YSaC, Vol. 201: Where my money at? Love, Grandma

2009 February 4
by drmk

Greeding Cards 4 Sale


I have 1 Box of greeding cards! The fansiy halmark and other brands like that! There is over 50 cards, And evelops! If you want them I Am asking $45 ar best offer! My email is Xxxxxx@rocketmail.com Thanks! email me for ?’s

Pic below is not all the cards I have! I have all kinds! But they are in a box!

Greeding cards — for when you care enough to get your money back.

I can see the cards now. On the front it says, “I was just thinking about how much I love you …”, and when you open it it says, “… and your bank account.”

(And yes, she posted the exact same crappy cell phone picture twice in the ad.)

52 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 February 4
    TastyPrawn permalink

    Oh, man, I love “the fansiy halmark” ones!

    Adores: 3
  2. 2009 February 4
    Jessie permalink

    My head hurts from this. I think my eyes may just start bleeding. Or maybe if greeting is spelled greeding, then my ears are bleeting. I really don’t know. OY!

    Adores: 6
  3. 2009 February 4
    cmc permalink

    how is it even possible to misspell ‘or’?
    ‘ar’? really?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 February 18
      Steph permalink

      *pronounces it aloud*

      What we have here, YSaC-ers, is a pirate from North Dakota. Arrrrr…

      Adores: 9
  4. 2009 February 4
    Mandee permalink

    The spelling reminds me of someone I knew on a message board. And in her words, I think this posting is juse fyne!!!!! 😉

    But really…I need some of those fansiy halmark cards! Or Craigslist needs to add a spell check! But then what would we giggle at?

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 February 4
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    I want to aks her were she lernt her speling frum.

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 February 5
      Windrose permalink

      Come back to us, Princess Luceval! Your snark is missed!

      Adores: 2
  6. 2009 February 4
    Random Person permalink

    Someone where I used to work put up a sign about a coming work event that said “Be there are be square.” The only thing one might say in her defense is that that’s also how she pronounced the word. Not a great defense, but I can’t imagine a better one. (Unless maybe these people are pirates. Arrrrr(e)!)

    Adores: 4
  7. 2009 February 4

    on top of all the other spelling answers, how do you misspell hallmark when it’s in the picture you took? come on!

    Adores: 2
  8. 2009 February 4

    that should have been spelling errors, but at least i spelled “answers” correctly. my mind goes too fast for my fingers sometimes.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2009 February 4
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    And her picture is not actually of what she has! What, she stealthily went into an actual ‘halmark’ store and took a picture of their ‘greeding’ cards? It’s like the ebay sellers who use catalog pitures to show their wares.

    Adores: 4
  10. 2009 February 4
    Rebecca permalink

    I feel bad sometimes making fun of people’s spelling, because some people don’t have a good education through no fault of their own. But….seriously…who misspells “or”?

    Adores: 4
  11. 2009 February 4
    Mandy permalink

    Makes one wonder with the obvious intelligence level and picture taking skills of said person that when you actually get your “box of greeding cards” they are not already signed for you. Not bad when they are from Mom, Gramma, etc., but what if your name isn’t Joe Bob Sue or whatever this persons’ relatives’/friends’ names are?

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 5

      Shoot – I should have read the vintage snark a little more carefully.

      Adores: 2
  12. 2009 February 5

    Doesn’t this belong in the “barder” category?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 February 5
      Windrose permalink

      Unless you mean wrapped in bacon, you meant to write barter. And since you didn’t continue to comment, and can laugh at you from the future, and shun you.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 February 5

        I think the quotation marks are meant to indicate that this is how sparky would have spelled the word.

        But wrapped in bacon would be awesome. [sigh] I want bacon now.

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 February 5
          Windrose permalink

          Sorry, Moira! Any you are no doubt right about the quotation marks. Here, let me put some bacon in the cup holder and hit send.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 February 5

          Thank you.
          I have put in a request with the Bacon Transport Board to have it redelivered to Emperor Norton’s Pizzeria where I shall consume it with bread, sauce, cheese, and other appropriate condiments shortly.

          Adores: 1
  13. 2009 February 5

    I’m more struck by the fact that it’s 2009 and there’s someone still using rocketmail.com, which I’m pretty sure disappeared sometime last century.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 February 5
      LurkRealClose permalink

      That’s my favorite part, also. I was thinking of responding to this ad using my compuserve email, and then I remembered what year it was.

      Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 5

      [corey]Actually, I believe Yahoo bought it and allows new users to use that as the “.com” for their e-mail address.[/corey]

      Adores: 1
  14. 2009 February 5
    elana permalink

    $45 for a box of greeting cards? Seriously?

    Adores: 3
  15. 2009 February 6

    Those damned fansiy Hallmark greeding cards! Who do they think they are?!

