — the singulare tantum.

    FREE UNDERWEARS!!!

    anyboody want some free underwears? i got 9 mens large breefs. desent shape, no big holes, no skid marks. i didtn wear them hardly much and dont fit no more. my loose is you’re gain!

    257

    Juliet sends this one in, saying, “I do like the variety of underwear displayed. You have the leg-hugging shorts, lots of basic black (it’s always chic, a man’s version of the little black dress), and the  velour couch-print speedo-style; but my favourite for sure are the beigey-pinky briefs. It doesn’t get any sexier than those. And no skid marks? How awesome is that? Cuz, when I want free underwears, skid marks are a dealbreaker. So are big holes, although I don’t mind a few small ones. One has to have standards when it comes to free underwears. I can’t just take just any free underwears from just anyboody. And best of all, their loose is my gain! How can anyoone pass up such a great offer?”

    Yup, that about covers it. Unlike those leopard-print speedos.

    Is it really geeky of me to be amused that the phrase singulare tantum has a plural form? Yeah, I thought so.

  • YSaC, Vol. 247: Let me guess .. you’re divorced, right?

    And now for your daily dose of rampant misogyny …

    Boat/Stuff/cheap..

    Please!!
    No BUba thinking picking a free deal….
    Most ive bought was Quailty (G0/2/Marine.com}(West/Marine} No! Wall-Mally Crap!!
    Item….1 Bimini Top.. Was $325.. sell for for $125. 88”wide x56” high 7’x7” long.. please if u women cant mesure d/not e-mail..
    Boat Propeller 14” x 19 deg’s Stainless Steel all most new. look at most marine shop’s …Fish/Finder /Eagle /Ultra/Classic..Lady dont call what color come’s in White…Next!!! G.P.S. Garmin!! 2003 yep old but work’s like new..V.H.F. Realistic Marine Radio!! Yes LADY,, it’s a so called c/b but no V.H.F. ask your dad!! next Item///Last … Outboard/tram/mount/great .. recommended not over 40hp.. Call PH.xxx-xxxx E-Mail xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com [location]..

    Clearly no women could ever be entrusted to MESURE something properly, and obviously women are so stupid that they have to ask a man to explain complicated things like VHF radios. After all, we’re more worried about things like whether the propeller will match our handbag and shoes.

    It was really difficult for me to not leave in the phone number and email on this one, and to not encourage those of us with two X chromosomes to call this guy repeatedly and ask stupid questions about what he’s selling. (Or even better, find someone really knowledgeable about them and ask him questions that would stump him!) But I’m a good girl. Just ask my dad.

    Sent in by Dan, who obviously knows about this kind of stuff since he’s a guy and all.

  • YSaC, Vol. 246: Is there a world record for simultaneous reclination?

    4 Recliner Curved Sofa

    Want to buy a curved 4 recliner sofa

    Is that a question, or a statement?

  • YSaC, Vol. 243: Burning crosses are not warm and fuzzy.

    Warm your heart and soothe your soul – $25

    243b

    Kira sends this in, saying, “Yikes, because nothing says heartwarming like the KKK riding off into the sunset….”

    Is it just me, or does it look like they’re riding alpacas? Or maybe tauntauns?

    I’ve blurred the phone number and link to the artist’s home page, because after looking at the other works displayed there, I honestly don’t think that “Early Racist Art” was quite the genre s/he was going for — although I can’t figure out what it would be otherwise! Any ideas?

  • YSaC, Vol. 237: Beep beep.

    95 Caddy STS – $2800

    YOU ARE LOOKING AT ONE BAD ASS RIDE!! THE FIRST LUCKY BASTARD WHO COMES TO SEE THIS CAR WILL BUY THIS RIDE!!! I MUST SELL FAST TO PAY FOR MY DIVORCE!!! I’VE BEEN ORDERED TO PAY VAGINAMONEY!!! AS YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL BY READING THIS I AM NOT F$%^KING HAPPY!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A 1995 CADILLAC SEVILLE STS 32 VALVE V-8 NORTH STAR ENG, HAS POWER EVERYTHING, LEATHER INTERIOR, FACTORY CD/TAPE STEREO, FACTORY CHROME WHEELS, EVERYTHING WORKS, IT GETS 21 MPG AND HAULS ASS. IF YOU EVER DROVE ONE YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!! IF YOU HAVE A LEAD FOOT GOOD LUCK KEEPING TIRES ON IT CAUSE IT WILL CONSTANTLY LITE THEM UP IN SMOKE!!! MY LOSS IS YOUR GAIN!!! DO YOU KNOW WHY DIVORCE IS EXPENSIVE?…….. BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!!! YOU CAN CONTACT ME AT xxx-xxx-xxxx JAMES

    We can tell you’re not f$%^king happy — you’re shouting. Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Caps Lock key. It turns on and off. Also, there are types of punctuation other than the exclamation point.

