REDUCED!!!!PROTECTIVE Pad for 42″ table – RETRO 1950’S – $40
Protective pad for dining table. $40 OBO Make me an offer!
46″ round; with leaf pad, 46″ wide X 62″ long. Was on my mother’s kitchen table for 50 years, table still looks perfect! It will definitely protect you tabletop! Even from cigarettes! The pad has a few, slight burns on it from my daddy smoking for 30 years!
My son has the table now that they (my parents) are both deceased. He likes the look of the maple tabletop (that never saw the light of day while mama had it!) The leaf pad has only been used very rarely when we extended the table for holidays, it looks brand new!
Backing is felt, it’s the brown side in the pic. If not the same as “THE STAR”, it’s very similar!
The cats in the picture do not come with it, they just like their picture taken!
So if you want a table pad that is (a) made of asbestos, (b) smells of 30 years worth of smoke, (c) has cigarette burns on it (good thing asbestos doesn’t catch fire!), and (d) may or may not have been used as a cat playground, here you go.
JenB sent in this ad, saying, “It makes you wonder if the poster’s parents, now both deceased, died from the asbestos exposure or from her Daddy’s 30 years of smoking.”
I like my little sweet peas..share your pets with me
I just wanted to share and get word out to everyone, that me and brenda mullins, I am jack mullins have puppet pet shows in our home. You can bring your little snuggle bunny to participate but a $10 fee will apply. We have church related shows that are geared to the well being of the animal for its spiritual side and we even baptitize for $100. We take donations here in our trailer, I live w/ mrs mullins, my mom, and do have stuffed animals for sale ranging from $25 – $550.00.
Here is a pic of my mee maw and a pic of me making and holding toys for the animals, well I gotta get ready for tonights show, I hope yall can come and help save a animal and keep it on the spiritual path.
I love you. Jack Mullins
I love you too, Jack Mullins, but ours is the love that dare not speak its name. You see, our love is forbidden because my life’s mission is to prevent people from dressing their animals up in clothing. You seem to not only be doing that, but charging people for the privilege of doing so, and then subjecting the animals to being participants in strange religiously-based pet puppet shows.
Is there really a big problem with heathen animals? I mean, other than hermit crabs, because those things are obviously Satan’s minions.
And am I the only wondering whether the “stuffed animals” they’re offering for sale are fabric animals or taxidermied versions of the animals who kept missing their lines in Lent’s Passion Play? Have you ever tried to teach a Siamese cat Latin? It’s not pretty.
You know those letters you were trying to save by using u and ur? Yeah, you pretty much made up for it by adding in the random letters in the title.
I mean, I realize that the word “manure” is obsceuwer, but I asseuwer you that yoeuwer ad will proceuwer more grandeuwer if youeuwer spelling is more mateuwer and less unseuwer.
There’s something very sweet about this ad, but there’s also something very, very wrong about it as well.
Young Bachelor in Need
Hello my son is 24 and moving into his very first own place today. He just came out of a nasty relationship and is a bachelor. I am with my husband who is a truck driver and we will not be home for two weeks to help. He has no furniture, and any good clean furniture would be appreciated as well as household items including fans , blankets pots, pans etc that no one needs anymore. He can pick up. ( Pictures, comic books old dvds that will keep him busy and u no longer need dvd player anything). He works full time so he is not a slouch, its just rough for young people, and I am not home to help him move or set him up so i feel bad. We are not asking for charity. He can work for good furniture or work out a payment schedule if the items are cheap and things he likes and needs. He is a good boy. He has no bed or living room couch or chair at all and no blankets or fans. I am sure any food donations would also be appreciated. Likewise, I often help others in need and will reciprocate to any person I can help. Thank You and God Bless. Please email xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com or call xxx xxx xxxx. His name is Tony.
It’s nice of Tony’s mom to try to help out her son, but … ma’am, Tony is 24 years old. He needs to be able to figure out how to do things (like go to the Salvation Army or use Craigslist) on his own now. At some point he’s going to walk into his new apartment and say to himself, “Self, I’d like to sit down but I don’t have any chairs. How can I rectify this situation?” And rather than having his answer be, “I know! I’ll call Mom and see if she has any chairs, or any idea about how to acquire them!”, he SHOULD be able to figure out how to acquire chairs on his own.
