You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 262: Today’s lesson — the singulare tantum.

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drmk

in

FREE UNDERWEARS!!!

anyboody want some free underwears? i got 9 mens large breefs. desent shape, no big holes, no skid marks. i didtn wear them hardly much and dont fit no more. my loose is you’re gain!

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Juliet sends this one in, saying, “I do like the variety of underwear displayed. You have the leg-hugging shorts, lots of basic black (it’s always chic, a man’s version of the little black dress), and the  velour couch-print speedo-style; but my favourite for sure are the beigey-pinky briefs. It doesn’t get any sexier than those. And no skid marks? How awesome is that? Cuz, when I want free underwears, skid marks are a dealbreaker. So are big holes, although I don’t mind a few small ones. One has to have standards when it comes to free underwears. I can’t just take just any free underwears from just anyboody. And best of all, their loose is my gain! How can anyoone pass up such a great offer?”

Yup, that about covers it. Unlike those leopard-print speedos.

Is it really geeky of me to be amused that the phrase singulare tantum has a plural form? Yeah, I thought so.

Comments

40 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 262: Today’s lesson — the singulare tantum.”

  1. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    Doesn’t he know that there’s actually a market out there for worn pants – he could make millions!

    Have just discovered your blog – my boyfriend keeps wondering what the explosive bursts of laughter coming from my direction are all about 😀

    1. Nathan Avatar
      Nathan

      I was going to say the same thing.

  2. dogface Avatar
    dogface

    I think this one might be another joke. The bad grammar/spelling and the repeated use of underwears (Really? Underwears?) are making me think this person’s either a complete moron or joking. Sadly, I can believe both. *sigh*

    1. cf Avatar
      cf

      I dont know, i’m afraid that this man exists and isnt being facetious. Once a man owns leopard speedos, the sky is the limit.

      1. dogface Avatar
        dogface

        Ah, how sadly true. At least he doesn’t have any gold lame banana hammocks. A man who owns such underwear has unlimited evil power.

    2. Colleen in MA Avatar
      Colleen in MA

      That was my first impression too. Please please tell me it’s a joke.

    3. Supreme Ruler Avatar
      Supreme Ruler

      My sister’s ex always got his ‘hairs’ cut, and thought we were nuts for paying so much to have a ‘hair’ cut.

    4. eeyore19 Avatar
      eeyore19

      There’s a guy who posts just like this on a message board I used to belong to. He refused to say “money”…it was always “moneys”. He was also prone to throwing in random punctuation (especially using lots of question marks).

      One of his posts on YouTube even got mocked on xkcd:
      http://forums.xkcd.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=10378

  3. candace Avatar
    candace

    My only wish is that he had spelled it “anybooty” instead of anyboody. That would make it perfect.

  4. CE Blog Avatar
    CE Blog

    Geeks rule this world. Let your light shine, wordsmith.

  5. Jackie Avatar
    Jackie

    If the underpants gnomes haven’t come to take them yet, I’m pretty sure I don’t want anything to do with them.

    1. cf Avatar
      cf

      Phase 1: collect underpants

      1. Avatar
        Anonymous

        What’s step 2?

        Well, step 3 is profit!

  6. rev Avatar
    rev

    “My loose is your gain.” Somehow, the fact that he has “loose” does not make these underwears more attractive to me. “Loose” doesn’t qualify as skidmarks, I guess. More like “rohrshach.”

    1. silvanoir Avatar
      silvanoir

      I don’t want a part of anyone’s “loose”

  7. LaSombra Avatar
    LaSombra

    @cf,
    Nice idea, the South Park quote 🙂 Hadn’t thought of that.

    This ad reminds me of a posting in a Bulgarian dating site. Some guy with a fetish had explicitly denied being contacted in any way with proposals for sex. However, he was willing to pay 80 levs (~$50) for a used g-string. “Worn for at least 5 days w/o washing” it said. I believe there may be an old lady with a fetish for used man’s “breefs”. And this dude is giving them away! What a way to make an old lady happy!

  8. Stinkerbell Avatar
    Stinkerbell

    The wording on this make me think of the Crocs from ‘Pearls Before Swine’.

    “Hullooooo zeeba neighba! You wants free underwears? I got 9 pair large breefs.” It wouldn’t be any more outlandish than their other failed plots to catch Zebra.