    Adores: 3
  16. 2009 October 2
    Sidekickboy permalink

    So I Am is asking $45? She’s um…she’s selling greeting cards for God?

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 February 5
      Windrose permalink

      If we were keeping score for Don’t Suck appearances back in 2009, this would have been a good candidate. 8) Adore from the future!

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 February 5
        CapnMac permalink

        Could be a mispeeling of “Ian” (or, heaven help u, Iain, too <G>)

        Adores: 1
  17. 2011 January 24

    If the Hallmark cards are the fancy ones, I shudder to think what the other brands look like.

    Adores: 4
  18. 2011 February 5
    ToBScholarly permalink

    Reasons Why Someone Would Get Rid of a Box of Greeding Cards:
    1) They are refurbs and do not work anymore.
    2) She anticipates losing all of her family and friends in the apocalypse.
    3) She is boycotting the USPS and refuses to buy stamps.
    4) She has decided to send her well-wishes through ESP instead.

    Adores: 7
  19. 2011 February 5
    LaKitta permalink

    Evelops: the first female cyclops. Nice rack, poor depth perception.

    Adores: 16
  20. 2011 February 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    email me for ?’s

    Dear Sparkles McSparkcase,

    For ?’s what? It’s ATM PIN, it’s top ten list of favorite adverbs, it’s missing sense of purpose in life now that the Internet whips it out more often than a pervert in a porno theater; what is it, exactly, that you have of ?’s that you think would be so valuable?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 February 5
      Moira permalink

      Psst, SJ, hide those three extra ‘ you put in there before anyone else notices. (Possessive, not contraction.)

      😉

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 February 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        Damn.

        I mean … I did it on purpose, maybe?

        Have I blamed cough syrup for anything yet this week?

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 February 5

          Cough Syrup always works as an explanation.

          Adores: 1
  21. 2011 February 5
    LimeLolly permalink

    Greeding cards: for those times when chocolate ice cream simply isn’t enough to fill that void in your loneliness. When you care enough to eat the very best, have a fansiy Halmark greeding card. Guaranteed to satiate you.

    Adores: 3
  22. 2011 February 5

    Greeding Cards: What Gordon Gecko sends to day traders when they make their first million.

    Adores: 1
  23. 2011 February 5
    Moira permalink

    What are the odds these are all signed?

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 February 5
      christina permalink

      Don’t you mean singed?

      Adores: 4
    • 2011 February 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Probably right up there with being water or smoke damaged.

      Long shot: Bought off someone who bought the cartons from the liquidation/receoivership sale of a bankrupt card store.

      Mind you, the thought nags that IAm-Sparkie really needs $40 to get enough bail money together to free whoever shoplifted the box of cards, too (the extra $5 is for gas to get downtown).

      [card corey]I can get 25 custom imprinted christmas cards, with my address on the envelopes for $17, all up, including s/h and taxes and the like. Fifty cards would run me about $26. But, I can spell Iain, too.[/corey]

      Adores: 0
  24. 2011 February 5
    Windrose permalink

    Hallmark used to have a machine (haven’t seen it in a while) that would put in the name and personal details of the person to whom you were sending the card. So I wonder if these are a collection of that sort of card where the buyer found something better pre-printed and didn’t take the personal one.

    Also, Arrrr!

    Adores: 2
  25. 2011 February 5
    Angel permalink

    Greedo: “Koona t’chuta, Solo?”

    Adores: 4
  26. 2011 February 5

    But they’re in a box! A box! What more could you possibly want? The box surely makes all the difference! I mean, you wouldn’t buy over 50 fansiy halmark cards and evelops without a box – that would just be crazy!!!!!

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 February 5

      I know OUR box is special.

      But I think I would rather have my fansiy halmark cards in a bag… or perhaps a barrel. I could really use a new barrel.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 February 5
        Windrose permalink

        Did you shoot your former barrel full of holes trying to hit the fish?

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 February 5

          I guess I must have. The o’Fun keeps leaking out.

          Adores: 4
  27. 2011 February 5

    Fansiy Halmark:

    I’m afraid I can’t let you mail me, Dave.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 February 5
      Angel permalink

      Halsnark?

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 February 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Was not Hal Holbrook in a bunch of those Hallmark Movies?
      (He’s not a 9000 series, you know.)

      Adores: 0
  28. 2011 February 5
    Addicted Reader permalink

    Every “sentence” ends with an exclamation point.

    Sparky’s been licking the envelope glue.

    Adores: 2
  29. 2011 February 6
    Windrose permalink

    Ah, well, then end of a beautiful day in Southern California, and time to punch the denizen of the box. sarajean80, Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Kansas City!

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 February 6
      sarajean80 permalink

      I think this is the first time I’ve received public adoration for my forking skills.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 February 6
        Windrose permalink

        Stick around here, SJ, and it won’t be the last!

        Adores: 2

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