Your son is almost a quarter century old — why are you asking people for comic books or old dvds to “keep him busy”? (Is it wrong that I’m tempted to send a “Thomas the Tank Engine” dvd?) Doesn’t he have hobbies? Friends? Or have you coddled this poor boy so much that he’s strangled his social life with your apron strings?
3 OF THEM ARE DUMPY WHITE TREE FROGS AND THE OTHER ONE IS A RED LEGED TREE FROG
I WAS HIDING THEM FROM MY PARENTS AND THEY COUGHT ME SO NOW THEY HAVE TO GO =(
THERE GREAT EATERS , THEYRE REALLY HEALTHY,AND SUPER EASY TO TAKE CARE OF
THEY LOVE KRICKES AND BEING IN THE WATER BOWL
THEYER REALLY FRIENDLY LIKE TO BE CARRIED
THEYRE REHOMING FEE IS $21 EACH
THERE AS BIG AS YOUR PALM OF YOUR HAND
Today’s lesson: statistics.
Let’s say you have three forms of a word that sound the same but are spelled differently and mean different things. I don’t know, let’s say those words are there, they’re, and their.
Now let’s say that you write something that uses those words five times. What are the chances, if you use one of the three different spellings randomly each time, that you will get the proper word in the proper place completely by accident at least once? (The answer is, of course, 1 out of 3 — each time you choose a word at random, there’s a 33.33% chance that it was the right one.)
Let’s add in an additional complication, just for fun: let’s say that you aren’t content with just the existing (and correct) three forms of the homonym, and you decide to add in your own incorrect version of the word, theyer. Now what do you think the chances are of getting the right version of the word in the proper place at least once is? (The answer is, of course, 1 out of 4, or 25%.)
Okay, okay. Let’s move on and do a different type of problem. Let’s say that you have four frogs, all of which apparently are capable of enlarging their vocal sacs to act as a resonant chamber for the air being pushed through their larynx. Let’s say that you’re keeping them in your house. What do you think the chances are that your parents will not be able to identify this sound and its location?
Given those odds, and the spelling in the rest of this ad (crock? leged? cought? krickes?), for bonus points: What time will Train A arrive in Chicago?
Thanks for the submission, Kim!
Also: Be sure to check out the update I posted late last night, just below this post. It’s a dramatic adaptation of an earlier spambot posting done by a reader, and it’s fantastic.
Sara and khs sent in these two posts separately, but they turn out to tell a beautiful story about a man and his … donkey.
man needs good home – 31
my name is josh i just got kicked out of my house me and the old lady just split up i have noware to go and to top that off i am on house arrest 4 child support so all i need is a home phone that house arrest people can call and make shure that i am there.i also need 70 a week to keep up on my child support .i put the ball in your court.i am easy to git along with and love children.so please some body out there you can keep me out of jail and at the very least you would have made a good friend.I would not be posting this add if i had any where elce to go besides jail.i am a good handy man and can do about any thing so please email or hit me up at [spelled out phone number] i have until tonight to git some where i know its a lot to drop on someone but trust me its worth it i know there is some way that i will be able to help u.call and i’ll tell u y they call me donkey waiting by the phone
thank you
ps can shave if u don’t like that josh aka[donkey]
Translation: I’m a deadbeat dad and I’m looking for someone who will let me live with them for free and pay my back child support for me.
Somewhat unsurprisingly, this strategy seems not to have worked for our friend “donkey”, as this post appeared a few days later:
your last chance – 31
here it is i do not care about looks someone needs a man around the house and i am that man i am strait forward and will tell u if u will git any ,i need a place right now so if you are cool anough i can dio any thing work on cars what ever u need drywall to carprt i am on house aresst just the call in someone call to make shure i am home if any thing you would have made a good friend so i guess hit me up if u need a man or just a dude i will only need a place 4 a month or 2 unless i realy like u witch you will know i am strait forward
He will tell me if I will “git” any, and if I’m cool enough he’ll do work around the house for me? I’m sorry, donkey, my good friend, but given your current circumstances, I don’t think those decisions are entirely up to you. Now put on that frilly apron that looks so nice with your ankle monitor, and dance for my amusement.