  9. kelli Avatar
    kelli

    Underwears? Under theres.

    1. Irregular Fractal Avatar
      Irregular Fractal

      I could hide out under there.

      1. kelli Avatar
        kelli

        I just made you say underwear.

    2. silvanoir Avatar
      silvanoir

      therewolf!

      1. valarie Avatar
        valarie

        At least he’ll have something to wear (were?) when he changes at the next full moon.

  10. Dave and Ferret Tribe Avatar
    Dave and Ferret Tribe

    I’m underwhelmed.

  11. valarie Avatar
    valarie

    Whaaaa??? No “Home of the Whopper” boxers? Dang!

  12. Llama Derp Avatar
    Llama Derp

    my loose is you’re gain!

    Are you calling me fat?

    1. kelli Avatar
      kelli

      No, he’s calling you laundry detergent. I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.

  13. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    In Australia, speedos are known as budgie smugglers. 8)

    1. Llama Derp Avatar
      Llama Derp

      [random Monty Python] Don’t you know the way to put your budgie down? You use the “How to put Your Budgie Down” book and hit them with it right between the eyes.[random Monty Python]

  14. Llama Derp Avatar
    Llama Derp

    i got 9 mens large breefs.

    There are nine men out there highly disturbed by their underwear being posted on Craigslist. Especially the one with the leopard print. Sparkette told them she loved them all.

    1. Tankerbell Avatar
      Tankerbell

      If I remember correctly the Tweet that brought down his career, the grey snug-leg shorts used to belong to Congressman Anthony Weiner.

      (And yes, citizens of other realms, that is his real name.)

  15. camille Avatar
    camille

    Semper ubi sub ubis.

    1. Astro Avatar
      Astro

      [corey]The grammatically correct translation of “Always wear underwear” would be something like Semper interulam gere*. Interestingly, since interula does not, as far as I know, appear to be a singulare tantum, Semper interulas gere* would be just as correct, if a bit silly, as it would indicate that you are wearing multiple pairs of underwear. And while we’re sharing information, gere is the imperative singular of gero, the perfect active subjunctive third person plural of which is gesserit, from which Frank Herbert likely derived the name of the Bene Gesserit order in Dune.[/corey]

      * Or gerite if one is addressing multiple people.

      1. funky "eMonkey" monkey Avatar
        funky “eMonkey” monkey

        Your use of the word “gero” made me think of gyro, which made me hungry. Then I looked at the men’s bloomers. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Then realizing I’m thinking of food and drawers while commenting on Astro’s post made me feel like a pedophile.

      2. Tankerbell Avatar
        Tankerbell

        Actually, O Funky Simian, that’s better than how Astro’s post made me feel. Which was, kind of like a big glob of stupid. Not unlike this Sparky, actually.

        1. Smedley Avatar
          Smedley

          So, “Bene Gesserit” translates to “Good Underwear”?

      3. CapnMac Avatar
        CapnMac

        I would have thought, mothers not having much changed over the ages, that:

        “Mater loqui sic: Semper ornatum interulam inlimis semper”

        would be the quote.

  16. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    I ‘must’ remember to tell Captain Underwear about this.*

    *my son stuck a pair of underpants on his head and had a potato chip bag clip pinching the crotch so he could see out the leg part… he’s Captain Underwear.

  17. Tankerbell Avatar
    Tankerbell

    i didtn wear them hardly much

    But when he did wear them hardly, he enjoyed it very much.

    *I have no optimism that I remember what EB taught me about how to do html quotes. So when it comes out all fubar-ed, just imagine it’s right.

    ** Hey look! It only took one edit! Now I feel a little better after the intellect beatdown I just took from Astro’s latin underwear tutorial.

  18. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Dave, Ferret Tribe, Astro, another punch in your card. Where will it end? What is it getting you? Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Fruit of the Loons!

  19. Craigslist: A Fount of Knowledge – Learning One New Thing Each Day

    […] The other thing I learned was the term “plural tantum.” This word refers to words that always appear as plural, such as “pants,” “scissors,” and “electronics.” It has a sister term, “singulare tantum,” which refers to words that always appear as singular, such as “happiness,” “dust,” and “underwear.” […]

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