    The surprising thing here isn’t that this fellow is getting divorced, it’s that anyone who would actually conceive of the term “Vaginamoney” and use it in a public setting — much less in an attempted retail transaction — would find someone who would marry him in the first place.

    I’ve noticed that there are certain models of car I know for a fact I will not like the owner of.* In other words, the type of personality that would buy a Chevy Monte Carlo SS, for example, is a personality type that I will not get along with. I have (quasi-)empirical evidence to back this up — I have never met a Monte Carlo SS owner/driver that I like. Has anyone else had this experience (not just with Monte Carlos)? Based on this, I think I might have to tentatively add Cadillac Seville owners to that list. Anyone who judges their car’s quality based on the potential to ‘burn rubber’ has a vastly different set of priorities than I do.

    *Yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. I couldn’t figure out a better way to get through that one.

  • YSaC, Vol. 236: Taking one for the Team (Mobile?).

    Very Different but very cute guy available for fun or dating – 22

    Hey, “I am the gay friend”, and yes he could easily find a girl/lady and does. But, he gave me a chance to look around for him because of some stuff we talked about.

    He is:
    6’2 short blond hair, blue eyes, big arms, nice chest, nice back muscles. (Yeah, Ha ha ha okay so I check him out..lol do you blame me?)

    Personality:
    He is a self assured, motor cycle riding (sport bike), average guy, He respects women, and takes up for his friends as needed. (he has for me)

    He and I talked:
    not too long ago after I had gone out of my way to help him out (not money) more then once. He said “You know your one of those people you know you can count on. Is there anything I can do for you – no gay shit-!” I laughed and we talked for a while. I had shared I was curious about a few things:
    1. I woke up once to another friend and his girl having mad passionet sex- it actually effected me. ( I was not interested at all in girls before that Point) as well as I am not sure I am now. I am “ha ha” bi-curious towards girls I guess. — So I asked if I could watch sometime because he described to me before how he had enjoy different things with women.

    2. I was curious about how he looked Naked. I said “I know I cant have you, but really wouldnt mind seeing you.

    He told me “I could never just show you by myself, it would just seem to werid to me. I also would enjoy helping you determine in you were bi -with women- but could not do a 3 some with you.”

    I was fine with both of those.

    So I am seeking a girl/lady from 18 to 39 (he has dated up to 39 – she was hot – and thats from a gay dood..lol)

    HERE IS THE DEAL/ OPTIONS:
    1. He is willing to just let a girl get him worked up and take it out for him (he said he couldnt get hard with just me in the room etc). or

    2. He is willing (he might be scared) to let me watch him and a girl/lady have passionet sex. Providing they are willing. The one girl I knew, was afraid her breast were too small. No matter how much I tried to explain i was gay and didnt care…that it was more about seeing the passion and the fun..

    He is willing to DATE or Do a Special sexual night. He really doesnt do one night stands but if you together want to do this project he would.

    So I laughed and said “Imagin if you two hit it off, and got married…some day down the road we would sit and laugh out how you met”

    So requirments;
    That you be 18-to-39 (some older exceptions could be made)
    He prefers white, or assian or similar
    You must send picture, and I am working on getting a good dressed one of him.

    Note: I do not plan to join, I wouldnt want to offend him..unless he changed his mind. So do not worry about that. Also I am not looking to change him, so I am not looking for someone to con him into letting me do stuff to him. He is my friend and I intend to keep it that way.

    Okay, let me get this right. You’re trying to find a woman who will sleep with your straight friend while you watch, so that you can simultaneously see your good friend naked AND determine whether or not you might be attracted to women.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    And how could you have possibly explained that in any more concise of a fashion? I’m sure it couldn’t have been done in, say, 37 words and a single sentence.