You Suck at Craigslist

Category: other

  • YSaC, Vol. 1789: Bad Title! No Title Biscuit!

    We haven’t done a “Bad Titles” medley for a while. Here’s some winners that don’t really gain anything by including the rest of the ad:

    message chair

    I think I’ll Skype the credenza instead.

    Mental Filing Cabinet

    Sadly, I can’t figure out if “car keys location” is filed under “c” for “car” or “k” for “keys” or “l” for “location” or “w” for “where are my keys” or…

    Ass Moldings

    That’s probably what happens if you sit in the message chair for too long.

    Insulted Pipings

    Not galvanized? Well I never!

    Varity wood mirrow and jew

    Even WITH the rest of the ad, I still can’t figure out what the “jew” part means. Maybe Sparky is mispronouncing “you?”

    Hole grage full of assorted tools

    As far as I can tell “grage” is not a word in ANY language, not just English.

    SLAY BED FRAME/BEST OFFER

    DIE BED FRAME DIE!

    Antique dresser buff-aye

    However, the merely vintage nightstand votes nay, and the barely retro coffee table abstains.

    free crip infant for kids

    Boy, this gang violence is just starting earlier and earlier, isn’t it?

    Thanks for the posts, Mackenzie, Christine, sd, Ralph, robot@craigslist, Eleanor, and Jason!

  • YSaC, Vol. 1778: For sooth

    let an angel sing to you

    let me express my dedication to my two home countries.
    call me and i will sing either the American national anthem or Canadian national anthem to you.
    i love my countries and would like to let you hear the voice of an angel sooth you on this beautiful labor day.

    Oh hey – a national anthem post. I should totally use this for volume 1776.

    Oh crap.

    True fact – drmk and I go to a lot of amateur sporting events. At these events, amateur persons often sing the American and/or Canadian national anthems. 99 times out of 100 they are not even a LITTLE bit soothing. In fact, our friends have determined that far more entertaining than the actual performer is watching us twitch at each random modulation and botched intonation.

    So I think, Sparky, you will NOT be hearing from us on the dial-an-anthem line any time soon. Unless you want to perform the honors for Johncageistan.

    Thanks for the post, Greg!

  • YSaC, Vol 1756: A Public Service Announcement

    Hello, this is an important public service announcement from You Suck At Craigslist.

    Poptart ad is fake

    Poptart ad is fake

    The more you know…

    This message brought to you by Mackenzie.

  • YSaC, Vol. 1743: Boweling for Dollars

    It’s amazing the things you can find on Craigslist:

    Avengrs Panic Table

    WOW*** BIG HORSE ***STAFFED ANIMAL ***

    fish bowels

    Heavy Solid Made in USA Copper Bowels

    Breaded Dragon

    Gardenza – $30

    Self repelled mower

    Leather ‘barker’ lounger

    Doeer electric corp. Wench – $1

    STUDIO W/ WALKING CLOSET

    Thanks, Melissa, sd, euleria, Lynette, Molly, Ginger, Ted, Cat, and Jessica!

  • YSaC, Vol. 427: Title of the Post.

    We here at YSaC put a lot of thought into the titles of our posts. It pleases us greatly when someone gets the (occasionally obscure, usually stupid) reference we are making. Hell, it just pleases us if someone notices there is a title at all!

    Anyway, sometimes we get submissions where people haven’t put quite as much thought into the title of their ad as we do. For example:

    Free Baby and Various items

    “Yes, the baby is still available, as are the various items. I’m sorry, what? What are the various items? Oh, there’s lots of stuff … there’s a combine harvester, a cassette tape of Seals & Crofts, a turnip twaddler, and four garbage bags full of ping-pong balls. You’ll take all of it and the baby? Great!”

    i box of misselounous – $20

    There was a big Greek community where I grew up. It’s nice of Mr. Box O. Misselounous to introduce himself to everyone on Craigslist. I think he might have been my algebra teacher.

    AVENT ISIS ON THE GO MANUAL BEAST PUMP KIT-PAID $50–USED EXACTLY ONCE

    It was used exactly once, but it was used to pump a herd of wildebeest across a crocodile-infested river. (You may have seen the footage on the When Animals Eat Each Other channel.)

    THE BEST VENUE FOR THE BEST RAPERS

    We should put our up incoming female raper in touch with this venue. I mean, if you’re going to do something, at least be the best at it, right?

    Thanks to Kriss, Ashley, totallyfakeaddress@email.com (hey, if that’s what you send me, that’s what I’m going to post!), and Jocelyn for the submissions!

  • YSaC, Vol. 419: Sometimes sucking at Craiglist is a punishable offense.

    A recent news story involves a rather creative, but suck-tacular, use of Craigslist:

    Man arrested for selling stolen furnace after posting phone number online

    John Allen Chudley, 38, of Knoxville, is charged with charged with aggravated burglary, theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.

    Police said Chudley broke into a vacant North Knoxville house at 1416 Kenyon Street and took pictures of the furnace.

    Then he listed it for sale on Craigslist and posted a picture and his cell phone number.

    The homeowner found out, called Chudley saying he’d like to buy the furnace, then called 911.

    Chudley met officers, thinking one was the buyer, and sold them the furnace. He even helped load it into their truck.

    Police said Chudley also had outstanding warrants for aggravated burglary and theft. Plus, he agreed to talk to them about other thefts and burglaries.

    Chudley was taken to the Knox County Jail.

    Even better, Dan sent me this shining example of Craiglist incompetence and intrigue, which actually happened to him!

    Hi,

    I recently had my car stolen with all of my home inspection tools inside. I started checking CL to see if any of the tools showed and, sure enough, my $8000 thermal imaging camera was for sale 3 days after the theft for $200.

    More after the jump … (more…)